Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People

Recovery begins with nailing what your abuser is, especially when he is a psychopath and this book will help you see that, if indeed your abuser is one. Everything in this book is bang on. It will hurt in parts but it will name what you are dealing with, validate your experiences (when likely no one close to you personally can), and it will show you you had no chance against this twisted mind, so stop beating yourself up about where you went wrong.I became the victim of a psychopath in 2010. I was one of the ones who smelled a rather toxic rat and broke things off. Sure enough, 3 years and counting I am still being stalked, terrorised, harrassed, my car is vandalised (resulting in massive car crash through an electricity pylon which I am lucky to survive), my movements constantly monitored on and offline. Yes I agree with this book my stalker took turns to drive me to suicide or provoke/goad me to get back in touch with him (this wasn't because he wanted me to come back to him. He was setting me up as all psychopaths do. He was desperate to tell me he was married now and really really really happy.My psychopath is a callous sadistic stalker, voyeur, pervert and major criminal who enjoys his freedom when he should most certainly be in prison. He is a very dangerous man wrapped up in a bumbling english country gentleman persona, 'what me, why I couldn't even hurt a fly'. He will not only hurt a fly but you, your friends and even your children if it frightens you. His persona is drivel but it is a persona that fools a lot of people. I am paying a high price for sussing him out. This psychopath has done everything, just short of murdering me ( I hope I do not speak too prophetically) though he has goaded me to kill myself and as I say tampered with my car which many times could have resulted in my death.This book covers all of this. This is what psychopaths do and they don't just do it to you. If you are persecuted by them it's because you are stronger than them. In a way it's a compliment. They can't ever have the women they really want because the women they really want will always suss them out so they they have to settle and when they settle and feel entirely unsatisfied in their 'settled' relationship, they boil with anger inside and take it out on the women they couldn't have/keep. YOU!THIS BOOK IS ESSENTIAL READING to begin the process of stopping your mind going over and over and over and over again why it's your fault. What on earth did you do? You must have treated him very badly indeed. You must be a very bad person to attract such awfulness into your life. If only you knew what you had done so you could fix it. Read this book. Forget fixing a monster and concentrate on fixing yourself. Get some validation. No one else except other victims can give you that. So start by getting some from this book. You must firmly root in your mind that these people are inhuman. Inhuman. Completely and utterly inhuman to an extent you will find difficult to believe because you are so entirely human.I remember telling my psycho about a historical TV documentary I watched where scientists had performed cruel experiments on babies. The programme disturbed me and I described one of the dreadful experiments that was performed on a baby boy to my psycho stalker. Instead of being as disturbed as I was he laughed and began to act out how the baby must of looked during the experiment. My blood ran cold. I didn't understand back then what I was dealing with. I do now. A monster.If you are a victim of a psychopath take heart. Read this book over and over. Get some validation for your experiences. Be amazed at how precisely right it is in every way. And firmly root in your mind that they are inhuman. Stop endowing them with normal human qualities. They don't have any. This is what makes you better than them. No matter how it feels, no matter who they are, they are not better than you. Don't believe it when they stop at nothing to brainwash you into thinking that they are superior to you. They are not. They know they are not. That's why they have to work so hard convincing you you are worthless. TOXIC!!! Read this book. It might hurt a bit in parts, but in the end you'll just feel so validated when you do. Eventually you will stop thinking about them in ways that hurt you, you will start to get angry, then you will feel repulsed by them and then finally indifferent to them. I'm not entirely indifferent yet because i maintain a constant dialogue with the police because of the stalking but I am repulsed and certainly harbour not a shred of warm feeling for him, no matter how rosy it seemed at times in the past. Thank god.The bits about this book I suggest heeding most are the bits about looking after yourself. Treat yourself kindly. Look after yourself mentally, physically spiritually and really do apply the rules of no contact which are most vital. I wish I had had more strength during the worst times.This has without doubt been the worst period of my life and it has spoiled a substantial portion of my children's young life too. I don't know how I would have coped had I not found resources such as this book to illuminate the minds of these heinous people terrorists.

