Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

Confession: I had no intention of reading this book. My husband and I are planting a new church campus, have two toddlers, and are pretty proactive in connecting with people. So zero minutes to spare and felt like I had this topic pretty well under my thumb. Praise God for proving me so wrong by the third chapter! I am seeing this topic is NOT under my thumb and this new church campus DESPERATELY needs this as part of the culture!I've learned that always initiating does not mean I'm needy, doing friendship wrong, they don't like me, etc. It means that initiating is hard and the world needs more people with well exercised initiating muscles.I am looking forward to planting this new church campus with these truths in my belt and inking this fresh page with strong community with community that doesn't quit.Whether you're fresh out of college or fresh into retirement, finding your people is life giving and contagious. I highly recommend spending some time with this book and then go change the world with your people!

Part 1 of the book sets up the problem and assures us we're not the only lonely ones. Part 2 of this book felt not quite ready for the general population, though. Would have been nice if the author had run her steps past a group of low-income folks, single parents, introverts, etc. to see if the ideas were practical for those groups, then adjust Part 2's advice accordingly. Part 3 resonated more with me, but still didn't quite hit the mark. I'm looking for books that ask me to chase after God's plans, not my own, and this book was mostly self-help like I'd find from a non-Christian. Didn't fly with me, though I loved Jennie's last book.

This book! I moved to a new city in a new state, shortly before the pandemic. I was able to meet people, but the connections were lacking in sincerity and depth. Then Covid happened and I was holding on to any relationship I could with a delicate thread, but most of them dissolved over the span of a year. This book not only revived my hope that we all have “our people” out there, but gave marching orders on how to find them! Jennie’s Biblical truths on how “We weren’t just built for community, but we were built because of it.”, really recharged my spirit. I can’t wait to continue pursuing real, vulnerable, and true relationships! I highly recommend this book if you are curious how to go deeper with people, but especially if you’ve been feeling a bit lonelier lately! Thanks, Jennie!

After tracking with this author the past few years, and being moved by her involvement in making Jesus known in the nations, I thought for sure the "Find Your People" book would address the gaping hole in our church in the west: For Christians who have actually made Jesus their Lord, pursue helping the persecuted church and unreached people, we are often alone. There is very little community in the mega-church model, or traditional brick and mortar church. So few even think about "The Great Commission" or "Making Disciples". It is a lonely place, even among pastors.I purchased 9 of these books to give to on-fire female youth who are ready to go into missions, and boy did I judge a book by it's title. This is a shallow self-help book! <---- seriously! I have not encountered this author until seeing her with Pastor X, and am just blown away at the level of dupedness I feel. Thankfully I did not hand the books out.I am returning these books effective immediately.For those who want a self-help approach to finding community, with very surface-level content regarding faith, you might like this. For those who have grown WITH the author to advance and mobilize their faith, you will be left mouth agape....like me.

I do think the heart of this book is wonderful. I love all the very practical tips it gives. Very convicting, thought-provoking, and needed for our individualistic society. HOWEVER, despite Jennie laughing about being an extrovert and how us introverts might struggle - um, YAH! I appreciate that she "answers' many "objections" that may be raised to her vision of community, and while I did find those to be very helpful, I still can't help but wonder what this book might have looked like if an introvert had wrote it. I found some of her scenarios hard to relate with, but also think that people's community habits can look quite different than her's with still depth and meaning. Just food for thought. Definitely a good kick in the pants but I don't think I'll ever be able to go as FAR as Jennie exhorts without dying of instant introvert trauma and exhaustion. lol.

This book was ok but if you are a person who has to move around for military or career purposes, this will make you feel worse. She mentions several times that part of the “loneliness” problem in our society is that people move, and that once you find your village you should stay. Unfortunately I had to leave my village and start completely over and will more than likely have to do so over and over every two years. It made me feel like there is no hope for someone like me. She doesn’t address people who are single parents, movers, low income, etc. She portrays finding community much easier than it actually is.

As division seems so prevalent in todays world, it’s no wonder we are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In a world of instant gratification, it’s no wonder we get discouraged when we don’t have overnight BFFs. We crave connection, community, and friends we can count on but we have forgotten what it takes to cultivate those things in our lives. In Jennie’s newest book, she graciously reminds us of how we were created from and for community and challenges us to do the work to fulfill that longing we have for it. Tangible ways to accomplish this, examples of what this can look like, and encouragement you need to do the hard things and have the awkward conversations that are necessary to yield the community and connections you desire. You can do it alone, so buy two copies, give one to a friend and read through it together! You won’t be disappointed!

Like other reviewers I think this is what would work for Jennie and her friends but wasn't workshopped to include wider groups. Jennie mentions that step one is getting a fire pit to "gather". Those living in small apartments in diverse inner cities, in colder climates or less safe neighbourhoods, who might be introverted or can't gather outside and can barely find space to gather in their homes, who may be single parents, or holding down multiple jobs or have health challenges are unlikely to find her very Christian-focused, large group plans inclusive and easy to action.She also makes a point of saying friends should be viewed in terms of "roles" and lists examples. Life is never this neat. Giving people mentally assigned roles invariably means friendships break down when someone stops satisfying a role or can no longer satisfy a role for you. For example she says that you should take your problems to "The Sage" as they like it. I would suggest asking your "Sage" if they like having everyone unload on them rather than assuming it. Seeing people in terms of "roles" maybe useful but it lacks depth.Finally if you've ever experienced narcissistic abuse or codependency in your relationships this is probably not the right book for you.

If we have learned anything during the past two years of the Global Pandemic, it's that we need people. We were not meant to live life alone. God has created us to be relational. Finding friends can be difficult. How do we find people we can trust enough to let them into the deep parts of our lives? Jennie Allen's new book, Find Your People answers that question. She gives us the tools to find those people who will enrich our lives and make us better, stronger humans as a result. Jennie is real about the struggle of the being new kid and trying to Find Your People. With a strong Biblical foundation, she invites us to the challenge of being awkward and vulnerable to find the people we were meant to do life with. It's a hard challenge - a rewarding challenge. One that is definitely worth taking on.Jennie writes with passion and conviction, out of her personal experience. She is very relatable and opens up her heart in a way that I found very familiar. I've moved a lot and often found myself at a loss for friends, waiting for someone else to initiate a conversation. As an adult, and introvert, it is still a challenge to break in to well-established groups. Find Your People is exactly the book I've needed to help be the right kind of friend and to find the right kind of friends. Thanks Jennie!

Many great lessons in this book on how to build community with people. We are created for deep, intimate relationships yet they are hard to establish. Jennie Allen shares how we need a village around us, not a city. The relationships we establish in the village can be nourished to be those 2-5 life friends we so desperately need.

I have loved Jennie for years and knew from the title that whatever she had to say was what I needed to hear. This book made me totally rethink the way I was approaching friendship and community. She talks about initiative we need to take, hard things we need to accept, and the possibility of what life could look like if we do. Her words give encouragement in an area of life so many are secretly feeling hopeless about, and will shift my approach for years to come!

I was captivated by stories of community in Africa and small village towns in Italy after listening to a podcast with Jennie. She has some great ideas but unfortunately the ideas are diluted heavily with Christian ideology - which is totally fine, I just wish I'd known prior to diving in.If you're not religiously inclined then I don't think this book will be for you :)