Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition Paperback – June 15, 2012

I have already posted a review of the original version of "Emotional Vampires" that has helped at least one person in their purchasing decision. Now, with regard to the revised and expanded Second Edition, I also give it 5 stars and encourage anyone who finds themselves navigating the shark-infested waters of living with/working with/associating with a person afflicted with a personality disorder to order it right away and study it like a Talmudic scholar.Which version should you buy? Buy the original version if you are just starting out in learning about personality disorders. The original version is written for the novice, and shows each personality type defined and described to perfection. Dr. Bernstein will give you tips at the end of each personality type for dealing with their tantrums, tirades, schemes, alternate states of reality, hypnosis, paranoid delusions, aloofness, passive-aggressive assaults, and eyebrow-raising verbal cues.However, if you already have some experience diagnosing personality disorders and want a more in-depth look, then I encourage you to get the Second Edition. Here you will find a wealth of information on drama queens, bullies, control freaks, daredevils, used car salesmen (not the actual, but maybe also the actual), lovable rogues, gossip queens, the terminally depressed, narcissistic legends, tiger moms, puritans and perfectionists.Whew! The list is long and tiring, but think about it, if you don't have this trusty book hidden underneath your mattress, how could you possibly navigate a world full of Emotional Vampires? And in the age of the Kardashians, Facebook, iphones, botox, Paris Hilton, and Narcissistic politicians in high office, there may be more of THEM than there are of US.

I found this book difficult to take seriously when it relied on stereotypical tropes to explain some chapters. The chapter expressing how women all know what to do with misplaced household items and want them immediately put where they belong and men never think about it at all, really irked me. I couldn't take the author seriously at this point.There are some useful pieces of information in the book re: options to survive dealing with people who display particular types of personality disorders, but overall it was overly generalizing.

I bought this as a gift for someone who is dealing with a difficult boss and ended up reading it myself. Dr. Bernstein has given us a concise guide to five of the most common personality disorders (paranoid, histrionic, antisocial, narcissistic, and obsessive compulsive) that most of us encounter, and suggested ways of coping. The author is a veteran marriage/family counselor who draws on his vast experience to concisely define various personality disorders, how to recognize them, and suggestions for how to deal with their impact in our lives. He chose to equate those who suffer from certain personality disorders with vampires, and carries that analogy throughout the book. Despite the cutesy vampire references, the book is well written and contains a wealth of information. This book is for you if you must deal with one of those people who consistently leaves you totally drained emotionally and asking yourself, "Why do they DO that?" You might find some answers here.

It kind of reminds me of Linda Goodman's Sun Signs and I feel like it's easy to indulge one's narcissistic side the same way with this book, which seems counter productive. It's almost like a scientific twist on the personality obsession phenomena. I also think it paints very 2 dimensional pictures of people and I am skeptical of how useful that is, although I can think of some very 2 dimensional people I know so perhaps I am giving others too much credit. I think it's partly me, I bought this book because it offers an alternative to the narcissist hysteria that has gripped society and isn't dehumanizing but I think in reality I am much too angry on the inside for this cutesy personality differences approach. This might have been a good book 20 years ago but I've already given up on my vampires. I feel like it's a 3.5 stars but I'm giving it the extra half star because I think the advice and course of action in dealing with others might be it's saving grace, but I won't be able to test it. Also, I don't strongly believe in a one size fits all approach but I guess that's what self help books are so.

Genre: Self-HelpAudience: Two groups: 1. people who don't understand certain other people's behavior and 2. people who feel emotionally drainedStyle: Fairly entertaining and a tad lurid for a self-help book. However it reinforces the point of how over-the-top bad EV's can beOne of the best books about dealing with people in the workplace and things like church groups or HOAs or social clubs that I've ever seen. If, like many people, you feel there is something off in the dynamic of some group of people you're part of - this book could literally save your sanity!

I’d give this 10 stars if I could! Helpful in dealing with difficult people or people you love, but can’t help them anymore , Enlightening and actually a very fun read. Bought for myself and many for friends when things go “pear shaped” and you just don’t understand some people and why some of them can drain you dry of emotion, no matter what you say or do. Most importantly, how to recognize the various personalities who may have, in the past, charmed, beguiled, interested and intrigued you, but ultimately drained you dry by a series of manipulation you never saw coming until it was too late and it just didn’t end well. We all carry many of these emotional traits ourselves, but in small doses. it’s what makes each person different and dynamic. It’s only when the real “Emotional Vampires” seize on one or two of these manipulations and make you the “host” for their needs. ...Whew! You’ll be glad you read this for both personal AND business reasons. “They” are out there!!

Very good book about difficult people. Also very humorous, thank god, as these people an be very destructive!! It’s been helpful to lighten up. Having come unstuck with one of these personality types. I was left with a serious problem. Finally when I shared my concerns with a mutual friend, they just said “ narcissist” . The scales fell. Also they said it’s a near certainty that if you have a lot difficultly with someone, that others will too.These personalities are master manipulators. The best advice, don’t try and reason or explain why their behaviour is unacceptable or how it impacts you. I made this mistake before reading the book - if you do this , warning - stand back and watch the missile being launched and missile could be in commission for months.These people see you as a vassal for their needs and wants. It’s all very lovely when you supply that, but if you don’t, watch the **** hit the fan.Anyway, thanks to the advice in this book, the situation is much better now. It is still difficult , but much better.Finally I encountered, one of these personality types last week in a workshop situation. It was so much easier to handle with the information in this book.Thank Dr B !!

The author doesn't spend time speculating about what causes "vampires" to be this way, but instead focuses on practical solutions on how to deal with them.The tactics for dealing with such people are entirely practical and the underlying theory is accessible but also robust in terms of knowledge shown about the background and history of a diverse range of psychologies. I would recommend it if you are struggling to deal with 'difficult' people in your life.

This book takes a serious subject and lightens it enough to make it readable by the non-psychologist. It's extremely well-written, categorising and describing in detail the various types of behaviour in emotionally disturbed people, and how you can deal with and survive it, including advice on when to walk away. It warns against getting embroiled in trying to 'cure' such people, but does shows you how to recognise and cure those same traits within yourself. I found it of enormous benefit in dealing with a very difficult, but key, client, and emerged from the whole encounter relatively unscathed. I gained a much deeper insight into what makes narcissists and other emotional 'vampires' tick, and how their 'desirable attributes' and 'faults' are actually the two sides of the same coin.

Don't be put off by the hokey title - this is a very interesting and useful read. I learned a lot about how to deal with 'challenging' relationships in my personal and professional life. I also recognized myself as one of these'vampires' and resolved to try to be a better person. The tactics for dealing with such people are entirely practical and the underlying theory is accessible but also robust in terms of knowledge shown about the background and history of a diverse range of psychologies. I would recommend it if you are struggling to deal with 'difficult' people in your life and trying to better manage your own idiosyncracies.

Quite basic, gives insight into interpersonal dynamics and problematic personalities.