I was open minded when I bought this book, but it was quite an intriguing journey reading this book. An eye opener. I read this book on my kindle and I really enjoyed it. I think I read it in one day! It kept me hooked from the beginning to end. It has a lot of valuable information which I would need to refer back to it again. It was an interesting view or insight into narcissistic people, which many of us wouldn't even have guessed or imagined why certain people react the way that they do towards you. If you are feeling guilty or responsible for things going wrong in your relationship with a partner or siblings, family etc, don't! Because this book will bring you some confort or answers. It will help you exteriorise the guilt and inadequacies that you are feeling by understanding the phsychology of narcissistic people. It will inform you that you cannot change narcissistic people but you can spot them and you can also learn how to deal with them or avoid them altogether. I think this is an educational book. It is value for money. It is easy to read as well. I strongly recommend. The author also makes references to other books and websites for those who wish to research further afield, or simply read other people's experiences. I just don't think that the cover of this book does this book justice, it could be a nicer or more appealing cover. But hey... (in context) 'do not judge a book by its cover'! I really enjoyed reading this book and I hope you will too.I only gave it 5 stars because there was no more to give...

I have bought many self-help books in the past but I have to say that I read this book cover to cover tonight and I got quite emotional. Never have I read a book that has been so accurate. It matched everything I was going through to a T as I reached the stage where the author explains you feel you have lost everything in your life and your future - including the ability to have children or a family - as you feel you will never trust anyone again. That was something I was definately going through and something I always desperately wanted so much and most especially wanting to do in the right way. There is also a recovery section that goes through the steps of your emotions during the recovery phase of emotional abuse which I found quite poignant. That the victims of emotional abuse are normally the ones who carry an innocence about them who always want to help someone in need and make things better and that in turn gives them self worth, so that when you fall in love with a narcissist they normally portray this need - be it something physical that has happened to them or they tell you that you fill all their needs and they never felt like anyone like this before. This in turn makes you feel better because you feel you have 'saved' them or made them whole. In the recovery phase of emotional abuse, the author writes that you loose your innocence, that bit inside you that wants to save everyone and make things better - your light. You are always taking the negative and trying to make a positive, much of it projection, and you have to question how much of this was toxic projection from others. When you loose your light you start to see the world how it really is and realise that there are toxic people in your life, that your light would normally justify but because you have lost it, in can no longer justify these toxic people any longer. When your light is gone you can no longer fix all the broken things and you can't discover that until you have lost the light to see the world how it really is and who you truly are. As you wonder why people aren't more empathetic, compassionate, loving, creative, caring - the gentle souls that walk this earth and touch it with kindness, you begin to get angry with these people and you are quite literally put in a place where you force self-respect on yourself by setting boundaries by cutting yourself off from these types of people, because of this. At this point you begin to surround yourself with the people who share and appreciate the values you believe in and break connections with those that don't. Wow. Pretty much sums up the last two weeks of my life. The whole book was pretty exact about the last seven years of my life! Never has a book hit so close to home - it was quite an emotional experience and one also of relief that someone truly understands - because you are left in a place where you feel no one understands and you have no way out. The author takes you through each phase of recovery and how your emotions will change step-by-step as you reach the path of freedom and also finding out who you truly are. She provides hope when you have lost all faith. Not just in a compassionate sense, but in a logical sense as she can immediately relate to your journey travelled so far. She also confims that the emotions you are experiencing at each stage are normal. The abuser tries to instill in you that it is wrong to feel or express such emotions and that there is something seriously wrong with you, that you are crazy. You are in fact normal and normal, healthy human beings express and talk about their emotions, they do not keep them bottled up.

It took years for me to recover from my breakup with my ex. I had an inkling before breaking up with him that he might have been a psychopath, but it was easier and gentler on my heart and soul to believe that he did love me and it was just a relationship that went wrong. My head believed he was a psychopath, my heart did not. Years later, the word psychopath came up again and I was reminded of my ex and the question - was he really a psychopath? Is it possible that all the love and adoration I believed he felt for me was all part of a ploy? When I came across this book soon after, I was eager to read it asap. I'm so glad I did. Now, in hindsight, it is clear to me that I was in a psychopathic relationship and his flattery and praise was part of the love bombing and idealisation. I can see how he manipulated and took advantage of me. All the pieces fit together and it is reassuring to know that this has a name and that I'm not the only person who has suffered from this kind of absurd experience, which is difficult to explain to others if they haven't experienced it. It brings me peace and clarity to confirm my suspicions and to stop trying to believe the illusion of true love that I wanted to believe, even so long after breaking up and healing. I'm grateful I found the courage to leave him before I suffered even more.This book is well-written, informative, kind and positive. It is reassuring to know that victims of emotional abuse, which is now what I can recognise it as, actually have many good qualities, and that is what made us susceptible in the first place. Comprehending what happened is tough and isolating. I can see how this book would be helpful to people who suspect they are in a relationship with a psychopath or are recovering post-breakup, and I can confirm that it is also helpful to someone who has already placed the experience (mainly) in the past.

