The Measure of Our Days: A Spiritual Exploration of Illness

I was enraptured with this book! It brought me to tears over and over again because of the coincidences that devastated people's lives and how just one small change in someone's decision or that of her/his medical practitioner could have sent the whole trajectory of their health and lives on a whole different course! This book really evoked the deep mystery of the lives we lead here on our Earth; such beauty and horror! Also, Dr. Groopman expresses himself very, very well and is a truly excellent writer and raconteur (French for storyteller) which a lot of people, although they are gifted professionals in other fields cannot do very well a lot of the time. I have read this book more than once and I contacted Dr. Groppman several times but did not get a warm reception, probably because I am trying to scientifically prove through an NIH (National Institutes of Health) clinical trial (or disprove! I am completely open to whatever the outcome is as a lot of people who call themselves scientific ABSOLUTELY ARE NOT! I've run into this over and over again, especially those who call themselves skeptics; not only is their outlook NOT scientific, they also make many ad feminam/hominem attacks which are uncalled for and which also are irrelevant to what we're discussing which is the very meaning of ad feminan/hominem attacks: they mean to cast aspersions on the person rather than speak to the actual issues at hand) herbal medicaments for some cancers and although he nor his assistant said so, I think they strongly disapproved, which he wrote some about in his book. Bummer! Please see my crowdfunding campaign here and donate generously if you believe in what we're trying to do: [...]

I am a Groopman groupie. This book, like all his others, is a wise book about medical conditions. His writing introduces unqiue dimensions to medical writing that appeals to the human and spiritual side of all who are concerned about issues of illness and decisionmaking in all their complexity.

Well written and informative.

As a nurse who has worked in Oncology, I have found this book very interesting and thought-provoking. It brought back many memories of patients and similar situations. Could anyone ask for a physician any more compassionate than Dr. Groopman? Something for all in the medical field to strive for.

great author and very hopeful!

I have always thought I would refuse almost all cancer treatments especially chemo, so reading this gave me a very different perspective and almost convinced me I would fight till the bitter end with everything we've got. But then I realized this was the perspective (and very selected case studies) of a cancer researcher and doctor that has everything to gain from his patients allowing all his aggressive treatments. Still it's a well written and inspirational account of the process should one decide to go for it and fight the "courageous battle".

If you subscribe to the notion that a great book is one that prompts us to examine the question "How should I live my life," then The Measure of Our Days is a great book. It gives you a window into the lives of eight people (and those close to them) who were prompted to examine their own lives as they came to a point where they understood that the remaining time might be short. I felt that Groopman showed remarkable restraint in not overlaying the stories of these patients with reflections about their choices or the meaning of those choices. But the collection of stories does nevertheless cohere in what it tells us about those choices. An architect who had formerly chosen not to try to prolong his life later changes his mind, because, it becomes clear at the end, he wished to stay as long as he could for love of his partner. A narcissistic and overbearing woman decides to donate a prized collection of drawings. The author's friend, who had been disappointed in his own failure to write a major work, renews his commitment to promoting understanding through his day-to-day journalistic efforts. A businessman recognizes he has invested foolishly by having given his wife and family short shrift. A young woman with HIV decides to adopt a child and dedicate her remaining energies to motherhood. Reading through these I found myself thinking of Christopher Lasch's 1979 book, "The Culture of Narcissism." Here, Lasch talked about the narcissistic self-absorption in what had already been called "the me generation." Near the end of the book, he refers back to one of his primary guiding lights, Sigmund Freud. Lasch wrote, "The best defense against the terrors of existence are homely comforts of love, work, and family life, which connect us to a world that is independent of our wishes yet responsive to our needs. ...Love and work enable each of us to explore a small corner of the world and to come to accept it on its own terms ... (but) Our standards of 'creative meaningful work' are too exalted to survive disappointment. We demand too much of life, too little of ourselves." The common theme, it turns out, is the one that Lasch (quoting Freud) pointed to. In order to make the most of our lives, fully recognizing and accepting its conditions and boundaries, is to accept those limitations, as well as our own limitations, and to live free of the self absorption that frustrates true connection between ourselves and others, and impedes our ability to fully experience the current moment. Groopman's book is truly a philosophical work. It is not a treatise but a work of literature in its restraint, its mode of showing rather than telling, and its adherence to the Emily Dickinson's instruction: "Tell all the truth but tell it slant . . ." And it is a captivating and great read.

No small number of my loved ones have required the care of hematologists -- mother-in-law, nephew, two aunts, father, husband. I worked closely with a group of hematologists for several years and had a close friend in that branch of medicine. How, I always wondered, do they maintain the emotional and spiritual resources needed to continue in this challenging line of work? Dr. Jerome Groopman addresses that very question in the prologue to "The Measure of Our Days." He writes, "I identify several elements that give me hope and strength in the cold company of death. One is modern science and the potential for change it offers. Another is the wisdom and solace found in faith. And, perhaps most important, as the following stories reveal, I draw on the particular lessons -- of courage and endurance -- gained from my patients." There is Kirk, a venture capitalist with kidney cancer who learns too late what makes a life worthwhile. Dan, a research fellow with hemophilia, contracted AIDS from Factor VIII concentrates before routine screening of the blood supply. Cindy, in her mid-thirties, tried to get over a broken relationship by taking a "freedom week" at Club Med, and came home infected with HIV; she could not face life without the love of a child so she expressed her faith by adopting an orphan from overseas. Matt contracted AIDS from a transfusion for his acute leukemia in the year before screening of donated blood. Debbie tried to fight off her metastatic breast cancer with the principles of Tao rather than radiation and chemotherapy. Alex always insisted that he wanted to be assisted to die at the first sign of debility from his AIDS, but when the time came he clung to life and his young lover. Elizabeth used her social status to bring a power play into her relationships. And finally, Elliott, a lifelong friend of Dr. Groopman, learned to reassess the meaning of worldly achievement. These patients brought their personal strengths to the engagement, and in the retelling of their cases, Dr. Groopman shows his own spiritual depth and the faith that feeds it. "The Measure of Our Days" has good layman's explanations of the medical situations involved in the eight cases. If this type of language is within your context at all, then I recommend this book to you. Its message of hope goes beyond the dire medical scenarios and speaks volumes about the human spirit. Linda Bulger, 2008