Aging & Becoming: A Reflective Enquiry

“These are writings about ‘becoming’ as an ongoing and active process with its especial significance as we age….becoming assumes a ‘changing to’ and a ‘moving toward.'” Susan Scott and Susan SchwartzThe above words are from the preface of Aging and Becoming: A Reflective Enquiry, by Susan Scott, a writer from Morningside, Johannesburg, and Susan Schwartz, a Jungian analyst from Paradise Valley, Arizona.Each of the 26 chapters in this slender volume begins and ends with an appropriate quote, most from wise women throughout history. In between is a conversation between the authors on topics ranging from A–Aging & Attitude–to Z–Zero. Stitched together, these musings create a nurturing patchwork quilt of a month’s worth of meditations on how women can age consciously and wisely. Here aging is not treated as a downhill slide to a disastrous end, but a series of challenges and opportunities to grow your soul into its intended fruition.A sampling….A: Aging and AdaptingSusan Scott: Attitude is a word of motion that in its best sense expands and broadens. Many of us who do not allow for an expansion of attitude, a growth in our view of ourselves and the world and our place in it, can get stuck…This entrenchment of attitude is limiting and draining to personal power and leaves little room for movement or maneuver.Susan Schwartz: We are not only on a descent but also on an ascent into a more complete rounding out of our personality….Perhaps what is referred to as wisdom is the ability to cope and find reasons, strategies or ways of being and for valuing the present moments….The wisdom and spirit of age can be demolished only if we agree or collude with those attitudes that denigrate and demean.B: BodySusan Schwartz: The time for conformity and fitting in just to be accepted is over. Real forms of self-expression derive not from a false front or to superficially conform, but arise from the real self, a more complete woman self. As we age, the need to define and express our essence becomes more insistent. The image of the older woman as frumpy is not true. Voice, artistic writing, style, intellect comes in all these numerous garments and more for expressing her soul.Susan Scott: Healthy self-care differs from the obsessive body panic. The fine line is to be aware of judgments about the body as negative or perfect. That signals the false ego rather than a devotion to restorative self-attention.D: Dreams, Death & DepthSusan Schwartz: Dreams are both messages and messengers. And how awful it is to be ignorant of them. The mystery of not understanding them while holding them preciously allows for secrets to gradually unfold….[Dreams] illustrate, through their mirroring function, how the personality keeps on presenting information about life events, aging and changing.Susan Scott: The dream reveals our own metaphor, our own myth, as a gift to one’s self. It carries great responsibility and opportunities. The rich and honest soil of the dream, unconscious and wanting some light thrown on it requires attentive watering for its fertility and to bear fruit.F: Fear & FulfillmentSusan Scott: When I am assailed by fearful feelings I realize that they are often the spur that shakes me out of my languor and torpor. It is not easy sitting with them. Yet, by virtue of sitting and being in that fearful place, another kind of awareness may emerge creating a slight shift.J: Joy & JourneySusan Schwartz: Jouissance is a French word for physical or intellectual pleasure, delight, or ecstasy…it means to go beyond the superficial and metaphorically get out of the box. Jouissance transports us to what is beyond the familiar. It represents…intricacies to be appreciated as the journey wends its way even more uniquely and we continue to define and refine.M: Moon, Mourning & MysterySusan Scott: The moon’s principle is constant change and as such is symbolic of an emotional inner and outer principle. What other force is there like the moon that pulls the oceans from shore to shore? Now as we age we are more mindful of the powers of darkness, the night atmosphere represented by the moon and its associations to the feminine energy.Susan Schwartz: it is time to unravel the shadow pieces lying on the dark side of the moon. This expands the personality making us more inclusive and complete. We could then be more honest, openly accessible to ourselves and to others. Honesty is not hiding what we never had to hide to begin with.P: Path & Pain“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Gloria SteinemQ: QuestSusan Scott: The quest in life is being aware of the questions–about who we are, our place in this mystery of life as we experience it. We can ask the questions, stir things up a bit as it will surely do…we can welcome whatever arises as we would a guest, coming newly into our home. Can I live the questions I ask of myself? The only foolish question is the one not asked.Z: ZeroSusan Schwartz: The end of the alphabet, zero, is a letter than denotes what begins and ends…An aspect to Zen is waiting, awareness, feeling and not feeling the body and its sensations and reactions, being and not being caught in the mind….And the zebra that is such a lovely and unusual animal…Like the zebras none of us have the same stripes. This is similar to how we move through aging by negotiating its complexities and living consciously….Aging presents challenges that we do not escape at life endings.Aging and Becoming is not a work to rush through. It is contemplative reading, packed with thoughts to savor slowly, like a leisurely conversation over coffee with a beloved friend. It will activate your ego’s awareness of your soul’s natural condition: an appreciation for wonder, mystery, and curiosity, and a knowing of the essential meaning and potential of your life. Like winter, these inner events portend spring’s renewal.