A lovely book, filled with some very good psychological insights and educational text that are both potent and meaningful in a scholar or a casual reader who wants some insight into their own life.The book details the journey and entrapment of abuse wonderfully and juxtaposes insight, fact and structured prose that makes it as much a self help book as something a nascent psychology student could read.However, there is a penchant for generalizing, categorizing and demonizing some very basic and common human malfunctions by labelling them as the tools of a malignant psychopath. There are times as well where the prose becomes manic and a little patronising. Talking to the reader as if they were in a session with a new age counsellor repairing themselves more than you with didactic dialogue that emphasizes the 'dire' in the word.However, this is few and far between so enjoy a worthwhile and elegiac book. Not for everyone but an enjoyable and insightful read.

I can only echo what others have said, similar story to be, I still find it unbelievable that a girl that I didn't even fancy and without sounding like a narcissist have no trouble attracting women and was way below my usual looks that I go for managed to get into my head and do mental damage to me leading me to depression and questioning all the seeds that she had put into my head questioning my very inner self. Not only that a woman who was overweight and out of shape actually gave me body issues and I bodybuild and have a 6 pack and muscles!!!! That's how powerful these psycological manipulators can be and although my instincts told me something was off from the start, I was intoxicated by the love bombing and powerless to stop it and to think I was actually going to dump her on the 3rd date but had quite fallen for her personality so decided to give her another week to see how it goes!!!!. After a year and one month of the relationship ending and no contact I was still in a state of depression, neediness, clingy, friends wondering what the hell has happened to the guy they all know and what has become of him until I read the book. 24 Hours later I now know I was targeted and I know why and I feel a million times better and almost back to my old self, confident happy go lucky full of life. That's the power of this book. Yes as quick as that!!!Even as I write this I kick myself for allowing that to happen, for falling for the love bombing. The book makes clear all the tricks that she used. Amazingly she even used to tell me what she was doing and hinted about psycology and I could see it coming yet I was powerless to stop it as I was intoxicated. All the lines, the words, the tricks, the feel sorry tactics, they are all explained and as others have mentioned, the "aha" moments are all there. Not only that the faults pointed out, told I have mental illness, need to see a councillor etc etc. I'm actually shaking my head in disbelief as I type this.I arrived into that relationship a very happy confident outgoing full of life person and left a quivering mess, depressed and questioning my own existence.All I can say is buy this book, it will save your life, quite literally!!!!!! It has mine and I thank the author and other contributors from the bottom of my heart!!!

I read many books about narcissistic personality disorder, borderline, emotional vampires, manipulators, etc and I must say this is the one that I found the most helpful of all of them, because the advice that is given really works (at least for me). I struggled for many years with the crazy making ex-wife of my husband who I would have no problem whatsoever to eradicate out of my life, but I can't because I have to co-parent my stepchild with this person. Needless to say that this person poisoned my life and my relationship with my hubby and stepchild from day one I entered into relationship with them....and the story is still going on.First of all, I wouldn't agree with other reviews that this book addresses mainly women in a relationship with a psychopath male. Many of the issues described in the book are spot on in my case dealing with a female borderline or narcissist.... I have also seen female narcissists at work operating in pretty much the same way.The main difficulty for me over the years, apart from not being able to simply cut this person out of my life, was that I couldn't understand why and how this person drove me angry and jealous to almost insanity level. I had never met anyone before who made me feel that way and it left me feeling very powerless. I come myself from a family line of narcissists and co-dependents and I also have a certain degree of psychoanalytical training, hence I tried to approach this problem from a transference-counter-transference angle: what is it in me that makes me react so badly to this woman, what are the inner wounds and /or dark spots in me that I need to bring to light, what do I project into this woman that makes me feel so bad, which of my unconscious complexes has been touched..... and so on.Now that I read this book I finally realised that during all these years I followed a complete wrong track by trying to analyse me, her, my childhood, my parents, god knows what... because the answer to this is simple: the woman is a psychopath who cannot stand anyone who is nicer, prettier, more popular, a better mother, happier, a more integer person, a "you name it what" than her… and because she has no control over me and my life and the love my husband and stepchild feel for me, she just tries to erode any of these features of mine by manipulating me into thinking and feeling way less of myself than I really am. When I read the chapter about the "manufactured emotions" in the book, all became clear. I realised that this woman would just drive any sane, caring and sensitive person insane. And all the feelings that I had (at times I felt like killing her) were feelings that had nothing to do with me, but that these were feelings that I had been simply been manipulated into feeling. I experienced all these nasty things exactly because this woman WANTED me to feel them!! This was a real revelation to me. Now I have a very good tool at hand to protect me for any future manoeuvres from her side - every time one of these old feelings tries to creep up I just tell myself "watch out - manifactured emotion is showing up on the horizon. Discard!"....and my problem is solved. I am so grateful that I found this book.... there are many more good points and techniques in it, like "the Constant" and others…. Definitely helpful and enlightening.

