Back When We Were Grownups: A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle)

I probably wouldn't have selected this book on my own. It was the selection of my book discussion group. Yet, I am so very glad I read it. Anne Tyler is such a gifted, thoughtful writer I knew it wouldn't be a bad read, but as a book based on characterization, not action, it got off to a slow start. I would read a little, put it down, do other things, find a quiet moment and pick it up again. It isn't a page turner that will suck you in; which you can't put down because you need to see what happens next. Slowly you get to know Rebecca Davitch and her extended family. There are no perfect people here. They are real people with all their flaws, faults, senseless squabbles, doubts, hopes and over it all their love for each other. It is a story of an imperfect family and the middle-aged, overweight woman who is their loving heart. It is a story of mid-life crisis, of redicovery and of hope. Back When We Were Grownups is a thought provoking book full of wonderful insights. I started this book full of doubts about whether I would enjoy it. I put it down sorry to see it end. That's what I love about our discussion group. I read books I would never have picked on my own, often to my delight. If you are looking for a book full of action and adventure, full of beautiful people who always make the right choices, well save this book for a time when you desire something a bit more thoughful and thought provoking. This is a book as satisfying and filling as a homecooked meal, unpretentious, but at its core more gratifying than the most elaborate gourmet fare. A book you will find yourself thinking back on, long after you close the cover.

I've long loved Anne Tyler's books, enjoy the Baltimore setting and her finely tuned characterizations. So when I read the first chapter excerpt, I just had to read the whole book. Here I am, 54, rethinking my life, trying to figure out how to proceed, how to change some things to make the next few years more rewarding, needing some gentle, impartial adult guidance, absent of cliches. This could be my story, or at least I could get a couple of pointers on how to behave if I return to school or take some other course of action. Don't get this book for this reason, unless you want confirmation that you've already done the best you could, that you just need an attitude change. As for pulling the reader into a well told life, it's exquisite, very well written, with very interesting characters.

As the rating indicates, this book is okay. It's a sweet little story, however, I wouldn't classify it as a "must read" or even one I would recommend to friends. I would read it if it were given to me but would certainly not buy it again. A nice little break from a page-turner that one cannot put down, because this one can definitely be put down and gone back to at one's leisure.

Rebecca, long widowed, is fifty-three years old. She lives in a big old Baltimore row house, grand on the outside and lovely when decorated for parties, if you don't look too closely. Her husband died years ago, only six years after he married her and made her stepmother to his three daughters. Now she runs the family party business and cares for her elderly uncle-in-law. Everyone takes her for granted and she is very good at putting on a cheerful false front, whether mediating family squabbles or encouraging fellowship at parties or gatherings. She's dependable, cheery, and hard-working. But she's tired of being taken for granted. When she renews friendship with her old high school boyfriend, she has a chance to go back in time (in her mind) and reconsider where she has ended up. Is it good? Is she happy? Is the person she is now the real Rebecca, or has she been shaping herself this way for so long, to accommodate the needs of others, that she's become merely a useful tool? Would there have been another version of herself that would have lived a "real" life, had Joe not come along and married her? Did he marry her to take care of his children and the family business? Of course these questions resonate, and the answer, along with the way Rebecca processes this, is hugely gratifying. I had to go back and reread it, because Anne Tyler is such a good writer and I'm always trying to improve my craft. She does tend to go on sometimes, and her characters are often kooky (remember "The Accidental Tourist" also by her.) But there's a wry and benevolent view of humans in all of her writing, which is gratifying and reassuring. Very much recommended

With her gentle humor and detailed observations, Anne Tyler can paint a family portrait like no other author. The Davitch's -- quarrelsome, moody, and sometimes downright dislikable -- are another of her quirky creations. Rebecca marries into this difficult family when she falls in love with Joe Davitch. She is just twenty and he is in his thirties. When he dies, she is left to care for four children, including three difficult step-daughters. We meet Rebecca in the midst of a full-blown midlife crisis. She wonders how she became this jolly, sociable woman, so adept at handling and helping people. Once she was a quiet, studious girl who cared about history, philosophy, great books. Which person is the real Rebecca? What life is her real life? The feeling of being a stranger in one's own life, of being adrift and off-course in the middle of life, is captured beautifully here. Rebecca is not the most fascinating or brilliant of Anne Tyler's characters, but she is somehow universal. The book moves with her journey to find her real self and live her real life. It is a book that acknowledges darkness, death, loss and grief, and still affirms the wonder of everyday life.

Livre en très bon état, prix très raisonnable, bien emballé et envoyé rapidement. Merci

I find it difficult to write this review without gushing or giving away too much of the story line. So I shall simply say that I have found myself finishing it followed by immediately turning back to page one and starting all over again. What more does one need to say? The only remaining question would be whether to include Ladder of Years as one of the other books.... If I had to expand, I would say that Anne Tyler captures the great joy and humour and overwhelming love and hugeness of life in this story (see, hard not to gush). I could go on about finding these big themes within the minutiae of everyday life with its messy relationships and small misunderstandings and kindnesses, the contrast between Rebecca's reflective inner life and the outer chaos of her business throwing parties, the extraordinary subtlety of the writing and the perfect timing of the humour, but I won't. Find a copy and read it but don't ever pass it along or you will find yourself buying another copy.

Loved it as I do all Anne Tyler's books. Superb.

No one writes characters like Anne Tyler

This is a marvelously crafted novel dealing with a middle-aged woman's present and past relationships and her musings about whether her life might have been better had she made different choices at the age of twenty. When she has the opportunity to follow the path not taken, she comes to a number of realizations that will presumably shape her future. The characters are lifelike and so well portrayed that the reader can picture them as well as their personalities. A great read!