In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends. (Mom’s Choice Award Winner)

Well written book for relatives and friends. The author really describes the different emotions, the perspectives of triad members and other scenarios surrounding adoption in a straight-forward and engaging way. It's a terrific tool to educate people on the ins-and-outs of this unique "club" they are about to join. If you're having difficulty getting those in your inner circle to understand the process and the emotions involved, this book can do it for you. It's an easy yet entertaining read, so it's not like you're asking someone to read "War and Peace" on your behalf.

We’re in the process of adoption after years of infertility and pregnancy loss. My family has known but hasn’t been intimately involved. This book sheds SO much light on our journey and how to love our future adopted kiddos. My favorite part is that at the end of every chapter, there is a “What you can do” section giving practical advice to friends and family of an adoptive family. I’ll be buying more to give out for Christmas 🫶🏼

As an adoptive parent, my wife and I have faced a number of questions. Some of them have been great (tell us about her personality) and others have been a bit more harsh, likely unintentional and just fueled by the fact that people outside the process don't have as much exposure to it all as the parents. I have seen critical reviews that the book is too short. But I would argue that the book is just right in length. It does an excellent job of conveying pertinent information about all different types of adoptions. And it accomplishes another purpose in its brevity, that the conversation and education can continue either on your own or by talking to the adoptive parents in a new way. It won't have all the answers, and I suspect that to be the point. Anyway, how could one book have all the answers? Overall: Fantastic! Wish we would of had 10 copies at the outset of adoption and that it would be mandated reading for those looking to adopt!!

I've never written an Amazon review before and I'm an Amazon Prime fanatic! I just have to say this book was incredibly eye opening for us at the beginning of our journey (we read it as perspective adoptive parents). I ended up getting copies for my parents and my in-laws as well. If you're trying to decide whether to buy this book, just do it! It's a quick and easy read, really informative, and overall helpful for those in the adoption process and family. Can't speak of it highly enough!

I am preparing to teach a breakout session at an adoption retreat about how to choose resource books for adoptive family libraries. I reviewed this book to find out if I wanted to include it in my list of recommended books. Overall, I like the idea of this book a lot! It offer GREAT points that I feel would have been helpful to share with my own family before we adopted two of our children. We've gotten several difficult comments in front of our children, or have had extended family over share because they just didn't know what's appropriate (and we should have told them). It hits on some more difficult topics, like addressing inappropriate questions, especially when asked in front of children. I also like how O'Toole helps to equip relatives and friends to answer adoption-related questions, making sure to be sensitive to the family and child's story. Although the book does touch on attachment and cocooning, I was hoping for more information about why adoptive parents often choose to "shelter" (cocoon) their new child for extended periods of time from other adults and even children. This can be difficult to understand for many people, and I think a few more pages about attachment and bonding would have been helpful. The other topic I was hoping to see but was missed was the effects of trauma, neglect, and abuse on the brain. Even children who were adopted at birth experience trauma, and many children who are adopted spend years in very neglectful, traumatic orphanages. This is very real for many adoptive families and needs to be discussed with relatives and close friends, because it can certainly affect the way we parent and discipline our children. Other than that, 4 stars for awesome content. I'll definitely be suggesting that families refer to this book for the relatives and friends!

Love this book. It's a quick read with lots of useful information. My husband and I are adopting, and looking for a good resource for our family (especially the grandparents). This book presents several different perspectives, and offers families real advice (allow time to grieve just like the adoptive parents may have, specific questions to ask to be involved, and pragmatic info about different adoption processes). I think this is a must read if your family or friends are adopting and you are looking to learn more about the process. Also good for adoptive parents to read to understand what their family might be feeling or wondering.

My husband and I are in the home study phase of adoption and already we’ve had a lot of questions from family and interesting conversations that make it apparent that, naturally, they don’t know as much about modern adoption as we do, nor what to expect (makes sense…we have been researching and thinking about this for quite some time!). I read this book cover to cover in for days, highlighted parts that resonated with me and even added a few notes here and there. I very much look forward to sharing it first with my mother, then mother-in-law and we’ll see from there. Great read and resource. Thank you to the author!

Just what I wanted,explained everything what I needed to know.

In on it is a great addition to your library - whether you are adopting or are part of the extended family/friends of someone adopting, this book is a great resource. It summarizes all the essential points within adoption in an easy to read format. This book is hands-on and practical. It's great to have said by someone else what you would like to say to your family and friends about adoption! It is a must read for anyone in the larger adoption circle!

Unfortunately alot of information is aimed at USA adoptions not rlevant in this country. I have since bought a book from Adoption UK direct only £3.99 written by a child which is perfect for family members. This book is very long winded and not ideal. Only shared it with one friend who i know loves reading!

Fast read but very informative.

Great book