THE STATE OF AFFAIRS

If you have heard Esther Perel’s talks then probably one can skip buying this book if you haven’t then it’s worth buying to understand many things about relationships

Good book. Gives a more open perspective on what infidelity truly is in all it's forms. Though I don't agree with all the points in the book but nevertheless it's a great guide on picking tips on how to keep your relationship thriving in the long term.

This is the most insightful book, ever, about affairs and how we can heal from them. It offers excellent strategies but it also offers much needed explanations of the human psyche.

Esther Perel uses the combination of just the right words with interesting case studies and the latest research which is eye opening. It's a gem of a book and it definitely requires more than one reading.

Just read it- everything from Esther is amazing, and maybe this book the most.

Bonito diseño

It's a brilliant book. It puts an apparently old topic in a new light aligned with our zapping world. Esther Perel has an incredible ability to talk about dark desires, ambivalent feelings and fast lives with tender words and deep comprehension. Watch her 2 TED talks then read the book. This book is about infidelity, love, desire, society and about the world we live in.

This book written by a psychotherapist and counsellor who has worked with couples will be of interest to anyone interested in relationships. It is also well written with an good narrative flow. At the beginning of the book Esther Peel looks at the conventional wisdom on partnerships and marriages and fidelity in them. She points out that in Western society there are strong views that partners in these are expected to stay loyal to each other, with out straying elsewhere for intimacy and sex. She does not appear to have problems with this per se, but points out there are many divergences form this path. It is human nature to transgress boundaries, even if this is painful. What follows are a large number of accounts of cases she has encountered. This includes infidelity in conventional marriages, both homo- and hetro- sexual partnerships, open relationships (where issues of infidelity can crop up despite there being a permission to find additional partnerships) as well as ones that insist on monogamy. She looks also at issues of betrayal, the pain of discovery of an affair, how some affairs may save people from bad partnerships and also how that affairs may sometimes (paradoxically?) even save and strengthen relationships. Perel also looks at the various kind of people involved, apparently settled people, those who prefer to have affairs rather than stay in a single one. All in all the range of people discussed here is wide. Perel's aim is not to discredit monogamy, but to suggest what is needed is a little more space for people in their situations to work through. At one point in the narrative she ponders on the general state of knowledge around human sexuality. As she states it is limited. This book contributes to expanding that space a little more. An enlightening read.

This book helped me understand both sides of the coin. It is written outstandingly, without any judgment and really opening a conversation about the taboo that affairs are. I can only recommend it to couples, also if you're not going through something like this, you still can take a lot from it.