One of the best things on this subject I have read so far.There is no technical language, and no long clinical definitions, as with so many other books on the subject.Having been involved with a pathological narcissist for a few years, I have been struggling to get past this, with limited success. This book is written by someone who REALLY understands what the abused party has been through, and offers genuine hope and help for full recovery,starting right now. There is even advice for turning your experiences to your future advantage. There is a very useful list of 30 'red flags' to watch out for, and a clear stage-by-stage description of what you might expect during your recovery process. The author doesn't mince words, or skate over the more unpleasant parts, but he is gentle and humorous in his approach (some passages made me giggle out loud).If you have been (or still are) targeted by a narcissist, a psychopath or other kind of toxic emotional vampire, this is highly recommended reading. You will realise how many folks have been through this nightmare, how much real support is available, and that much of the weird oscillating back and forth between various emotional states is quite normal, and an essential part of overcoming your experience.I felt very sad at some passages, but the author helps you to face these truths very gently and kindly.All in all, a real balm for the battered self that feels it may never recover.

Livre intéressant donnant un aperçu des relations toxiques sans trop de complications. Il couvre la psychologie de base de la douleur émotionnelle et comment aller de l'avant.

I would highly recommend this book. It is easy to read and it is full of helpful information. It has helped me to understand what I am going through. It has crossed every T and dotted every i for explaining this type of emotional abuse. The book comes from the standpoint of a lover being a psychopath but I have found that it has helped me even though in my case it is a family member who is the psychopath. I have found it healing and comforting to get such validation for what I am going through. The abuse of these awful people is so underhanded sometimes we don't understand why we hurt so much. Great read!

Muy útil

I began working in branch sales for a Fortune 500 company in 2002 and met our division VP in 2003. He brought me on the National Account team and constantly flattered me and my sales performance. It worked. I sold $4 million dollars in new business when the company only projected a $1 million in new growth. I attributed my success to his being a "good boss" rather than my 14-hour work days. Then he promised me a promotion if I moved to our corporate headquarters in Memphis. I moved and soon after he told me he was in love with me, his wife was horrible to him and he couldn't work with me if I didn't return his feelings. What do you do when you're young, naive and your mentor and hero says this to you? If you're an empathetic person like me you try to save them because you think they saved you by giving you a career (what college graduate doesn't want to show their parents that?). Our (fake) love story lasted 10 years and it didn't end in the happy marriage and home life he promised, it ended with him draining me of all my money due to his alleged $150K debt from ID theft, abandoning me with his sick mother in Boston for a VP job in Torrance and beach front apartment in Palos Verdes and then he told police I stole money from his mother when she gave me money as her caregiver to buy her food and medicine and pay her bills while he was away. How did I feel after he destroyed my life? Not angry. Instead, I felt dazed or blamed myself. Why did he have me arrested when he dumped his responsibilities on me and I was only trying to help? What did I do wrong to make him stop loving me? How could he want sex on Friday (fortunately I was too tired after spending two months on renovations he ordered on his mother's house while he was away), dump me on Saturday (an hour after the final walk through with the contractors), scream at me on Sunday he's going to see to it I rot in prison for larceny, and then have me arrested on Monday, catch a plane back to CA for work, tell my crying mother he doesn't have to listen to her sh*t and that night goes on Facebook and likes football photos of my nephews on my brother's page? Furthermore, since my parents foiled his plans to see me rot in prison, he got a restraining order against me so I can't collect my pets, furniture, clothes and personal property for 6 months. Because the judge issued a no contact order with his mother, he left my little dogs with her so I can't call her to ask how they are doing or arrange a pick-up. I am amazed how well he knows how to use the law to continue to hurt me. I never knew justice could be perverted. That's what the soulless do. Fortunately, my parents got me out of jail after 17 days (I've only been before a judge for a speeding ticket so that should tell how good of a storyteller these psychopaths are) and took their suicidal daughter (who suffered a miscarriage her 3rd day in jail) home and immediately got me into counseling. I cried everyday for 3 months and when I broke down and called him he yelled at me how I ruined his life because he has to quit his job and go back to Boston to take care of his mother. That was it. I was a non-person to him. I couldn't understand how this was the same man who love bombed me in 2003 and told me for years he would hunt me down and kill me if I ever left him. I couldn't believe this was the real him. Through therapy I came to understand words like narcissist, sociopath and psychopath. I didn't want to believe he was one but then again the behaviors they engage in was like checklist on our relationship. I couldn't ignore the obvious. It was time to get educated. So far this is my favorite book on the subject. It discusses the psychopath but it also discusses the good hearts of their targets and how what feels like weakness because love is used against the victim it is actually our greatest strength towards recovery and finding the real love we want and deserve. I had to see the ugliness to understand what (TF?!) happened to me but I needed hope too and I think this book offers that. I also recommend yoga as part of this healing process. I'm doing it everyday and yes, my body is as weak (he hated it when I went to the gym because he'd accuse me of flirting with other men so I stopped going to please him instead of seeing how he was erasing my ID) as my spirit feels but being patient with my body as it gets stronger teaches me to be patient with my spirit too. Self care is so important in the recovery stage. Many people who love me want me to hurry up and heal and move on because they hate seeing me hurt but what it does is make me feel guilty because I can't. What my body teaches me is strength takes practice and time and that makes me feel okay that the spirit does do. This whole process hurts like hell and you will be a mess afterwards but this book is like a friend who gets it and walks you through the process. I highly recommend it.

