How We Talk: The Inner Workings of Conversation

I was fascinated to read about how people really talk. Not only did I learn that "ums" and "ahs" are parts of speech that convey meaning, this book helped me understand why I find it difficult to converse with certain people. However, I think that the author went a little too deep into the weeds for a book that seems intended for a lay audience. This book could easily have been chopped down by at least a third without losing the most interesting and the most important points.

Not for the professional but interesting to the general public like myself. I found it it a useful reminder to be a good listener and I found some of the referenced research very interesting.

This is a great book even for people who are not linguists. This is a book that is clearly written so that the reader can understand it from an outside perspective. I definitely recommend it!

The book reviews research projects about conversions. For example: what is the timing of the breaks between the speakers and which words (such as Hum) are added to the conversation. I fail to see why this field of research is interesting – there are neither practical implications nor conclusions that are relevant to big questions about our cognition.

Interesting, provocative and engaging. Good read.

A book easy to understand. Helped to to understand the pauses in our speech -- um uh and, etc. Gave it to my son.

I gave this book 4 stars, rather than 5, because it felt like the book is much longer than it needs to be. It is 256 pages, but easily could have been condensed to half or a quarter of that size. Sure, most people may not want to buy a 64 page book -- but I'd rather buy a 64 page book that I can read in a quarter the time.With that out of the way, the book is excellent. Most of it was a pretty easy read for me (someone who has never studied linguistics). And the subject is unique. The book covers something that (as far as I know) no other books cover: the part of conversation that gets removed when written down. It covers "um" and "uh", the timings between turns in conversations, as well as "repair" (when you don't hear or understand something and need it repeated).Nearly hidden in the message of the book is something I am interested in: what makes people seem a bit "odd" in conversations. For example, if you pause too long before taking your turn, or if you constantly interrupt people, people will notice that something is off. The example in the book is on page 45 where the author covers journalists that kept interrupting Margaret Thatcher (it has to do with the speed and pitch used to signal the end of her turn; journalists thought she was ending her turn when in fact she was not done yet). Although only this one example is discussed, while reading the book you can imagine a number of different scenarios where this could be an issue. For example, a delayed response often suggests an unwillingness to do what is asked (usually with a good reason), so someone who is slow in answering questions will be perceived differently than someone who is quicker in answering questions (e.g. thinking that you are reluctant to do something you are happy to do).For computer geeks, here's an analogy: linguistics (the study of language) is like studying HTML (the code used to create web pages) and HTTP (the transport mechanism that explains how a client retrieves a web page from a server). Both linguistics and HTML/HTTP would be happy if all information could be transmitted instantly. This book, however, is like studying TCP (the lower level transport mechanism that handles the connection between a client and a server). When retrieving a web page, if there is a corrupt packet is received, TCP (OK, IP/ICMP may play a role too) takes care of getting the server to re-send the packet, and if you are getting information faster than you can process it, a "source quench" may get sent to the server. In a conversation, if you don't hear what someone said, or someone is speaking too fast, you might say "Huh?". When retrieving a web page, TCP may send a "keepalive" that checks to make sure the other side hasn't dropped the connection. With conversation, you may say "Uh" or "Um" to indicate that while you have been silent for a brief period of time, you are planning on saying something.

Neither the subject of time in conversations nor the author's style gripped me. That might be my fault. But it resulted in a reading a book without much pleasure (or learning).

It's an interesting analysis but Enfield writes as if he discovered conversation. No mention of Gumperz, rare mentions of Goodwin or Goffman. They looked at human conversation from the 70's on...

Most interesting account of the 'operating system' that we all naturally use to keep conversation running on track. In a simple and easy to read style, Enfield shows how we communicate meta-information about the state of our conversations as we cooperate with others.