Aikido in Everyday Life: Giving in to Get Your Way

A fundamental premice of the `aiki' (`confluence') philosophy advocated by Terry Dobson in his excellent book, which is all about conflict resolution, is that an aggressor is a person who is out of balance and badly needs help. Our noble task is, therefore, to help him regain his balance, by skillfully `flowing' with him, which neither means allowing ourselves to be trampled by him nor destroying our opponent (as we may often be tempted to...). The book is written in a very warm style, is easy to understand, makes for an entertaining reading, and its simple concepts DO work. This little gem is a must-read for everyone, as it is a true life-changer. In my opinion it should be mandatory high school reading. I join the previous reviewers in my sincere thanks to the late Terry Dobson for such a precious gift, which I have been sharing with my fiends (I bought several copies to give them away). MM

The book gives a fresh perspective on how to deal with conflict in everyday life, glad to have read it.

I read this book over a year ago and enjoyed it very much. I train in aikido and this book made me think about the philosophy of aikido in daily life. I have had to deal with different situations which could have become explosive in a "non attack" way but whether this is due to me changing in the past two years and becoming more relaxed, due to my aikido training and becoming more "centred" or if this book helped in any way I have no idea...

Good product

Nice clean copy. Exactly like new.

This book is badly written - there is little doubt about it. Indeed the first few chapters are a bit of a slog to get through - I admit that too. But then there is something that sparks to life like a burning match - as the authors explain the psychology of aikido and verbal hosility. They then present the subject in terms of various shapes. Ordinarily such a notion would be lost on me but when you really think about its sense you begin to understand that you can win most arguments hands down - and mostly by taking care of the agressor. By that I mean showing that you care.There are obvious striking faults with this book. It hasn't aged very well and so on, but I would never dare to sell or lend out my personal copy, not for a thousand pounds. I keep my copy safe. I know I will need it one day again - probably when I have forgotten to understand my oponent.I am very careful nowadays never to say something cruel even to the nastiest of people because of this book. Why? What are we taught to do when somebody says or does something bad towards us? Well we hit them back or say something horrid in return. They then do or say something much worse - until such a time the argument has spiraled out of control or until one side gives in. That is inneficient in terms of energy and success. If your opponent is prepared to hit harder than you or say something more hurtful, you're done for.Have none of it, Aikido and this book will show you how to deal with difficult people and difficult situations as if you were fighting them on the mat at your local aikido club.You've read thus far, you must be interested in this book, therefore buy it! You can only lose a few pounds. If I am wrong you can always mark this review down!You will have got your revenge on me! What have you got to lose? I'd give the book to the General of the British Army if I could - we'd have a much more peaceful world that's for sure!!!

This is a must read book for everyone and every age group. You will keep reading and transforming yourself and a positive way. When I read each time, I see what I never see and become aware of what I never thought will ever know.

OK

Because I was afraid to try the martial art of Aikido, I instead decided to try this book. In an age where stress is such a huge factor in most people's far too busy lives, having a way to find calm and focus that does not have to be highly physical can be a blessing for anyone. This book describes how to negotiate in any kind of interaction by coming alongside rather than trying to overcome whatever is the "enemy". Finding that center of controlled energy and focus within our own body/mind/spirits is a huge asset. And the final sections of the book point out what is our greatest enemy: our own selves. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to find a source of connection with that inner power we all have to be centered and not controlled by our fight/flight/freeze biology.

Para desarrollo personal. Es práctico y con una filiosofia armoniosa con La Vida

Very powerful content. I am using it both personally and professionally. It is really helping me in resolving conflicts in the most desirable manner.

Bellissimo libro di Dobson, non strettamente legato all'aikido ma più alla filosofia che si trova intorno. molto bello, lo consiglio.

I've used this book both personally and professionally in both a hospital and a university counseling environment ever since the book first came out in hardback back in the 70's. Granting some of the complaints of previous reviewers, the examples Dobson gives are now a bit out of date (Dobson cannot update them; he died a few years ago), but I have yet to have a college student fail to make his or her own update with little problem. Contrary to some of the negative reviewers' comments, I personally have found the book extremely useful, and so have the majority of the people I have introduced the book to over the years. I've especially had a number of university students tell me the book was very useful in helping them deal with their problematic professors, parents, girlfriends or boyfriends. Possibly some of the negative reviewers were hampered by the fact that they were reading the book all by themselves, without any counseling assistence or prior aikido training to help them fully orient to the concepts presented in the text. Without a doubt, the "geometry of conflict" theory presented in the book is sometimes quite arcane to the uninitiated. Nonetheless, the writing style is friendly, conversational and-- I find-- entertaining. As a supplement to Dobson, I also recommend people read "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith-- the original assertiveness training book. With a little creative thought and persistent practice, the techniques in both of these books are extremely useful. Not magic, not a quick fix, but the techniques work if you work at them.