How to Keep House While Drowning: 31 days of compassionate help

I am in the middle of grief, toddler meltdowns, 2nd grade in person school during a pandemic, a husband who travels most of the time and a serious fall into depression. I, like many others, found TikTok during the quarentine and then found Domestic blisters. Hearing the phrase "doing dishes is morally neutral" was a massive wake up call for me. I was so stressed and shamed by the look of my home that I felt like a failure as a wife, mother and adult. I grew up in an immaculately clean home... If my mother could do it, why can't I? I must not be a good mom. KC has helped me move passed that feeling through her content and this book. I highly recommend it if you are getting overwhelmed by life!

I've followed KC Davis on tiktok for a while, so when I found out she had a book I ordered it immediately. I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic health issues. I also have 2 small children and sensory issues. I've tried a lot of housekeeping tips and systems throughout the years but they all rely on willpower and executive function to power through and make yourself follow a system. I simply cannot do that when I'm struggling to just make myself get up, brush my teeth, and feed my kids.KC's gentle tips work off the assumption that you're already doing your best. She never uses shaming language, or expects you to just power through whatever blocks you're facing.She gives compassionate suggestions for making your space more functional for your function level.My house is actually neater than it's ever been for longer than it's ever stayed somewhat neat.My space functions for my family and I'm able to spend time resting and caring for myself and my family without guilt.KC Davis has changed my life. This book is worth every penny. You can also follow her on tiktok (@domesticblisters). I cannot recommend her content enough.

KC Davis genuinely changed my life. As a person with several mental health struggles, I Iived with a lot of shame about care tasks and functioning and often felt paralyzed by them, stuck in a constant state of “not good enough.” Because of KC’s videos and this book, I am living with more kindness and compassion for myself, my space and others than I ever have. And magically, when you remove the moral value from care tasks, they’re actually easier to do. My space and my life is infinitely more functional because of what I’ve learned, and I’m so much happier for it. “Thank you” feels incredibly inadequate for how much your words have touched my life, KC, but they’re all I’ve got. So: thank you.

If you want to prepare your home for its upcoming magazine photo shoot, this book is not for you. But if you're living in the real world--you know, the one where there are toys all over your living room floor, dirty dishes piled up in your home office, and things growing in your bathroom that might or not be a legitimate biohazard--THIS IS YOUR BOOK! Partly because the actual method works (did you know there are only 5 things in any room?), but mostly because this book will finally shut up the evil voice in your head that shames you for your mess. A more functional home is easily worth the price of the book, but the silence in your head is a gift beyond price.

KC Davis takes dread about “adulting” and makes the reader examine where the dread came from in the first place. Rather than another shame based how-to that’s impractical for most, this book is compassion based and a why-to guide for anyone struggling with caring for themselves, their space, and their kids.

I'm loving how it helps you look at things differently. It offers a freedom to let go of what everyone around you makes you think of yourself over your housekeeping skills and it helps you relax into the fact you may not have it all together, but you can do it. It will get done.It's a daily read, so you can read as much or little at a time and use what helps you immediately. Love it!

I'm a mom of two children two and under. I am drowning. This book succinctly provided 1) understanding that care tasks are not moral, and 2) practical advice for "keeping house".I read this book while breastfeeding my baby in one afternoon.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of the advice and thought in this book is great. But frankly, I was hoping for a deeper dive into what Davis posts about online. The writing was very repetitive and I found myself craving more. Some of the strongest sections I feel are the 'gentle skills building', where Davis outlines low-impact strategies for managing specific spaces, but I kept feeling like everything was so... surface level. Like a friend recounting some useful nuggets of wisdom they gleaned from a doctor: helpful, and kind, but not world shattering. I knew the book would be short from the page count, but I didn't realize just how short; for 31 days of care, some of these days are a paragraph long. However, I also 100% understand for those who struggle the most, this bite-size approach may be kind and accessible. Personally, as someone who already had the bite-sized content from Davis' TikTok page and was craving more, I was, well, underwhelmed. It was good. It was fine. I don't know that I got anything out of it I hadn't already watched online. But it wasn't odious either, so I'll let this review (which is longer than some of those 31 days) rest at a comfortable 3 stars.

I cannot thank you enough. Following the guidance in this book (and on your TikTok) I have turned both my mental health and my house around. My family are happier because I am happier and our space is functional and even occasionally aesthetically pleasing. I have highly recommended this book to all my friends and family who are also struggling and I have quoted this book to family who view care tasks as moral and try to shame me for my laundry pile or unwashed dishes.I highly recommend this book to anyone, weather you are struggling or not. When society as a whole starts viewing care tasks as functional and not a moral expectation the entire world would be a happier, more functional place. Thank you KC Davis so much for helping myself and my family as well as the countless others around the world who have been struggling.

I can't recommend this enough. Whether you regularly struggle with housework, finding yourself unable to keep on top of it or spending all your spare time cleaning, or if you just hit a period where life has happened and you find yourself drowning in endless chores, this book is a revelation.I've been working on self care and self love for a few years now and this was a perfect next step for me. Reminding me of some things I had forgotten (like that it's OK for functioning to be the only aim sometimes) and teaching me new methods to make functioning easier on the really hard days.Also, I cleaned my bathroom after reading the chapter on bathrooms!

Profound revelations such as: doing chores before (whatever), only works for children with a finite number of chores - BUT the learned notion that we must complete our tasks before (whatever), is one of the reasons we assign a moral motivation to get everything done and suffer guilt and "bully" others to help, in order to achieve what is, essentially "The Impossible". To relearn the reason we continue to do repetitive tasks is to help us decide how to go forward in life.I have no problem understanding that dealing with my hunger and thirst, is a repetitive task, self care is not attached to selfish or lazy - this book is brilliant, it touches on far more than I have had to deal with and ultra sensitive. Just one thing - using hangers is much quicker than folding, ironing or pegging out, if you are challenged by washing . . .

I can't say enough good things about this book. For such a small book it has had the biggest impact on me out of every book i've ever read. I cried reading it - to have someone 'see' you and your struggles and tell you that these don't make you a bad person was so validating. I bought the kindle version but soon bought a paper copy too so i could highlight and re-read certain bits over and over (I'm a visual learner).

How can I sum up this book?It's like someone came into a dark messy room and turned the lights on.Some of the advice is so simple it's brilliant.This book has given me a chance to feel comfortable in my home again, and helped me get to a point where I feel I'm coping. I can't recommend it enough