You Weren't with Me Paperback – February 12, 2019

This is an excellent book for young children who suddenly have their parent gone due to incarceration, or less seriously, deployed. With beautiful bunny illustrations, it accurately explains to the parent who was gone the importance of what was missed, and for the young child, articulates how they felt EACH TIME they wanted to share a joy or despair but could not.

Every one of us knows the pain of separation from someone we love. Children experience maternal separation with particular pain. From the moment of parting through to the long-anticipated reunion, their emotions spin. You Weren’t with Me by Chandra Ghosh Ippen Is a lovely, tender book that addresses the tumultuous, intense and complex feelings that children confront when they are separated from their mother.Whether caused by divorce, illness, deployment, incarceration, or adoption, the child is puzzled, heartbroken, afraid, and angry when separated from his mother. That stew of emotions is difficult for children to parse, to define, and to express. The delicate illustrations of a rabbit mother and bunny by Eric Ippen Jr. brilliantly capture this complexity in an almost magical way.Regardless of the length of the separation, it feels like forever for the child. The child feels unmoored, unsafe, and alone. Even after reunion occurs, their emotions do not quickly return to quiet stasis. Often, they hold back, remain angry and distant. Throughout the story, the mother gently listens with an almost-sacred patience. She resists the inclination to dismiss or invalidate her little one’s feelings. And responds with, “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you. We are together now… You probably felt so alone.”Because the mother listens without trying to diminish the bunny’s feelings, he feels safe enough to continue to share: “I worry that you will go away again… I don’t trust you.”Mother validates Bunny’s experience throughout the book. Because the story never specifies why Mother was gone nor does it mention how long they were separated, readers can personalize this aspect for a particular child’s experience. The text does a superb job of addressing a spectrum of emotions and concerns and models a very empathetic “serve and return” interaction between child and parent. I highly recommend this book.AQ Lens: Because I work with adoptive families I have a particular interest in finding books that open conversations about adoption-generated thoughts, feelings, and experiences WITHOUT actually being overtly about adoption. This book would be a superb read for an adoptive family. Children who were adopted beyond infancy will be able to identify with the bunny’s wishing that his parents had been there with him from the beginning to ally his fears and to provide security. This book can serve as a great way to spark important conversations.I have gifted this book to adults and children and the recipients tell me that it touched them in deeply, powerful ways.Gayle H. Swift, Author: ABC, Adoption & Me; We're Adopted, So What?; and Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith

Es una historia sobre la experiencia del nino que no tuvo a su progenitor al lado en momentos de peligro. Esta historia es muy informativa sobre como vive el nino esos momentos, asi como ayudar al adulto a entender los sentimientos que surgen en el y como brindarle apoyo y seguridad otra vez. Este libro debe ser traducido al espanol y otros idiomas.

Some children are unwillingly separated from important people they love. Two lop eared rabbits, one big one little, talk about their separation and share the road map on how to begin to repair their relationship.When a separation occurs, a child expects a parent to be there but they cannot be. When they finally reunite, the child has many confusing feelings including: disappointment, anger, sadness, loneliness, and distrust. The child wants to know the adult understands how they feel. This little book describes a child 's painful response to being let down by a beloved person. It guides that person how to begin to support the child and begin the repair of an important relationship. The heartfelt discussion leads to powerful healing. A book for adults to read along with children 4 years and up.

I was looking for a book to help my kid with separation anxiety and since there is so little available to preview with this book, I didn't really know what I was getting.However, this book would be wonderful for a child who has a parent/primary caregiver who was incarcerated or otherwise unable to be involved in the formative years of the child's life. It would even be good for a parent who was not involved by choice but later changed his/her mind.It is very sweet and gender neutral, which is good because so many kids have a parent who wasn't there and the parent may have been mom or may have been dad, and this was the kid won't feel off put because the rabbits don't match whichever parent it was.I really appreciate that the returning rabbit takes responsibility for its absence, owning it and apologizes. It deals confronts the past and then looks to the future, which is necessary in traumatic situations like this- no gaslighting or "let's just look forward, not backward".Since it didn't really serve my needs, I am hoping to gift it to a person who may be able to use it.

Many blessings to the author! This is a book every family should have in their personal library. The book helped with big feelings from a very little person. We love this book!

A sweet tale about how to deal with abandonment and separation anxiety. Little Rabbit explains to Big Rabbit all the emotions he feels due to Big Rabbit having been away from him for so long. I liked how patient and understanding Big Rabbit was of Little Rabbit and how she explained to Little Rabbit that being away from him had a great effect on her also. I liked the illustrations, but there weren't many variations present, so it just seemed as though the same image was being replayed. It was just a little too repetitive.Overall it was a good read. As the situation behind their separation wasn't explained or elaborated on, it will definitely leave young children asking numerous questions, so it's definitely a conversation starter. An enjoyable read.

Bought to read to a child but with a message an adult could appreciate.Simply written but powerful in message.

This book is awesome for helping identify and process emotions around separation and experiences of being apart. I like that it is left open to interpretation of what separated the the rabbits, and for how long, because it can apply to any reader’s personal situation. Well done and I love the illustrations! The rabbits are expressive and the whole book feels tender and caring.

An excellent therapeutic tool with children and parents where there's been separation e.g. children who've been in alternative care and then reunified with parents, or where parents have been absent for a period of time due to detox, hospitalisation etc. Sensitively written to address a topic for children and parents that can be difficult to talk about, but this aides in opening up dialogue about it.

Beautifully emotional and deep. Hits all the right cords and super validating for the child.

I bought this book for my daughters, 6 and 4.5. My husband and I are in the process of a divorce. I wanted to find a nice story that could give my daughters the vocabulary to talk to me about their feelings. This book is sensitive, respectful and allows all of the feelings. Excellent