The Myth Of The Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate

Oftentimes, we, women, tend to sabotage our own message by watering down our value so that we're not perceived as rude and arrogant. And so, we're sorry... How many times we hear, you're "overreacting", "too sensitive", "don't take it personally", "too emotional". On the contrary, if you're blunt honest and speak succinctly, you're an abrasive bitch. How to find this balance and not be either one or another? I worked with Fran Hauser for a decade in a very large and complicated organization where not one single person ever thought she was neither weak nor evildoer or villain while watching her rapid growth in business. She "killed them" with kindness, generosity, principles, and standards she set for herself and lived up to them, every day, every minute. This book is a signature collection of guiding principles that will help you reach entirely different heights in your business, the company you work for, or your relationships. In short, this book is the best piece of reading I have ever discovered after Dale Carnegie in terms of how to be successful, happy and make a lot of friends. The transformation will begin within and you will never have to apologize again. Give yourself this fantastic gift - you will never regret it.

What an important and powerful message to professional women that it is possible to be strong and successful while being nice. This book is packed with interesting stats and a ton of real-world examples making the advice insightful yet practical. Each chapter was like its own lesson, filled with real experiences and specific tips that are easy to pull out and start applying.A few highlights:• Fran highlights the importance of relationships that are built on a foundation of trust. “When you are creating opportunities, it’s essential to find the key stakeholders and bring them along with you. Make them a part of the process. By making it clear that you are looking to collaborate instead of compete, you’ll earn their trust and their respect.”• Look out for speech weakeners…i.e. don’t say “sorry” for no reason.• Develop evidence-based confidence to improve your ability to make difficult decisions• Set boundaries and spend your time wisely. Fran “performs an airplane view” where she looks at her calendar for the upcoming week to ensure her meetings, calls, etc. align to her priorities (both personal and professional) and when they don’t, she adjusts as needed. Fran also provides great tips for how to say “no” while maintaining strong relationships.This is an absolute must-read for women at all levels. My only wish is that I had this book earlier in my career!

This book is the wake up call that many women need to have!How many times have you been told to stop being 'nice' and to put on the tough girl facade to get further ahead in your professional life? But have you ever considered there may be another path than this hard line approach? Fran Hauser's 'The Myth of the Nice Girl' explains the value of being authentically nice using case studies and examples from her own impressive career to guide you on how to embrace your kindness and most importantly that "Kindness starts with you".For so long women have been influenced by the stories of many powerful women and how they rose to the top of their careers by being unapologetically assertive to get where they are. When you read this book you will find yourself remembering all the women you have ever worked with, especially those who were your boss, and be able to pinpoint those that were using the hard line approach vs. being authentically nice -- then decide for yourself what you think was effective, what wasn't, and how lucky you are to be learning these important techniques detailed in Fran's book now rather than later.Whether you are already a nice girl or someone that needs that wake up call "to stop leaving your kind and nurturing self at the door... and to start honoring your capacity for connection and relationships", do yourself a favor and order a copy for your yourself and then gift one to a special woman in your life.

I bought it on May 3, 2019. I still read it over and over even now in June 2020.I HIGHLY recommend this book!!!! This book is a beautiful art. There are 9 chapters in this book. There is a summary (key takeaway) at the end of each chapter. The power of kindness and leadership is demonstrated very well in this book. I love chapter 3 (named “Speak up assertively and nicely), chapter 8 (named “Set boundaries and be caring”).All girls should read this book. The writer points out some realities about gender inequality in this book via her stories and others. She also suggests some nice and practical solutions along with how to talk or discuss it in an appropriate way.Bullying at work is also discussed in chapter 3. Gender wage gap is discussed in chapter 7.Some favorite things I learned from the book:“A kind no is always possible and always better than no answer at all.” (Page 165 - chapter 8)“It is important to look at how you’re being treated compared to your peers. If you’re being asked to “pitch in” or “do a favor” more often than they are, you want to make sure you’re not being taken advantage of.” (Page 153 - chapter 8).“A mentor is a source of guidance, not a decision-maker for you...A mentor is objective, not someone who’s personally invested in your decisions.” (Page 182 - chapter 9).

Found this a great 'go to' handbook for managers who have a conscience about how they manage their staff and want the best for themselves and their staff. So reassuring to read this for my personality type- introvert, avoids conflict and not pushy but loyal, dedicated and hard working.

Very easy and relatable. Good to be reminded that being nice is not a bad thing, but a powerful trait.

Thank you Fran Hauser for shedding light on this topic and sharing your experiences with your readers. As a young women just over 5 years into my career I found this book extremely insightful and inspiring. I loved that there were 'Key Takeaways' at the end of each chapter, these were great reminders of what you can take with you into your everyday life at work. I have read many books geared towards women in business but I have never recommended a book more then 'The Myth of the Nice Girl'. After reading the book I found that so many of my peers were struggling with many of the topics Fran explores in the book including, the fear of becoming a people pleaser, negotiating for what you deserve and the hurdles of networking. I hope these women get as much out of it as I did. I will continue to recommend this book as I feel it will be a game changer for many women working towards building a successful careers.

Read this as part of a book club and absolutely loved it. Great tips and actionable items for anyone at any stage in their career. Highly recommend.

The first half of this book was very strong, as was the chapter about negotiations, which was towards the end. A good investment.