First Comes Love: A Novel Paperback – April 4, 2017

First Comes Love is a many faceted love story: love for your sister, love for your spouse, love for your child, love for your family, your friends and ultimately for yourself.Josie and Meredith have always had a tumultuous relationship. Meredith is not sure that her "perfect" marriage is anywhere close to perfect. She wonders if she should even be a mother, while Josie is desperate to have a baby; even if it means doing it alone.The tragic accident that shook their family to the core fifteen years ago and the grief and guilt they carry with them has been instrumental in the choices they have made, the people they have become.Told in alternating voices of Meredith and Josie, we gain insight to these characters and why they do what they do (or don't). Initially I did not think I would like the character of Josie, but she quickly became the one I was really rooting for, hoping she would get the things she wanted/needed to finally be happy and at peace with herself. Meredith I found to be very negative, judgmental , stiff and quite frankly, unlikeable.While this is not a happy book by any stretch, it is not dark or depressing and the conclusion is hopeful.

Giffin is a skilled, confident writer. I marveled that her writing could capture my interest within just the first few pages. The reader is immediately drawn into the story. The characters are well-developed, flawed, frustrating, likeable, irritating and devastated by grief. After the death of their brother, Josie and Meredith still grapple with the aftermath some fifteen years later. The parents divorce, and the already-contentious sisters try to move forward. This book explores how the events of our lives can shape and influence the choices we make. It shows how grief can derail even the strongest of families, and how each family member struggles in their own way to find some measure of happiness and peace amid the ever-present loss. While I didn't always agree with the characters actions, if looked at through the clouded lens of grief, it was easier to understand their motivations. Giffin knows how to create highly-readable stories about complicated, nuanced family dynamics. The primary message seems to be that despite the pain and the difficulty and the general chaos of life, love prevails.

