Big Maria Paperback – September 25, 2012

This is not a story for the faint-hearted or those who like strong, prototypical heroes! In fact, this is a story of losers trying to break out of their loser mold and achieve greatness...well, at least, mediocrity. The lead character, Harry, is a drunk on a nebulous disability claim who spends his time getting beat up and urinating or puking on himeslf. Frank is an old-time dying of cancer and Ricky is the young kid who fell on hard times after a bus accident turns his life upside down. In the course of their tawdry lives, a rumor about gold in Arizona's Chocolate mountains gives the trio new hope and a mission. The story is all about them trying to get the gold -- but the problem is the map to the gold lies at the bottom of a resevevoir and the mine itself is now home to a live military artillery range. Big Maria is the gold mine.The story is well-written and engaging, though you may not care for the vivid descriptions of the bodily fluids, the beatings or the settings. Very few of the characters are decent human beings though they all try. There is humor and the events that occur are sometimes downright funny -- the characters stand out as unique but not comically so. We'll all recognize some elements within these losers. The plot keeps you entertained and interested, with casual twists and turns that keep you wanting more but don't throw you off track.This is not a conventional story but one well worth the 4.99 -- so much so that I bought Johnny Shaw's other book as well. Enjoy.

Meet three lovable losers with nothing left to lose:Harry - spends most of his time either drunk or hungover, and seems to be a magnet for bad luckRicky - has messed up badly and wants to win back the respect of his wife and daughterFrank - an older man with not much time left, is bored with waiting around for death to find himFrank's the fellow with the most common sense and also something of a "father figure" for the first two. BUT, before you go gettin' that Ozzie Nelson vibe, know that Frank will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep Harry and Ricky in line and focused on the prize...which just happens to be a forgotten gold mine.The fact that said gold mine is now located within the confines of the US Army Proving Ground?Details. Mere details.So off these fellows go, on a very bumpy, and very funny, quest for fortune and treasure. In front of them? Guys with guns, choppers and tanks. Behind them? Harry's scary daughter, Mercedes. Forget 'pitbull with lipstick'...she's a rhino with a perm, and she'll do WHATEVER IT TAKES to protect her father, and basically keep him from having any fun.This book is a comedy of misadventures with likable characters, great dialogue, hilarious situations, and oh, yeah - donkeys. Sounds like a winner to me.

So I was in my bed, recovering from my hip replacement and wanted something to read. Didn't want SF. Didn't want Horror. Didn't want Fantasy or Military fiction.Crime fiction popped into my head. Now, I had read Johnny Shaw's Dove Season and Plaster City and while those books were entertaining, they didn't' leave me rushing out to pick up the next one. But... I was bored, taking regulated shots of morphine to kill post-surgery pain, and thought what the hell. Maybe Shaw's got something else.And he did.He had Big Maria. Just waiting.A writer has only a click to draw in a reader. Shaw knows this and so when he lay down that opening scene of a drunk waking up in a toilet stall, well, I was hooked. More than hooked. This was my kind of literature.If you enjoy crime flicks like "Snatch," "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels," "Get Shorty" then Big Maria might very well be for you. Seriously. Shaw has moments in here of pure genius. His three main characters are ones I wish I'd thought of, and the supporting cast generated just as many snorts and giggles as a whiff of chuckle gas. There are scenes that scream cinematic adaption, and maybe, just maybe, that might become reality.Read this in two very merry days in between sessions of physical therapy.No painkillers needed.

I'm struggling with the few poor reviews for this novel. Yes, this book has some crude parts (it opens a bit too crude for my tastes but settles in just fine) and a bit of blue language. But to say that the book derives all of its humor from crudeness and "shocking" language is unfair and a disservice to those looking for a legitimately fun and funny book. I know rural California well. I grew up there. While the plot may stumble into far-fetched every now and then, the dialogue is true and faithful to a vast collection of people kicking dust around the backwaters. If you've not met people who employ that kind of language then I'm going to guess that you've been to too many parties where folks tie their sweaters around their necks. And as to the far fetched plot, well, life itself can occasionally be far-fetched. Let go a little. Jeez. Lighten up. Let me put it this way, if you are among the subset of people who like to read AND have fixed something with baling wire and duct tape AND enjoy a couple beers with friends AND enjoy laughing...this book is most definitely for you. Not that you have to meet those criteria to enjoy it, but if you do you can't go wrong. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't note that the book actually does have a heart. Johnny Shaw can really write.

Shaw takes three characters, already three-time losers straight from a Tom Waites lyric, gives them tribulations that would break a saint, grinds them down a little more and then releases them on a quest for riches. The guys live in a world that's both literally and metaphorically on the edge of the desert, populated almost entirely by people similarly close to the edge, and for a time it's unclear whether they're going to be able to pull themselves back. The situations at the start are so harsh that it seems possible that the characters will destroy themselves through pure ill judgement and bad luck, however, there comes a point where they gain a purpose and from then on it's an easier ride.It's true that this has possibly the most revolting opening of any novel, which finds our lead protagonist literally caught with his pants down. It's also true that the plot is as clunky as a wooden leg, and if you haven't figured out the end once you've read the first third then you really haven't been paying attention, but that same plot tumbles rapidly and entertainingly along with the insane internal logic of a Carl Hiassen novel. The dialogue is crisp, foul and funny - laugh out loud funny on a number of occasions. The violence is unflinching and not for the faint hearted.If you like the caper novels of Elmore Leonard, and can stomach major league foulness and Tarantino-esque levels of violence, take a hike to the Big Maria. You might enjoy it.

As other reviewers have commented, this is not a story for the faint-hearted. This is a story of losers trying to break out of their loser mould and in search of gold. The lead character, Harry, is a drunk on disability claim who spends his time getting beaten up. Frank is an old-timer dying of cancer and Ricky is the young kid who fell on hard times after a bus accident turns his life upside down. In the course of their tawdry lives, they come to together to find gold in the middle of the world's biggest firing range.The first 20 pages or don't make for pleasant reading, too much detail about bodily functions, but if you stick with it the story takes off. It's an amusing book, not in a laugh out loud way, but it is an entertaining read, with a couple of twists thrown in to keep the story interesting.

One of the few books i liked. When I started reading, I read only a few pages and keft it a side thinking it's boring but after some time picked up again and then got lost in it's interesting story. The three friends with one thing in common that they were determined and never tried to cheat any other which is a thing of imagination in this cruel world. I was bit sad how Frank passed away, he should have made back to the town but still story is awesome. Unlimited thanks to Johnny Shaw for his brilliant effort for us all as readers.

Awesome - new author for me, don't normally stray outside crime and cop stuff but seriously, what a brilliant, gripping novel, 3 protagonists who are not your normal heroes, two are old and f*&^ck(*&d and there is plenty of humour, a hunt for buried gold and that's all I am going to say about it but I learned a heck of a lot about Indian tribes, gold hunting equipment and life on the border....well done Mr Shaw, you kept a butterfly brain night worker hooked from the getgo, a fab read, I actually read your novel with a genuine lust for the next page and I am going to force everyone I know in the UK to read your novel!!!!!

I am clearly not amongst the target audience for this book as I found it completely excruciating to read. In fact I got through the first quarter and then skipped to the end. A bunch of awful characters I couldn't care less about in a contrived, totally inconceivable and implausible plot......told at a snail's pace. Very nasty, not recommended and I regret spending 99p on this after reading others' reviews (and I will be a lot more skeptical about other reviews in future).