Simon & Schuster People Skills

I really loved this book & the helpful advice it has to offer on day-to-day communications and also for when you're in a tough situation & need to sort it out.

Lo he tenido que devolver, no pude seguir leyendo ejemplos machistas y retrógrados.

I agree with the positive reviews of this book. I got a lot out of it and realized I have unwittingly created many of the roadblocks at one time or another. I learned how they work and I'm trying to avoid using them now that I am aware of them. Things like being critical and giving unsolicited advice are obviously bad, but the light bulb came on for me when I read that compliments could also be used in an effort to manipulate or control. They can put a label on someone that stops further communication. I always felt weird when people paid a compliment that seemed unwarranted or even creepy (like "you're such a beautiful girl, I know you will help me out." What has one got to do with the other?!); I previously thought I was being ungracious or something was wrong with me. (I always said thank you out loud so as not to be rude.) I see now that there was more to many of these compliments and my instincts were spot-on. So now when I get one of these slimy-feeling little compliments, I look deeper for the ulterior motive and can resist the attempt at manipulation to come. I look deeper into what everyone says now, comparing what they say to how they say it to make sure I'm getting the true meaning and not missing something important to the other person. I ask for clarification if I'm unsure of the meaning. I think of all the misunderstandings & hurt feelings caused because I didn't pay close enough attention and jumped to the wrong conclusions, creating arguments and discord. This is really useful at work too, where people tend to be less forthcoming and you have to ask the right questions (but not too many!)In a nutshell, you can learn how to be a nicer person who shows real concern and respect for others, and who can stand up to aggressive people when necessary. I don't mind the wordiness or the quotes from other psychologists, some of them are quite nice. Like any book, you can get what you need out of it and ignore the rest.

Famosissimo libro di Bolton, consigliato a tutti quelli che vogliono migliorare le proprie capacità di capire gli altri. Adatto sia a professionisti e leader, sia per cultura personale. In inglese.

I am disabled through mental ill health. I have paranoia and depression. However so much of this was due to not having friends. I always thought that this was just an elusive skill I did not have and never would. The isolation would lead to my mind playing tricks on me and eventually to sectioning under the mental health act.This book gives a simple recipe for removing the barriers we put between ourselves and others to protect ourselves when bullied in childhood and never removed. The most important thing I feel other people need to like you are paraphrasing content, reflecting feeling and not lapsing into playing psychiatrist with others no matter how tempting it is. These amongst many other methods are taught in the book.I have spent my life learning engineering and software coding skills. What a delight it is to find a straight forward book on an effective syntax of communication with fellow humans instead of machines. It is so much more enjoyable and ultimately employable as well.Thank you.