Trog

"Trog" was Joan Crawford's ultimate film. I mean ultimate in the sense of "last", not "best," but you knew that already. Truly one of the most unintentionally hilarious monster movies in history, the cast, and especially Crawford, plays their roles in a gravely serious manner. I think it's wonderful that the film is praised as high B-movie art by lovers of camp cinema today, though I'm guessing those involved might not be so thrilled with that dubious honor, given the long line of acting and production pedigrees involved with this atrocity."Trog" starts with three spelunkers exploring English caves. The movie starts very slowly, but decelerates all the way to the end. They inadvertently discover Trog, who kills one and injures another of their party when he's frightened. As a conveyance of horror Trog is a mixed bag: the face mask is actually reasonably well done (the lips and teeth are particularly good), but otherwise he looks more like a pakuni in "Land of the Lost" than a million year old pre-human. I would especially like to single three items about the costume out for scorn: first, his shoe-like objects; second, the extremely long fur appliance that covers part of his torso like a stringy hair poncho; and third, the almost complete lack of hair anywhere else on Trog in complete and unbelievable contrast to his hair poncho.Evacuating the cave the uninjured spelunker, Malcolm Travers (David Griffin, who many know and love from his role as Emmet Hawksworth in the brilliant series "Keeping Up Appearances"), takes his injured colleague to the nearby Brockton Research Centre, where Dr. Brockton (Crawford) rules with an iron stethoscope. Investigating the murder, the police tell Malcolm to remain in the locale, and Brockton gives him a job as an assistant, then convinces him to take her to the cave to find Trog. Despite living undiscovered in a cave for millennia, it takes Brockton and Travers about five minutes to find and photograph Trog.It doesn't take much to provoke Trog out of his cave, whereupon Crawford shoots him full of tranquilizers ("Hurry! We need a net!") and returns him to her lab. Brockton feeds Trog a bucket of chum consisting of fish and lizards, because he's "not a carnivore" (Maybe he's an omnivore?), and proceed to teach him to play with toys. Joan and Trog bond with the help of a blonde wind-up doll, teach Trog to dance (they know he has good taste because he likes classical music and hates jazz), and teach Trog the colors (he likes blue and hates red). This sounds boring, but you have no idea how mind-numbing seeing Joan Crawford teach a troglodyte the colors can be until you actually see it. She even lets him wear her scarf.Trog has made powerful enemies, though, chief among them Sam Murdock (Michael Gough) who opposes Trog's very existence with a fury that is wholly inexplicable yet provides the central axis of the plot in this film. Murdock tries everything to have Trog put down, including provoking a jealous underling working at the lab to betray Brockton in a subplot that goes nowhere. To foster good psychological development, Brockton, her daughter, and Trog go out on the lawn and play ball. All is well until a neighbor's German Shepard wants a piece of the action and gets more action than he expected from a jealous Trog. Because of the killing in the cave and killing the dog, a Court of Inquiry is launched, with Brockton on one side and Murdock and company on the other. The judge gives Brockton total responsibility for Trog and community safety, and adjourns the proceedings over Murdock's increasingly annoying outbursts.Scientists from around the world come to help with the Trog research, and a lot of pseudo-Darwinian mumbo jumbo is bantered about. Finally they perform two surgeries on Trog, one of which will allow him to speak. He is an extremely cooperative post-op patient, especially considering the band on his head which makes him have extremely long red and blue-tinted flashbacks of dinosaurs he used to know. While I made reference to "Land of the Lost" earlier, these stop-motion dinosaurs are not nearly as realistic as that series.Eventually because he can't get satisfaction via the courts, Murdock takes matters into his own hands one night by knocking the night watchman unconscious, taking his keys, ransacking the lab, and unlocking Trog's cage, in an effort to frame Trog. (How was this supposed to work exactly? Murdock threw the padlock away, and Trog would have had no way to get the keys to let himself out as the guard's station is outside the building.) Murdock is feeling pretty smug about his handiwork, so he is completely surprised to find Trog waiting for him at his car. Trog kills Murdock, and everyone is relieved because they were tired of his prattling on about putting Trog down. Despite the extremely exciting events of the evening, Trog takes about ten steps into the forest and goes to sleep. Sometimes life parallels art, because I was almost asleep too.The police get involved in a massive manhunt (Troghunt?) the next morning. While they are mucking about in the woods, Trog heads straight for the village, where he wanders the peaceful streets without opposition. He fancies a fruit stand, and when challenged as a shoplifter, kills the grocer. The butcher in the next store attacks Trog with a cleaver, and in turn winds up on a meat hook. The next step will be obvious to fans of B-movies: Trog heads for the children's playground. He promptly intercepts a blonde girl on the slide, who reminds him of the wind-up doll. She passes out from fright, and I wish Brockton would come along and put a tranquilizer dart in the hysterically overacting mother as well. Trog wanders around carrying her through woods and caves, while police intentionally bring the hysterical mother to the cave stakeout just so they can restrain her and take her away again. (I don't get it either.)Brockton goes into Trog's cave over protests from the Army and reasons with Trog to give her the girl. Trog is a quick learner as he has no problem understanding English perfectly, and hands the child to Brockton. If I were the child I would have been less scared of Trog, especially after seeing Brockton yell. Brockton returns the child from the cave, and the Army invades Trog's hideout. They pump hundreds of rounds into him, but that doesn't kill him. He dies only after falling and impaling himself on a stalagmite."Trog" is a hilariously inept movie, and was a sad end to Crawford's career. Ridiculed by critics and the public alike, it sealed her fate as an actress, serving as a campy capstone to her career. For fans of bad movies, though, "Trog" is a film of sheer wonderment: hilarious, pretentious, and completely implausible: in other words perfect to laugh at. I recommend it highly to those who are so inclined.

