Why Do I Have To?: A Book for Children Who Find Themselves Frustrated by Everyday Rules

I'm the mother of an 8 year old Aspie and this book is EXACTLY what I was looking for! "Why do I have to?" is a totally awesome book for kids who have compliance issues around rules and are always asking for an explanation of why they have to adhere. Start off by reading the "Preface for Children" which starts out "This book is for you if you get frustrated with adults who expect you to follow certain rules or do things that you think that you should not have to do". If your child is like mine, he will instantly decide that this book is for him and pay attention to it. The book is divided into several rules for: Home, School, and Friends, and has social stories for each rule, including pictures. In addition, to having the why and some "how" suggestions for each "rule", each scenario finishes by asking the child what things he/she can do to make compliance to this "rule" easier. This book is totally awesome ... one of my very favourite books that I have found so far. This one I give a super - high rating!

This book is Superb! Excellent! It is very concise. Each question and answer such as "why do I have to wear a jacket when it's cold outside" is 2 pages long. There are a few bullets explaining why and--the best part--a few bullets labeled "it might help if I..."My 8-year-old son and I have read this together, and it elicits comments, thoughts, ideas from him without my even asking. The issues are totally relevant to kids his age who wonder why there are rules in the world.As soon as I saw this book's title I thought "this is my son" and truly it is and it is very helpful! 10 stars! Thank you!

This book is helpful in my therapy practice for young children to help them to cope with challenges/frustrations that they face in everyday life. It provides some uiseful tips for coping. It is easy to implement some of the techniques.

This is an excellent way to teach ASD children why they have to follow certain rules at home, at school and with friends. Of all the books I have purchased to assist my ASD son (6 years), this is by far his favorite. A fantastic book with fantastic, easy to understand messages.

thanks

"This" is `a "book" for children who find themselves frustrated by everyday rules.' This is probably all you need to know about this publication, as well as the fact that it is a great, practical and resourceful read.However, you may wish to know a little more before you make a "purchase." First of all I would note that this book is written for children who `have difficulty coping with the hassles of everyday life.' The words `autism' and `Asperger' are nowhere to be found, but we all know what we're talking about.Generally speaking, I currently avoid books about "Asperger" Syndrome because whilst they may be useful in the future, for the time being, we exist on another inch of the "spectrum."However, I have a great number of "friends" with Asperger children. I am sympathetic to the very different challenges that they and their children experience, a different page in the very same tome.I never read the blurb on the back of a book, as I wish to avoid bias and make up my own mind. However, the introduction is compulsory for me. This lets me know if it is worthwhile turning to the next page. Here, the author sets the tone for the adult reader. Quite often it can be just one line that hits the nail on the head:- `often these children are not as interested in the answers as much as they are in winning more time to do a desired activity or support for their position.' The introduction is peppered with nuggets of wisdom and practical guidance:-- each story ends with a positive statement affirming the benefit of a more adaptive coping style- one of the biggest challenges in working with these children is getting the strategies that may work in one setting to generalize......-will not be automatic......rather it will take a great deal of work and practice before a child is able to integrate spontaneously.....without external support.-keeping track of the times that your child experiences success as well as .....roadblocks- collaborate with teachers- motivationThis tells me that the author knows what she is talking about which in turn convinces me to read on. Most importantly of all, the author emphasizes the importance of choosing only one campaign to work on at a time.This book could also be called `transitions, how to get through them?' Not as catchy but some of us with youngsters who are non-verbal or face different life challenges, know just how traumatic so many of these transitions can be for our children.The book is divided into three sections:-Rules that may be frustrating at homeRules that may be frustrating about friendsRules that may be frustrating about schoolYes, this is your child's life, and every single one of the `whys' pertains to most of our children, I've checked.For instance:--`why do I have to say `hello' with words?'-`why do I have to let other kids play a game the `wrong' way?'- `why do I have to go the bathroom when I don't need to?'I hope these questions also have resonance for you too? If not, please correct me.Still not convinced?After each story, [they're short,] there are several points or strategies suggested to help both child and parent. The suggestions are practical. Interestingly, they cover the categories that are most useful to my family, such as self calming, the sensory element[s], distracters, alternative outlets for frustration, self talk and sensory/bio feedback. Don't worry, none of those words appear in the book because the writer is far too canny to scare off those people would could most benefit from her words, including me!So what about the non-verbal child who never asks `why?' Could this really help a non-verbal child, especially if they don't sign? Who can say? I would say, or rather suggest, that even if a child does not say the word `why?' those questions are still percolating around inside. They also experience the same frustrations with the rules imposed upon them by adults. Frequently autistic children understand many more words [receptive language] than they are able to articulate. [expressive language]Lastly, just in case there are still any doubting Thomas', each story finishes with this question, "do you have any other ideas about what may help you......?" This provides the perfect invitation for the child and parent to work collaboratively. In my limited experience, all too often, my children, when given the opportunity, can come up with their very own solutions to a problem. Then, I have the problem. All I have to do is wrap my head around their alternative, try very hard to compromise and accept that quite often the answer is staring me in the face.Need one last practical example?Fair enough. What do I do about my boys and their friends, or more particularly their male friends? When they meet for a play date or say their good byes, they skip the words part and demonstrate their friendship with close physical contact. This is heartwarming to witness in toddlers and young people, but as young people grow larger, society is less accepting, cold hearted and full of disapprobation. At this early stage, I do not particularly wish to curb this behaviour. I would prefer to encourage it, but my sons are more likely to be accepted in society at large, if they can make small adaptations. What kind of adaptation? A formal hand shake isn't going to let them express what they need to express, but it is socially acceptable. What else? Follow the suggestion; ask the boys themselves. Their solution? `A boy hug,' which looks like a bear hug, lots of hearty, male testosterone bonding. Not my ideal, nor first choice, but it works, and that's all that really matters.Whitterer On Autism at Wordpress

My boys have ADD rather than autism. But, they are very oppositional to all suggestions! The situations in the book are ones we go over and over and over again, many of them daily. Both of my boys have Sensory Processing difficulties, and some solutions in the book address sensory issues. This is a good book for starting conversations, for backing up what I say to them, and to give possible solutions to their situation.

To be honest disappointing from this book . It’s basic staff what parents telling to children . Not colourful pictures in book .

Useful book for parents and their children.

The book is good but would be good to cover some other aspects of why they have to do things. But overall it's a good simple book.

Arrived on time and my ASD boy started to read it immediately...not seeing many results yet but these things apcan take time ;-)

This is a great addition to any school that helps challenging children, good for parents too. Would thoroughly recommend this to SENCo in you setting.