Raccoon Love: A Memoir Paperback – December 28, 2021

Although his name is not mentioned in Stephen Akey's memoir Raccoon Love, a reader might think of Ernest Hemingway: "There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." Every page of Raccoon Love is dyed in pain--stained with hope destroyed; love failed; good intentions come to naught; regret; sweetness and idealism undercut by frustration and rejection; and pining for a treasure irretrievably gone, except in memory. It bleeds.It is the story of the author, who appears under his own name, and his marriage in the early1980's to Lucy Kung, a Chinese-Filipina woman. They live in Brooklyn. He at various times is a librarian (one of his later books is called, simply, Library), briefly a frustrated public-school teacher, and always a writer. Verbally gifted, self-conscious, academic (he has an intellectual's approach to whatever he reads or does, whether it be philosophy, bird-watching or rock 'n' roll), hapless, awkward, and, as Lucy says, "without a malicious bone in [his] body." After submitting a personal ad to the Village Voice, he meets, courts, then falls in love with Lucy. She is preternaturally competent, attractive, unawkward, a feminist and a developing visual artist (quilts, abstract paintings). His love intensifies. While Stephen is not blind to who she is, Lucy maintains her idealized status. What could go wrong?Everything, eventually. The two marry, have a child, and stick it out for twenty-three years until she forces him out of their Brooklyn apartment, "She wasn't sure she loved me anymore." Raccoon Love does not amplify her declaration. We never get inside Lucy's head. Is doing so possible? The cozy, self-sustainingraccoon-like family breaks apart.If this review begins with one literary reference, it could end with one of a philosophical cast, Freud's famous question, "What does woman want?" The book does not answer this, largely because Stephen can never find the answer, no matter how much he analyzes the trajectory of his marriage. Must a marriage be like F. ScottFitzgerald's explanation for successful fiction: it surprises readers by satisfying demands that they didn't know they had? Must one lower or keep changing the bar? What could have saved the Akey-Kung alliance? Neither a polemic or a prescription, Raccoon Loves looks backwards and opens its hands, palms up. It may break your heart.

A memoir capturing the lifelong journey of a love relationship from its beginning, through parenting of a child and, eventually, to its finality. Throughout the book the author has recollected detailed interactions while contemplating life's purpose and meaning. The author also references other great works of literature and philosophy which I really enjoyed and added some of those to my reading list.

Stephen Akey is an author who deserves more attention and more readers than he has so far attracted. I first came upon him when I read COLLEGE, a charming metaphor of his college years. Later I read LIBRARY, a memoir of his experiences in library school and his work as a librarian. I thought LIBRARY was good but not as good as COLLEGE. RACCOON LOVE is a memoir of love and marriage. It tells the story of the rise and fall of a romantic relationship. It is very touching and very well written. I think it is every bit as good a book as COLLEGE. Very insightful, very humane. The story is bittersweet, the author is self-deprecating and aware of his own imperfections. Highly recommended.

A beautifully written reflection on love found and lost. Thoughtful and moving.