What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal Kindle Edition

Wow. It is probably too late for me, now. I had this book for months based on a recommendation and allowed it to collect dust. As I finally picked it up and read it, at the end of things, I realize what a mistake that was. So much of my relationship was in here and ways to work through it. I suggest if you feel yours is in trouble, get this book and work it!

I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and this is one of my favorite books, and certainly one of the best couples books I've read. The suggestions are simple, and based on years of research. I have given this book to people I know who are struggling in their relationships.

I read a lot of relationship psychology books and this book is amazing. The best part is that it's not just someone's opinion, its theories are backed up by a lot of data and many experiments with real couples. Definitely worth the read if you want to improve your marriage.

Gottman has some terrific research evidence as a professional and do admire him. Though in this book, he denotes "Sex Addiction" as a potential issue. This is dated information and even the World Health Organization has ruled against this biased label. Yes, I am also a professional in the marriage counseling realm. This book has terrific insights for both lay-persons and professionals alike. Though one also needs to not further increase judgments regarding a banned biased "addiction" claim.

"What Makes Love Last?" really opened my eyes, the quizzes helped me to assess and evaluate where my relationship is and he uses study cases to allow you great perspective/understanding. Gottman gives great coaching/guidance on how to evaluate & handle situations in your love relationship and how you can work through them. The stories and examples really help to give a great understanding of what concepts, situations and resolutions are to come from the word of his work. I definitely would recommend this to anyone - even if everything is "perfect" and/or someone or couple is not in the best place in their relationship, there are great things to discover by reading this book.

John Gottman writes well, if not a little dry at times. This is more a science approach to love with lots of science based examples. Best heard as an Audio inside the car.

Amazon-- In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love….Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.Goodreads: IN THIS WISE, ACCESSIBLE, AND LONG-AWAITED BOOK, ….Gottman has spent decades observing the conversational patterns and biorhythms of thousands and thousands of couples in his famous Love Lab. Now he applies this research to fundamental questions about trust and betrayal. Doubts are common in relationships. Partners often worry. Can I trust my partner? Am I being betrayed? How do I know for sure?With a gift for translating complex scientific ideas into insightful and practical advice, Gottman explains how a couple can protect or recover their greatest gift, their love for one another.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This book is light and fairly easy to read. That is deceptive. It is a life-saver and one that I dearly wish was in my life when I was stumbling around. Read it if you want to learn about keeping trust in relationships. Oh wonder! Our biology wants closeness with others, yet we often undermine our most important love relationships.My five takehomes may be helpful to you in your needs-of-today.1) We are limbic beings, mammals, we need attachment. Connection is not optional for living a good life. We are more efficient when we trust and live longer with it. Mistrust with those close to us is extremely draining psychically/physically.2) This book has many fixits to restore trust, including detailed and useful surveys for couples to use. One whole chapter says “good relationships needs good sex.” And many lessons on “Learning Trust.”3) Gottman has a lot of lovely phrases that can help us to keep good habits of loving: Blame+ is the “Roach motel for lovers;” relational experiences go in the nice box, the neutral box, or the nasty box; do you walk through your partners proffered “Sliding door moment?” The “Ziegarnack effect” is that memories of unfinished business do not fade with time. You might notice the downward spiral of a relationship when you either start to have “Negative sentiment override;” and/or “negative comps”—comparing current partner with imagined other partners.4) Couples spending a lot of time in the Neutral Box [neither nasty nor nice] of emotionally un-flooded communication is very healing; especially if you can be emotionally neutral while noticing disagreements. Another way of saying—being non-reactive to a relationship’s emotional weather is darn important. Humor rocks!5) This book describes the ten kinds of betrayal of trust in relationships; sexual cheating is but one. Thank you, John and Nan for telling us as so much, so painlessly! And Kim for tightening this piece, nicely.

Ok, so, I've read a lot of self-help and relationship books in my time. I like to read and, well, wasn't exactly provided the best learning environment as a child. Anyway, there are some books I've read that gave me pretty valuable insight, like "Why Mars and Venus Collide"-a great book that explains the physiological differences between men and women and how they cause us to behave differently...among many others. But "What Makes Love Last?", to me, seemed the most thoroughly developed book on relationship behaviors and feelings I have read, yet. It covers topics that most books don't cover well, including the topic of betrayal between partners-one of the most elusive subjects of all because it's not so easy to realize that you, or your partner for that matter, are feeling betrayed, or why. It explains, with reason and detail, what REALLY works and is backed by research to bring about the most positive and longest lasting results to strengthen your relationship. And I found that a lot of the content can be applicable to ANY relationship! Excellent book! Would recommend to anyone.

Superb couple's therapy book by Gottman. Highly readable, extremely well explained. Not overly complicated but very well backed by scientific research. This book could be a game changer for a couple struggling with their relationship and are willing to shift their behavior and perspective. Would highly recommend

Excellent, sensitive, helpful, practical and humane

I found this book spoke to me very deeply considering I was betrayed for many years.

Very, very helpful. You must read it.

Very good book, the research gives the conclusions some good grounding, it is simple to understand practical, and easy the implement.