STANDING ON MY OWN TWO FEET: A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce

A good read for children with separated/divorced parents but the illustrations could have been improved. My daughter found the pictures to be a bit “freaky” and whilst this may just be her view it means it’s not a go to book for us even though the content is ok.

Reception was okay. Was what I expected more or less.

Great book to explain changes to kids!

This book has been SO helpful. For any other families that are dealing with a contentious custody situation or are concerned about alienation/abuse by proxy I highly recommend. The language and concepts are very simple and very effective.My boyfriend and his ex-wife share custody of their 6 year old son. His ex moved out of state 2 years ago (with her fiancé) and their son lives primarily with us. Their son will often request this book when he’s having “big feelings” and missing his mom extra. We talk a lot about feelings in our home and the messages in this book really seem to comfort him.In regards to helping with alienation- per the custody agreement their son just spent all summer (2020) with his mom. She wasn’t following mask rules and before he returned she told him she was worried about him coming back to his father because “there isn’t any COVID where mommy lives but everyone is dying in San Francisco where daddy lives”.Awful. So awful. And she’s lying! But he’s only 6, he doesn’t read the news; and she’s his mother, so of course he believes her. He loves all of us- but he was really scared and had a huge meltdown. But how do we defend ourselves without calling his mom a liar? Navigating that minefield required some mental gymnastics.We spent a long time letting him express his feelings and concerns. He was SO angry and confused. Once he felt understood and calmed down a bit we agreed that COVID was really scary but that we had heard different information. We heard COVID was all over the world- including where mom lives. Everywhere. Not just San Francisco. And we don’t know anyone who’s died- not even anyone who’s gotten sick (thankfully). So SOME people are dying in San Francisco but not everyone. But more importantly... “Remember My Two Feet? What does is say about moms and dads? When you’re with them… you are safe. Your parents will keep you safe. That’s their job. When you’re with mom and her fiancé you’re safe and when you’re with dad and me you’re safe. COVID is super scary but we will keep you safe.”“You are safe” connected with him. I could see him relax. He knows this book and I think being reminded of this affirmation that’s been comforting him over 2 years definitely helped ground him and bring him back to reality. At least a little bit.Side note, if you’re looking for an adult book about navigating separate houses Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci and Putting Children First by JoAnne Pedro-Carroll are good resources.If things are more contentious (alienation/abuse by proxy or brainwashing is a concern) I’d suggest Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak.

I bought this book for my 6 year old when she was 4 and her dad and I were separating. I knew it would be a good thing to have a book that validated her experiences, but I didn't realize how affirming and helpful it would be. She's now 6 and just as I think she's forgotten about it, she'll pick it up at bedtime and read it out loud and smile. There's a sense of pride and a sense of self that this book has given her, as I think there's power in putting words to a difficult experience and knowing you're not alone. It's also great about letting kids know that what's going on is not their fault and not their responsibility to fix. I appreciate the line that acknowledges that they hope mom and dad will get back together, but that probably won't happen and it's not up to them. It validates so much - emotions, experience, normal reactions, and has really been a blessing that she still goes back to. I was surprised how meaningul it's been to her and me. Definitely recommed!