What a collection! I would probably not buy any one of these DVDs separately, but as a set at about $9 each on Amazon, who could resist?!? You get Joan Crawford's final film, "Trog" (1970), Lana Turner's psychedelic camp classic "The Big Cube" (1969), and the best of the bunch, "Caged" (1950)."Trog" is probably the worst of the bunch, but still lots of fun. What a great movie to watch like Mystery Science Theater and have your guests make commentary! The movie starts out in a cheap set representing a cave; 3 young students go exploring and find Trog, the missing link, who was once frozen but is now reanimated. This is why he has been able to survive so long. Somehow, these boys are able to swim practically naked in frigid waters (the realistic ice crystals in the cave tell us it's cold!) to get to Trog without so much as a shiver or any sign of hypothermia. You must leave all reason behind if you decide to watch this film. After Trog attackes the boys, 2 escape are under the care of noted anthropologist, Dr. Brockton (Joan Crawford). She decides to study Trog and try to "train" him to be more human and makes startling progress, however, she is thwarted by (you guessed it) the evil religious bigot Sam Murdock (Michael Gough). Naturally science and religion don't mix in this movie and a final showdown is inevitable. The costuming of Trog is probably the most laughable element here; it looks like a bad costume at a Halloween fraternity party. Although the film is high in the corn factor, you have to hand it to Joan Crawford. Not once do you ever get the impression that she is being lazy about her role. She is the one solid thing about this film, which makes it even sadder since this was her last movie. What a sad swansong...but she was a true professional to the end. A theatrical trailer is included here."The Big Cube" stars screen glamour queen Lana Turner. Although not her last film, she was past her days as a box office star and had already begun accepting a few low-quality roles. This one is slightly-less laughable than "Trog." Lana plays Adriana Roman, an actress who has retired to marry wealthy Charles Winthrop (Dan O'Herlihy). Charles also has beautiful daughter, Lisa (Karin Mossberg), who inexplicably speaks with a Swedish accent. Lisa has unknowingly fallen in with a bad crowd that party and use LSD; the ringleader, Johnny (George Chakiris), sees Lisa as his new bankroll and begins to romance her. When Adriana & Charles have an accident at sea, the widowed Adriana is left as the one who must decide whether Lisa gets her inheritance or not. Since Lisa has chosen to be with a druggie, Adriana turns her down. Johnny attempts to gaslight Adriana with LSD. You'll have to watch to find out the chilling conclusion! Again, so much is laughable here like Trog, but Lana is a trooper and does the best that she can with this campy story and poor script. It is amazing what a great cast this movie has, too; Oscar winner Chakiris ("West Side Story"), Oscar nominated Turner, Richard Egan, and Dan O'Herlihy (who had played Turner's love interest in "Imitation of Life"). Apparently the majority of the budget went to the stars salaries and not the script. And let's not forget Pamela Rodgers as Bibi, the bimbo fun-loving friend of Lisa. Pamela went on to bigger fame in the hit TV series "Laugh-In." The psychedelic effects are fab, too, and there's plenty of drugs, sex (well, as much as is allowed in 1968), and rock and roll music (or something like it) to make this one the hit of a trashy movie party! A theatrical trailer is also included."Caged" almost doesn't fit here; although some parts are a little dated and campy, the majority of this film is quite serious with a number of standout performances. Eleanor Parker is Marie Allen, a 19 year old who was somewhat innocently involved in her husband's botched armed robbery attempt (he is killed). Marie is sentenced to prison and mixed in with a lot of hardened criminals, an evil corrupt matron (Hope Emerson), and a few loonies to boot. It also turns out that Marie is pregnant; what a place to have a baby! Ruth Benton (Agnes Moorehead) runs the facility, and understands that mixing first-time offenders with hardened criminals is a bad formula; however, all of her attempts to improve the system fall on the deaf ears of the Board of Directors who only look at dollars and cents and have no desire to fix the system. Eleanor Parker gives a standout performance as Marie; watching her go from a scared naive girl to a hardened prisoner is amazing...at first it's difficult to believe that Parker could have been cast as the evil Baroness in "The Sound of Music," but watching her performance and transformation, it is not difficult to understand what a talented actress she was. Both Parker and Emerson were nominated for Oscars for this film (as was the script). Moorehead, Ellen Corby, Jane Darwell, and Betty Garden also give standout performances. Don't look for a happy ending; this film doesn't have one. It is meant to be a condemnation of the prison system at the time and this film does not go easy on its topic. As with the other 2, there is a theatrical trailer included.Overall, this is a great set at a great price. "Caged" is definitely the best of the three, and it's too bad there aren't more extras with it, as it truly is an enjoyable (if somewhat depressing) movie. The picture quality on all three is very good; "Caged" is in black and white, but the other two are in color. Warners has definitely used good sources for all three films.

Great old movie-I had seen in the 70"s.

Joan Crawford wants to learn from and make Trog civilized whilst Michael Gough spends the whole film trying to have him put down. So it all goes wrong when the outraged Mr.Gough takes the law into his own hands and breaks into the lab holding Trog. The titular character escapes,kills two shopkeepers in a scene that is a little gory & shocking before typical ending for this kind of monster movie. A very good print of an overlooked minor gem if you don't nod off,as slow paced. Not for modern audiences but a good curiosity.

So here you have Joan Crawford,(in her last movie role), with a killer stoneage caveman, Lana Turner being terrorised by "youngsters" who are trying to make her go mad by feeding her LSD and Eleanor Parker as the first time petty crook being thrown into a prison with sadistic wardens and psycho inmates. What more could you want fo an enjoyable night at home? To be honest, they are actually a lot better than I am making them sound here, especially Caged and not only that but as I have found with most Region 1 discs from Warner Brothers, they play just as well on UK region 2 dvd players