Reading Aging and Becoming is like having a series of afternoon conversations over tea with two wise and stimulating friends. It’s a privilege to be part of their intelligent and far-reaching conversation. The book focuses on issues important to readers who have reached the second half of life. Both authors have a Jungian perspective and one author, Susan Schwartz, is a Jungian analyst, but the book doesn’t assume the reader has a Jungian background.Susan Scott and Susan Schwartz organize their book by writing letters to each other, focusing on topics arranged according to the alphabet. So, the interesting section on Waiting also touches on Winter, Wandering, Widowhood, and the Wheel of life. The authors approach difficult issues with honesty, clarity, and insight, leading the reader into a more meaningful relationship with growing older. The book also helps clarify the benefits and insights gained in the aging process. I especially enjoyed the excellent sections on grief and loss which are commonly experienced by the aging, but rarely discussed with such honesty and hope.

I recently have been experiencing many health issues. Some debilitating and clearly age related. I don't allow my happy self the negativity of depression these days and yet, it's been difficult to remain cheerful. Found myself identifying with so much about myself, especially where my lack of acceptance is concerned. I felt that I was secretly reading letters, from friends, as they poured their hearts out to one another. They touched on issues I may have been overlooking as I've aged. Being older than the two Susans, I realized that I may have lacked or avoided these matters, possibly due to being in denial concerning the fact that I am not caring for an older self, but still believing I won't experience what others, my age, will. Their messages reached my heart.

The thoughts and musings of two intelligent and articulate women on the problems of aging. And, even more critically, on the notion of being. One read is not enough, once more, but slowly this time.JF

Read the full review on Mindfunda.comPROYou will be embraced by the immense Jungian knowledge of two very eloquent Jungian ladies.This book will not only give you an immense knowledge on symbolism, it also has a lot to say about the practical use of mythology. Bluebeard and Baba Yaga will be strangers no more when you read this.This book will stimulate you to ask yourself questions like: who has been your Bluebeard? Are you familiar with your own Baba Yaga? How and why do you use the sentence No?It is a very affordable book, given its rich content.The authors speak of “voice of the heart versus the voice of the world”. It reminded me of Jung, in his Red Book, wrestling with the voice of this time versus the voice of the depth.This is a perfect book/gift for a woman who has reached a certain age. I don’t think younger ladies or gentlemen will truly resonate with the book.ConSometimes I felt the need to read chapters about a certain subject, instead of the letters. Even though the actors did manage to squeeze in a lot of content, I missed chapters about becoming a grandparent, about the stages of life of a woman. Maybe it is just personal, because I am not used to books written this way.This is a perfect book/gift for a woman who has reached a certain age. I don’t think younger ladies or gentlemen will truly resonate with the book.Mindfunda verdict:8/10

If you have ever thought that when you have reached the age of forty-five or fifty, you have reached your zenith, then forget it. That is a myth, which has caused many women to bury their heads in the sand causing them to refuse to reflect over the process of aging. Closing their minds to desires and goals that might have been or that still can be, they block the energy from within themselves that they need to change. Life has nothing more to offer, so they stagnate.Aging and Becoming, a book by Susan Scott and Susan E. Schwartz, PH.D presents us with the thoughts of women who are discovering what aging means to them as they go through the process of becoming older. There are some hard truths in this book. Therefore, the book, Aging and Becoming, will force any woman into deep consideration.I found it rewarding that many of the women interviewed in this book are not drowning. That is very encouraging. Rather they have become explorers. As one woman said, and I like her way of thinking,“Aging is something we do every day. It is necessary to life and unavoidable.”I had to smile because I agree. Becoming older is unavoidable.An excellent book for all adults at any age, I highly recommend it.Shalom aleichem,Pat Garcia