The Nostril Picker

Let's get this out of the way and call this movie "The Changer". The Nostril Picker doesn't really cover what the movie is about. The Changer is a cut above most '80's cheapies because it has a good, fun story. A bum, loser, suddenly has the ability to have the appearance of a teenage girl. He attends the local high school, makes friends, and of course, kills them. It sounds like a bleak, messed up idea, but it's so comedically done, I was having a blast. This isn't really a gore film, aside from a couple of short moments. It's still a fun watch. Oddball cult fanatics should consider this a must own. Massacre Video delivers some good extras as well, though an audio commentary would've been welcome.The Changer stands out in the crowd. Very unique.

I will freely admit to not particularly liking slasher or senseless slaughter movies, but I was so intrigued by the title of "The Nostril Picker" I couldn't look away. Made in Michigan on a shoestring in 1993, and alternatively known as "The Changer" (which is how the title card actually reads on the DVD), this is a sleazy film of mayhem that leaves viewers incredulous that it was ever made. The acting is among the worst I have ever seen in any film, the script is boneheaded, and the production values are essentially nonexistent. I gave it two stars for having such an outlandish title and a modestly creative premise.Joe Bukowski (Carl Zschering) is a lunatic loner who leers at young women. After being released from a mental institution due to lack of space, he wastes his time with an inflatable toy in the most depressing apartment ever seen on film. Ultimately he meets a crazy Vietnam veteran (no stereotyping there...) who teaches him a spell to transmogrify into any person he desires, even a girl. So to get a clearer leer at the local high school girls he changes into Jo Bukowski (Ann Flood), a pretty blonde. Jo goes to school, hangs out in the girl's locker room, watches the girls play tennis, etc. It's all very seedy, vulgar, and unappealing, though nothing is as revolting as the oft-repeated shots of Joe picking his nose. This is the most gratuitous manual digital nostril exploration I have ever seen, but you can't say the filmmakers let the audience down with the quantity and intensity of nostril picking promised by the title. Perhaps two stars is too generous after all; on the other hand one star per nostril seems fair.That Joe begins a homicidal killing spree involving coeds and cutlery is a given. Have no fear those of you who are fainthearted: the blood and violence is extremely ineffectual and could not be hokier. The nasal expulsions are far more terrifying. Every single shot in this film is ugly: ugly locations, an ugly school, and an ugly star. The film stars the oldest high school students seen in years and features the most disturbing assault on a prostitute I can recall (it was an attack "with a plastic thing"...you'll have to watch it to find out the sordid rest of the story.) Don't miss the hilarious police report and yodeling hobby subplots. After an homage to "Psycho" of sorts, the film does close with a good (if predictable) twist ending.The DVD includes some extras like a boring stills gallery, an alternate title card, and some trailers, but the one worth watching is the interview with the producer who, unsurprisingly perhaps, reveals that "we'd never made a movie" before. "The Nostril Picker" is 75 minutes of pure ick, but it seems a lot longer largely due to pacing issues and extremely poor acting and production values. Fans of bad slasher movies or mucus will probably eat this up, but I found it distasteful though occasionally creative beyond expectations or expectorations.

WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS: Do you remember when you read or heard about some film that seemed interesting, only to never be able to find a legal copy of it for years? Then, you finally get your hands on a copy and your anticipation was all for naught because the film sucked harder than a Dyson vacuum cleaner working overtime? Well, that is the case with this film, which I read about in some monster magazine in the late-80's under the more appropriate title of THE CHANGER (Which is actually the on-screen title of this print, but it was available in England for years under the other title for some strange reason, since our protagonist only picks his nose once in the entire film!). This is the first time this film was released on home video in the United States and it's easy to see why, because the whole film screams "amateur hour". This is a badly acted story (some of the "actors" and "actresses" deliver their dialogue like they are reading it off of cue cards for the very first time) about an ugly slob named Joe Bukowski (Carl Zschering, which, not surprisingly, is his only film), who walks around the streets of Michigan (filmed on location) hassling good-looking women (well, at least this film's idea of good-looking) and always getting the cold shoulder. Or he is threatened by the cops for attempted sexual assault. That is until one day he is approached on the street by a bum (Horace Grimm; which describes his acting ability. This is his only film, too) and he offers to teach Joe the art of "morphosynthesis", or the ability to chant and change appearance into anyone he pleases (even a female), if Joe will let him take a swig from his cheap booze bottle (The trick is Joe will always see himself [unless he looks in a mirror or sees his reflection in a window] and everyone else will see him as someone different). The bum tells Joe he learned the chant "in Vietnam from some gook" and the bum says that Joe should pick a song to hum after the chant to make it work and to hum it again to release him from the chant. Frank picks "London Bridge Is Falling Down" to make the chant work (I know. I mean WTF?!?) and the bum also warns him that using the chant "will make you go crazy if you do it too much", so Joe says what the hell and lets the bum take a swig from his bottle. That night, Joe does the chant and then whistles London Bridge, but he sees no change until he walks into an adult book store and the guy behind the counter sees Joe as a young teenage girl and chastises her for being in the store. Realizing that the chant has worked, the lecherous Joe enrolls in an all-girl high school under the name "Josephine", where he can get to see teenage girls naked in the locker room (too bad the viewer doesn't) and do all kinds of things to see the girls in as less clothes as possible (This is the only time we see him pick his nose, as he is sitting behind a desk in a classroom and wipes the booger under the desk). Joe/Josephine makes friends with Brenda Kearn (Aimee Molinaro) and she invites Josephine to come over to her house because her parents will be gone and they can watch "Attack Of The Cannibal Girls" on Horror Showcase on TV. Once he gets to Brenda's house, he goes into the kitchen and hums London Bridge, where he sees himself change from a teenage girl to his slob self in a reflection in the kitchen window. He then cuts off Brenda's fingers with his switchblade and then mutilates her body (cannibalism is implied). The police are baffled, as the coroner stuffs pieces of Brenda's body into a clear plastic bag ("Oh, here are the fingers!"). The next girl Joe/Josephine kills is Tracy Harper (Heidi M. Gregg), whom he butchers in the bushes and we see him eat some of her flesh. One of Josephine's classmates is Jennifer Armstrong (Laura Cummings), who is the daughter of Detective Vince Armstrong (Edward Tanner), who just happens to be in charge of solving the murders. Joe/Josephine picks up a hooker from the streets and brings her back to his apartment, only to discover that the hooker is actually a transvestite (Steven Andrews), so Josephine tries to kill the trannie with a sex toy (!), only for the transvestite to knock Josephine out, where he sees Josephine turn into Joe. The transvestite goes to the police and reports what he has seen, but even though they don't believe him, they still send a couple of detectives to Joe's apartment, but he slams the door in their faces because they don't have a warrant. The bum gets a case of the guilts about what he has done and calls the police, while Joe/Josephine is savagely stabbing schoolgirl Crisi Stroud (Gail Didia) at a baseball field, taking bites out of her flesh. As Joe becomes crazier and crazier, a TV news cameraman gets footage of "Josephine" at one of the murder sites. but the camera never lies and shows Joe instead. Detective Armstrong now knows he has his prime suspect, especially when he reads his extensive yellow sheet and talks to Joe's former psychiatrist, who tells Armstrong that Joe has suicidal tendencies (he once unsuccessfully attempted it) after he killed his mother years ago and ate her body. Joe now goes full-tilt loony tunes, as he sees his mother in his apartment, as well as his three recent blood-soaked victims, who yell out "You b*****d!" in unison. Joe goes out in the streets and slices the throat of the transvestite in retribution and Armstrong and another detective chase him. Detective Armstrong has Joe cornered and we hear a couple of shots ring out. When Detective Armstrong gets home, he sits on Jennifer's bed and we hear him hum London Bridge. He becomes Joe and stabs Jennifer over and over with his switchblade, as her blood squirts all over his face. THE END. If I make any of this sound interesting, I apologize, because this barely feature-length film (76 minutes) is one of the worst acted pieces of tripe I have ever laid my eyes upon (I swear, one of them bled!). It's no wonder this is the only directorial effort of Mark Nowicki (who makes a living digitally color-correcting films and TV shows for DVD and Blu-Ray release, the most famous being the 201 episodes of THE X-FILES [1993 - 2002]), as he has no idea how to transition from scene to scene and all his actors (95% of them which never did any other film) speak in monotone or can plainly be seen looking at the director to see where they should stand. It's also no surprise that this was the only screenplay by Steven Hodge, who had a pretty unusual angle for a horror film, but litters it with so many clichés, it becomes ridiculous. Everything about this film looks like it was done by first-timers, including the sound recording, editing, photography, makeup effects and music, which are all sub par (The ending, where Joe stabs Jennifer, looks like some guy just offscreen is squirting blood into Joe's face and there are white pieces of cardboard covering the names of businesses who didn't want their name on-screen in this stinker.). Waiting 26 years to see this sad excuse for a horror film was a major disappointment and makes me believe some films stay obscure for a reason. Released on DVD by boutique label Massacre Video (who are notorious for releasing their films on "limited" VHS editions and then selling out quickly, where then you see them up for sale on eBay for outrageous prices) in a barely acceptable fullscreen print, which looks to have been taken from Cinevest's (the distributor of the film) video master. I have to wonder why Massacre Video sells this online with the British title, since the print and the other name are much more exploitable (Who wants to see a guy pick his nose? Not me.). It does come with reversible cover art, so I just flipped mine over to show the film's original name. The British title card is offered as an extra, but offers no extra footage and there is a short interview with co-producer Steve Hodge (Mark Nowicki is the other producer), but I couldn't be bothered to watch it since the film was one of the worst I have seen in a long, long time. There's only so much torture a person can take. Do yourself a favor and spend your hard-earned money on another film worthy of watching. Also starring Ann Flood, Clyde Surrell, Bruce Alden, Brian Lauderdale, Vicki Hollis and Joyce Brown. Michigan needs to apologize to everyone who purchased this film. A Massacre Video DVD Release. Not Rated.

One of the greatest movies of the 90's!!!!I remember watching this on cable when I was a kid. It was great then and still great now!!!

This is not a great, or even good, film by any means and I only got it because my best friend has a small role in it. Still, I very much enjoyed it not only to see my friend who has since passed away, but also because it was shot in my hometown so there are a lot of familiar locations that give me a rush of satisfaction every time I see them. This film was made for practically nothing and I give the director a lot of credit. Instead of having very tacky horror effects that he couldn't afford anyway, he does a decent job of evoking the scares through power of suggestion. That alone makes this pretty unique for a film of this type. I understand it's selling well in England, doubt anyone here in the U.S. knows about it. You have to really love this genre to appreciate this film but I do feel it probably serves as a good example to film students as to what can be done with almost nothing.

annother vipco release with bad print and sound,some of it was terrible and up and down sound but thats what you expect with vipco,i still buy them tho.a really weird film abt a man thats seen as a young teen girl who ends up killing all the friends he makes,strange movie that dosent go how you think it will,heavily cut and no nudity at all,still fun tho.

Great film for fans of the old '80s Slasher B Movies. The storyline is strange yet you get the general idea. The sound in places is poor quality too. This film was not made on a high budget but what the director was trying to get across is quite clear. I guess the most disturbing part about this film is that someone came up with the script. Worth a watch though.

Really poor film not even in the so bad it's good category

Uniquely odd.

Bought it for my eldest brother as he loves these old films.