Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Paperback – January 2, 2002

You know that handful of books you think of as your top five keepers if you had to get rid of all the others? This is one of mine.Growing up, I hated my mom. I was abused in every way except sexual. As victims of abuse well know, the mental abuse is much more damaging than the physical. I thought moving out as a young adult would end the tyranny, but no... Only the physical abuse stopped. When my first child was a baby, I was still dealing with my psycho mother and was very close to removing her from my life forever. Then I found this book. I was in tears on almost every page, as my feelings were validated so intimately I thought she had to be writing about me personally. It was like she reached into my soul and called out my deepest hurts and said, "You are allowed to feel this way. I understand how you are affected by this toxic person, and I am going to help you make it stop."Now, this book isn't designed to help you feel better about everything that is going on internally. It is not going to tell you how to be okay with everything that happened and how you feel about it inside your mind. It is written with the intent of taking real action to affect REAL CHANGE in your relationship. In order to overcome the hurt caused by those in your life, you will learn how to take control of the situation by setting boundaries and changing the rules of how you will be treated in the future.It is not for the faint hearted. The advice in this book will be difficult, and you will be tempted to resist her advice. It will make things harder for awhile, depending on how much control your parents have and how willing they are to let it go. In the case of my mom, she resisted this change with all her might. It wasn't very pleasant for awhile there. But I will tell you it was ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT.Now, my relationship with her is pretty darn good! We aren't as close as she'd like us to be, as it is hard to let someone that hurt me that deeply into that vulnerable space again, but it's no longer a source of pain. Now, along with this book I also inserted some therapy in the mix, so please continue the work on yourself to be at peace with your past.I have referred to this book SO MANY TIMES over the years, and I recently bought the Kindle version as well. There is a young adult in my life that is currently dealing with her own toxic parent, and I felt this book would help her. I offered to loan her my paperback copy, but she is still living with her very controlling parent and they would find the book in their occasional random invasion of her privacy... So, I downloaded the Kindle version and gave her access to my Kindle app. She read the book and is working on utilizing the advice now.You can overcome your toxic parent, and if you are truly willing to reclaim your life, this book is a must have.

Ms. Forward had to been hiding somewhere in my closet to have written this book. My goodness you mean to tell me there's a name for a parent who treat their children this way? For the most part parents love their children unconditionally and as we know there is no such thing as the perfect parent. This is not what this book is talking about as parents we all make mistakes. My mother drove me crazy I couldn't win for losing with her. No matter how hard I worked or how much money I gave her it wasn't enough. She called me crazy, dared me to hit her so she could call the police. I never hit her even when she pushed me when I was 5 months pregnant. I cried and washed myself several times when she wanted me to touch her in places no child should touch their parent.This book describes the parent who goes beyond normal (Narcissist)to their child that uses guilt to scare the child to the point they are insecure even when they become adults. This book addresses abuse emotionally, physical, mental, sexual and I might add financial my mother used on me and my siblings. My mother used religion Jehovah Wittiness as guilt and this instilled a fear that we would be destroyed at Armageddon if we didn't do what she say. I decide before I read this book to do NC(No Contact) If you're not sure even as adult if your parents are toxic you need to read this book. You have options how to deal with toxic parents and still have a life. If you're ready to change things in your life and take control this is the book to help you. I know that Ms. Forward wasn't in my home to write this book but this book hits home on so many levels. You would think the hard part of not have No Contact is getting away from the abuse of my mother but it wasn't. It was the relatives who didn't know what my mother was doing to us who felt because this was my mother that I needed to forgive her and get the hatred out my heart to feel better. One relative ask how could I do this to my own mother since she was the one who gave me life? I don't share my story anymore because this raises a debate and most people tell me I got to forgive and move on. What my mother did to me, no mother who loves their child would never do. The scars of the abuse may be a lifetime and you may not fully heal but this book can help with therapy. As long as no one knew about the abuse everything was fine. When I got out and started talking to family and friends about the abuse my mother started sending her flying monkeys-you have to read the book as to who are the "Flying Monkeys" and how they can affect your decision on how to deal with a toxic parent. This book didn't miss a beat. Thank you Ms. Foward!