--- product_id: 1799423 title: "Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason" brand: "alfie kohn" price: "VT6096" currency: VUV in_stock: true reviews_count: 8 url: https://www.desertcart.vu/products/1799423-unconditional-parenting-moving-from-rewards-and-punishments-to-love-reason store_origin: VU region: Vanuatu --- # Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason **Brand:** alfie kohn **Price:** VT6096 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by alfie kohn - **How much does it cost?** VT6096 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.vu](https://www.desertcart.vu/products/1799423-unconditional-parenting-moving-from-rewards-and-punishments-to-love-reason) ## Best For - alfie kohn enthusiasts ## Why This Product - Trusted alfie kohn brand quality - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason ## Images ![Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71f3Xg9UBlL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars Fast read *by A***R on Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2024* Quick read. Very helpful. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ!!!!!!!! *by G***N on Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2009* This book is an absolute must-read on parenting. I was fortunate enough to come across this book when my oldest was a baby. I didn't know how it would work, but I was committed to the book's principles which really resonated with me. My son is now 4.5 years old, and I can tell you that this is a wonderful, loving, close, gentle, respectful way to parent, that pays more and more dividends as time progresses. I've watched my son blossom from a very intense and high-need baby/toddler to a very intense, active, loving, generous, kind boy. Did Unconditional Parenting change his basic independent, challenging, engaging personality? Of course not. Nor would I want it to. It took millions of years of evolution to give us all the wonderfully diverse personality types we see today. But he wasn't an "easy" baby, and he's not an "easy" child. But I see him mirroring his treatment of me and others by my treatment of him. He has a high respect for himself and others. He's happy,healthy, and thriving with the help of unconditional parenting (and attachment parenting).Update: (7-9-2011) Well, I've definitely had some parenting ups and downs since my last review. Have had some challenging periods. Got sucked into some more traditional discipline techniques, and had that spiral downward. I desperately began searching for specific advice, and found "Parent Effectiveness Training." That changed everything. P.E.T. gave specific advice about how to implement respectful, non-behavioral-modification discipline, and by discipline I really mean problem-solving. It's the nuts and bolts of how to effectively problem solve with not only children, but everyone in your life, for those of us whose parents were unaware of how to teach us these skills, as they were not taught to them by their parents either. Now, P.E.T. and UP has given today's parents the opportunity to stop the cycle of ineffective, disrespectful parenting.Unconditional Parenting gave me the knowledge and the "proof" to keep looking for respectful parenting strategies, but if you have strong-willed kids, like me, you need more. Read P.E.T. and then "How to Talk...." after that. Definitely Read UP to give you the fortitude to trust in avoiding punishments and rewards. I can tell you from personal experience, punishments and rewards start backfiring in a vicious way with strong-willed kids! And from my own childhood, I can tell you that they can interfere with a more pliable kid's sense of self.If you want to have a respectful, satisfying relationship with your children, if you want to raise them to take responsibility for their own behavior, without a carrot or a stick in the wings, then read the aforementioned books! ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all parents *by C***S on Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2008* I was skeptical before reading this book. No time outs? No punishments, no rewards? There's a problem with praise? I was even skeptical for the first few chapters. But by the end, I was won over by the sheer amount of research backing up Kohl's parenting philosophy.I told my husband when I finished it that I was going to try it. We were done with time outs, punishments and praise. My husband raised his eyebrows but went along. While I can't say that we've done this perfectly, the change this wrought in the behavior of our oldest (4 yrs old) was amazing. So much so that my husband said about two weeks later that whatever it was that I was doing differently, I should keep doing it. Her preschool teacher remarked that my daughter just seemed to "really change, really grow" all of a sudden. Truly, it was remarkable.It should be noted that this is not a "how-to" book. There are not a lot of practical examples of how to parent as Kohl suggests. For this, I would suggest reading "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish (as well as their other books).Even if you end up not agreeing with this book, I would suggest reading it since it will challenge you to think critically about what kind of children you want to raise and how they way you parent affects them.ETA: It's now been two years since I first read this book and I would still consider this the most important, even if not most helpful, parenting book I have read. It not only transformed my parenting but it gave me tools for sorting through the mounds of often contradictory advice out there. Reading this put me on a quest to build a better, more effective parenting toolbox, and I am so grateful for having learned better ways of responding to conflicts with my children (and for seriously reducing said conflicts as well!). For books helpful in this manner, I would also recommend reading Larry Cohen's "Playful Parenting" and Mary Sheedy Kurchinka's "Kids, Parents and Power Struggles." --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.vu/products/1799423-unconditional-parenting-moving-from-rewards-and-punishments-to-love-reason](https://www.desertcart.vu/products/1799423-unconditional-parenting-moving-from-rewards-and-punishments-to-love-reason) --- *Product available on Desertcart Vanuatu* *Store origin: VU* *Last updated: 2026-06-05*