Dieses ist die erste Rezension überhaupt,die ich schreibe.Dies ist die erste Rezension, die ich schreibe. Ich bin so begeistert von diesem Buch. Als von einer Missbrauchsbeziehung Betroffene, die sich verhältnismäßig früh lösen konnte, habe ich mir dieses Buch als Begleiter gekauft und es nicht bereut. Im Gegensatz zu deutschen Büchern, wird hier dem Opfer nicht geraten, sich selber zu hinterfragen, Das tun die Opfer solcher Beziehungen ja sowieso ständig. MacKenzie hat den ,wie ich finde,sehr sinnvollen Ansatz, verstehen zu wollen, wie der Missbraucher tickt um sich schützen zu können. Das ist ihm erstklassig gelungen. Sehr gut recherchiert aber einfühlsam wie ein Freund, begleitet er den Leser auf der schwierigen Reise der Ablösung vom Missbraucher. Mir selber ist es dadurch um einiges leichter geworden, den Kontakt zum Täter nicht mehr aufzunehmen. Und nun, nachdem ich das Buch ausgelesen und zugeklappt habe, fühle ich mich stark. Wenngleich auch ein wenig traurig, dass ich meinen Tröster verlassen muss. Zu dem Buch gibt es einen Selbsthilfeblog gleichen Namens. Auch das ist mir eine grosse Hilfe. Jemand, der eine solche Beziehung nicht durchgemacht hat, kann nicht nachempfinden, wie schwer es ist, sich davon zu lösen. Dass biochemische Vorgänge im Körper das Opfer abhängig vom Täter machen, weiss kaum jemand. Umso schwieriger für das Opfer, wenn es sich gutgemeinte Ratschläge,wie,:,"Trenne dich doch einfach", anhören muss. Jackson MacKenzie hat selbst so eine Beziehung durchgemacht und man merkt ihm an, dass er weiss,wie schwer die Ablösung ist. Aber, wie viele andere auch, weiss er, dass sie zu schaffen ist. Und, ich habe es am Anfang nicht für möglich gehalten, aber ich bin stärker als jemals zuvor und möchte die Erfahrung nicht missen. Ich weiss jetzt, wer ich bin und was ich wert bin.Thank You very much Jackson for writing this book. It helped me over my darkest days with compassion and love. I made this terrible experience with my abuser but now, Thanks to You, I raised like a Phoenix from the ashes and feel stronger than before. I now know, who I am and like You promised me, I know now that I deserve much,much better. You have been a friend when I needed one, even though I have never known You personally. Thank You for writing this book.