Gerald Genta Arena Tourbillon Men's Automatic Watch ATR-Y-75-913-CN-BD

I don't know how to read it, but it looks nice. A little pricey.

This is a stunning time piece. If you read carefully on Amazon's description, you will see there is an option to have the most magnificent breasts appear on the face of the time piece whenever you happen to glance at the face. I'm not sure what black magic they use to make this happen, or how many child laborers they used to construct this fine piece of human creation, but I would like to take a moment to salute the designer of this fine masterpiece.

If it is true, then it is the WATCH! I heard it talks to you and it sings like Whitney H. I heard it has a hologram affect where you can watch a movie anywhere. I heard it controls the weather and it comes with 100 trips to wherever you wanna go in the world (with free hotels, food, and tour all over). This are great offers...if only it comes with a Super model to_ _ _ _ (use your imagination)! I guess I will pass this time and for now I will settle with wearing my Fossil watch that cost me 80 bucks. Ahh...to bad!

Okay, so I was reading one of my famous leather-bound books, as I touch the rich texture of the pages, I noticed that cheap Rolex my sister in-law gave me for Christmas stopped working. She is a cheapskate let me tell you, a Rolex for a hard working man who loves his literature is rather insulting. It stopped telling the times, it also had finger prints on the glass. I'm sorry but that is a sign that a watch is cheaply made. They are to be stain proof. Helen, how dare you buy me this wretched thing?! Anyways, I knew that it was time to get a new and more exquisite watch. What did I find on my epic search on the world wide web? I found this beautiful photo of a watch named Gerald. That is a classy name, its close to the masterful writer Fitzgerald, so I could not pass this up, the price of $87,450.00, seemed quite a bargain. It was not quite out of my price range and it also wasn't cheap as those Rolex watches that Helen bought me (Wench!).When I made my purchase, a mysterious man named Rodrico was at my door step, wearing a cheap suit (clearly from Men's Warehouse piff!) had a briefcase a cheap one at that. Anyways, Rodrico opens the briefcase, the inside lights up and I see steam coming out. It was mystical, I was not sure what to make of what I was witnessing. Then, I see Gerald, the watch I had purchased come out. I was captivated at the sight, I thought that I had made a wise purchase. I emphasize on the word "thought" because let me tell you, it was not what I was hoping for. In fact, it ruined my life entirely.When I put the watch on, I noticed that it was not the quality that it claimed to have. First off, I noticed the glass that was put on was completely cheap, I knew it would have a finger print and I would have to bother with cleaning it. Plus it's supposed to be an "automatic watch" oh please, it didn't automatically set the time to Pacific Standard Time. What a bunch of rubbish! I had to set it myself, well, more accurately, my servant H.W. Clifton had the time set. I kept looking at it, really on the fence, H.W. assured me it was a nice watch. That's truly debatable, how I learned the lack of luxury this watch has I will explain in the next paragraph.When I attended a dinner party, hosted by none other than my dear friend, Sheldon Adelson, owner of the most impeccable casinos known to man. He and our other friends were having Cheri by an open fire place, talking about how we spend our money. Sterling bought a helicopter (how original), Sheridan bought a yacht and an ugly one at that, I felt that maybe I can be unique and show Gerald, my new investment. I show them, they laughed! THEY LAUGHED! Sheridan made a snide remark asking "Where did you get that from? Tiffany's?!" All the gentlemen laughed, pointed at me. Only to learn this watch was targeted towards Millionaires, not someone of my high class! PEASANTS! IT WAS TARGETED TO PEASANTS! I was shamed to learn I came in with lack of style. I was castes out due to my terrible investment.So, I ask of you, what is the best kind of watch for a man of my status? Where can I get it? Obviously, I can't trust the internet to get me the luxury I deserve. To add a cherry on top of this horrible sundae, my wife left me due to the embarrassment of me owning Gerald. Gerald has to go, Helen, you can have him.

Before spending $80k+ for a watch, I'd like to see at least 2 photos

I was looking for something to prop up under the corner of my favorite chair on my luxury yacht which had begun to wobble. Luckily, this watch is exactly 13mm thick and did the job perfectly.

I take watch from mail box. I see and give praise. I have urge to defecate. I go to use latrine. I use watch to sanitize my anoos. It clean like magic. Almost like Julius Caesar. Give praise, give praise.

This isn't actually just a watch, it's a meter that helps you tell how rich you are. Every time you donate to the homeless or any type of "good deed" (more like handout ami right?) the strap gets tighter until your hand is severed every time you're a jerk to someone, cutting people off in traffic in your sls class, telling those loser liberals to get a real job, or simply running over a small animal on your way to the company you own to fire Craig even though he just had a baby the watch itself becomes easier to read to tell time. If you can't read this watch you're too poor or liberal for it