Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination

It seems like most of the 4 star reviews are written by people who have not lost a baby themselves.My experience is not exactly the same as the author's, but so many of the sentiments she expresses convey what I have been feeling since my daughter died, but did not have the talent to put into so many words.I bought this book, first because it is one (of many) that addresses a subject that has been so invasive in my life since last year. I purchased it along with a few others of the same general content. This one stands out by far.The second reason I chose this particular book among the handful is because of the title, which is obviously important or it wouldn't be the title. Not many other reviews have mentioned it. I had been feeling like I was imagining things... like my loss had been imagined, like the pregnancy had been imagined. Not really... I knew they had happened, but there are moments when I felt so out-of-place after our loss that I imagined I was about to wake up at any moment or that perhaps I had wandered mistakenly into a parallel-universe and the real me was still back in the real world, having a real, live baby. The image of Gweneth Paltrow in that movie Sliding Doors kept popping into my mind. At some point, at some singular moment, something happened, and one life kept going as expected while some other, wrong life, my life, ricocheted off in the wrong direction. This concept has had a strong pull on me and I am relieved to see someone write her story of baby loss that includes this perspective. Elizabeth's writing is descriptive in a way that gifts the bereaved reader with the words to say what she otherwise hadn't yet found the words to say. The writing is not exactly linear, which to me makes perfect sense because grief is not linear. There is each stage in it's prescribed order and then there is revisiting of each stage in a different order or in conjunction with another stage and this goes on forever as far as I can tell.Now on my 3rd pregnancy, following the 2nd that resulted in a beautiful but stillborn daughter, I nod my head along with the author as she explains how she could not do anything the same as the last pregnancy and writes about how she felt and acted while bringing a subsequent child into the world following the "calamity" of losing her first son.Outside of the story of pregnancy, loss and having a subsequent child, I found that reading about her life abroad with her husband was really enjoyable. I find pleasure in both Ms. McCracken's lifestyle and writing style. In the end, I don't just feel like I read a book about a woman whose baby died, I feel like I have made a friend. I may not be able to call her up and talk about the distress I'm having here during my third pregnancy, but like so many other "friends" I have made in the characters of my favorite books, I can read this one over and over again (it is a less-than-one-day read) and find comfort in the pages where she recounts the far-too- relatable thoughts and emotions I only wish all my real-life friends and family could understand about delivering a stillborn baby and about bringing a new baby into the world after that. She lost a baby years before me and wanted a book unlike the others already out there. I lost a baby years after she did and wanted a book like the one she wrote. I am so grateful to have found it.

While nothing can ever heal the loss of a baby this book gave me comfort. It made me laugh it made me cry and it made me feel understood.

Next to fiction, memoir is my favorite kind of book. My love for memoir attracted me to Elizabeth McCracken's An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, a book she calls the "happiest story in the world with the saddest ending".Indeed, it was. This book tells the story of Elizabeth's first and second pregnancies, only one of which resulted in a living child. The other, her first pregnancy, ended with the birth of her stillborn son, Pudding.Elizabeth tells her story with authenticity and a surprising amount of humor that had me crying in one moment and laughing the next (In fact, I still laugh every time I think of the "Dwarfs of Grief"). To be clear, this does not mean that she in anyway trivializes the pain of losing someone or that she's somehow being disrespectful to those who have suffered this plight. Instead, the opposite is true. Her honest account of her pregnancy and the pain of giving birth to a stillborn child draws the reader in, while her dry wit gives even those who are themselves grieving permission to laugh, if only for a moment.Elizabeth's account of people's responses to the death of her child also offers all those who have ever wondered how to comfort their friends a vivid lesson on how to grieve with others. In her words, "I am trying to remember what I have thought... All those times I didn't mention some great sadness upon seeing someone for the first time. Did I really think that by not saying words of consolation aloud, I was doing people a favor? As though to mention sadness I was 'reminding' them of the terrible thing? As though the grieving have forgotten their grief?" Elsewhere, she writes, "'I don't know what to say,' people wrote, or 'Words fail'. What amazed me about all the notes I got was how people did know what to say, how words didn't fail... To know that other people were sad made Pudding more real."Without a doubt, An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination is good storytelling. It's well-written, but beyond that, it's the kind of writing that makes the reader feel both Elizabeth's joy and pain and join her in wrestling with some of the most profound questions of life.

I almost never leave reviews, but this book fully deserves these 5 stars. I read this while pregnant, after having lost my first baby at 22 weeks. This book was incredibly insightful and I found myself nodding along again and again as she described the phenomenon of life and pregnancy after loss. Baby loss is such an isolating experience, and being pregnant again doesn't just "fix" it; books like this are such a lovely reminder that there are in fact people out there who get it. It's funny and poignant and doesn't feel like another self-help book, but rather like you are talking to a friend about a shared experience. I will probably read it at least once more during this pregnancy and gift to others in my life who walk a similar path. Definitely worth the read if you are pregnant after loss or supporting someone who is!

I have suffered two second trimester baby losses and this book certainly made me feel less alone. Elizabeth’s retelling of the death of her son and experience with stillbirth is raw, vulnerable and relatable. I recommend this book to anyone going through this, or to anyone wanting to understand what loosing a child during pregnancy is like.

A good read, tho a bit angry. The book does provide insight into what that mom is feeling in the circumstance of the loss of a newborn. Which is helpful when you want to be supportive if someone experiencing a similar loss

A heartbreaking story beautifully written. I am grateful Ms McCracken took the time to share her story. If you've lost a child or know someone who has, this book is recommended.

This book was recommended to me to help me to understand the feelings of the bereaved mother of a stillborn child. She said it came closer than anything else she had read. I hope I have learned from this book what not to say, but also that to say nothing can contribute to the grief of the mother, by not acknowledging the reality of her lost baby. This is a difficult book to read, yet will make you laugh, too. If you, or someone close to you, have been affected by stillbirth, please try it, as well as contacting SANDS, the stillbirth and neo-natal death society, at www.uk-sands.org, who provide wonderful support.

Who would have thought that a book on the loss of a baby could be such an enjoyable read, though enjoyable is not the right word. The author takes us through devastating sadness and leaves us with such happiness. Her writing makes you keep on wanting to read the next page, knowing that it might contain something heartbreaking but might contain something uplifting instead. A well written book from beginning to end. I'm glad I read it and highly recommend it.