I vascilated between 3 and 4 stars........ I so wanted to like this book.Let me start out by saying that Emily Giffin can write and she does it well. The book sucked me in from the very beginning. The opening chapter--the preview, really--was the best written part of this book. Once I started reading, I devoured the book in a day. It kept me interested and engaged all day yesterday--but the conclusion infuriated me enough that I am up this morning writing this review.Giffin is the rare author that can make poignant emotional observations and not weigh them down under too flowery prose. She writes simply but allows the reader to experience emotional highs/low. She successfully allows you to get into the rich inner lives of other people. She knows how to hold up a mirror to our latest societal obsessions--facebook, etc. She understands the language of women and is an expert at crafting female relationships that resonated. She also NAILS Buckhead/Atlanta, and having lived there (in her neighborhood, no less) years ago, I recognized the world she drew and enjoyed revisiting. All that was great......and yet.....These are not very likable characters.At first, I overlooked their flaws thinking that part of a well-written narrative involves making the reader feel slightly superior to the characters, who after all, are there to grow, right? Flawed characters are interesting. Initially, I appreciated how, for example, she illustrated that Meredith was a negative control freak and Josie was a self-involved drama queen. It reminded me a bit of Jennifer Weiner's "In Her Shoes" and I was excited to bite off a juicy read. I wanted to see Giffin's take on two clearly spoiled children and was excited to see their arc.Only they did not grow all that much......and if anything, they morphed into even less likable versions of themselves. By the end, I thought of these two women as people I would not want in my life for a myriad of reasons--spoiled, whiny and not particularly concerned about anyone other than themselves.The male characters are also thinly drawn...... Nolan, the husband, is not anyone I could recognize beyond just the whole "great husband" gig. He was the best drawn character of the bunch.Pete, Gabe---all mirages whose actions I could identify but whose motivations remained hidden and poorly understood throughout. While I realize it's hard to write about other characters when you are writing from first person POV, the failure of the development of these characters is a direct result of shallow female protagonists with shallow motivations. Putting it another way, if you are writing in the first person about two narcissistic beyotches, chances are you are never going to get any depth of insight into anyone in their world. Which we didn't.I think this was supposed to be an exploration of grief and it's lingering effects, but it did not work. I get the premise of the book--I am friends with a family that had such a loss, and the impact irrevocably changed their relationships, outlooks and dynamic--and not for the best. I thought this book was going there, but instead, it bypassed it. Instead of addressing the insights about grief--that it can make you stingy, protective, bitter etc--the author used a "not-that-meaningful secret" as a foible and it just missed the mark. It would have been easily forgivable, as a reader, if these characters had then not proceeded to leave the book with two acts of, well, self absorption. If you like the characters, (which I did not) you'd be alarmed at their final acts of self-sabotage. The book literally ends with two bad choices--train-wrecks in the making. Neither character inspires much admiration and if anything, one can't help but feel for their existing and future progeny. If this is their "you go girl" moments, we are in deep doo-doo as women. Their choices are for and about them and the impact of said choices are never explored. It is assumed that if it benefits these two women, then the hell with everyone else.Finally, I noted something this time around that I realize has been a hallmark of Giffin books and this time it bothered me. Giffin has a hidden bias for "all that is pretty"---her characters are pretty, her setting are pretty. All fine and good as we are reading her books to escape, right?Except for the fact that as I read, her observations about people reflected a worldview that is rapidly expiring: that the well-ordered life, the thin lulu-mom women "look" is desirable above all else. Now before you tell me I am being picky, let me say this. The world is changing. More and more women are throwing off the shackles of the "put together, affluent" window dressing of the last decade. People recognize that social media is a facade and while a few years ago, Pinterest and Instagram might have haunted more women, these days we are more apt to laugh at the expectations of perfection. We are more realistic about what is window dressing and its importance. Also, after years of financial excesses, 2008 changed us. Parents buying homes for their kids as a means to "keep up appearances" is simply passé and to note it as a "family choice" is loopy.If you are going to write about women throwing off the shackles and getting divorces or pursuing single parenthood, but still keep in a subtle (but ever present) bias towards keeping up appearances, or insinuate that looking a certain way or having ample money or being a certain weight is a given--well, there is a disconnect there..... and it rang hollow. Writing about spoiled, materialistic, shallow women without ever calling them out on it is very 2006. There are various points when it becomes clear that it's not the characters who have a shallow world view, but rather the author.First Comes Love is, I think, suppose to denote self-love? If that is the case, the characters have loads of that---what they needed to work on was loving other people and being appreciative for their incredible privilege in living such guilded lives.So that's my review. A little harsh, yes. I enjoyed the book, read it in a day, and that says a lot. I will buy her next book but my hope is that Ms. Giffin takes some advice from her own characters. I hope she can escape Atlanta society for a jaunt outside her well manicured world so she can write with a bit more depth and self reflection. She is a great writer but the effects of her insular world are showing.....Even so, I look forward to next summer's read. Compelling, readable......but a drama for and about the 1%.

After reading The One and Only two years ago I was upset. I am a huge Emily Giffin fan. I have read every book. But the last one just was not good. So I was worried that I would be disappointed again.Happy to say I was not.This book touches on how tragedy can disrupt the lives of others. Everyone responds differently to tragedy and this book shows that well.We follow the lives of two sisters-- Meredith and Josie-- after their family is rocked by a loss. We pick up with the sisters years later as we read how that single event shaped their adulthood.I really enjoyed this book and the depth of the characters. Couldn't put it down and finished reading it on the bus from Alnwick to Newcastle. Well done Mrs. Giffin! Welcome back!

Loved the author and the story

Great read and service thank you.

Ein gutes Buch von Emily Griffin, die Personen haben alle ihren eigenen Charakter und man kann der Geschichte gut folgen.

I wish it would of went on longer, other than that, great book.

Ótimo livro, como quase todos que li da Emily.A leitura é fluida e os personagens tem muitas camadas, fácil da gente se identificar e se colocar nas situações que eles passam.É um romance só pela classificação mesmo, não esperem homens em seus cavalos brancos,salvando mulheres.