Thrive: The Single Life as God Intended

As a single Christian, I wanted to like this book - I really did. But after finishing it, I honestly can't give it more than 3-3.5 stars. Here's my reasoning:Pros:1) The book does a great job of diagnosing the difficulties with singleness: loneliness, self-pity, self-control, contentment, etc. It hit the nail on several areas that I have wrestled with and didn't pull any punches in revealing them. Commendable.2) Lina was able to adequately diagnose singleness because she knows it well herself (40 and single, with two broken engagements). I appreciated her sharing her story and being honest about her struggles.3) Throughout the book and especially in the last chapter, Lina shares stories of singles who lived fully for God and great insights from other authors. I really enjoyed these types of encouragement, although reading full biographies gives better context to their struggles and difficulties.Cons:1) However, while I appreciate the apt diagnosis of the problems in singleness, I felt the book's solution to each problem was grounded in a list of tips and suggestions (more to-do's than anything) of what has worked for the author. This was disappointing, because while it gave me practical helps to deal with the diagnosis - it did not give me the motivation to do so. It felt like another laundry list of things I needed to work on in order to thrive, which only added weight. There were times when Lina seemed like she was going to point to the gospel as motivation, but they were too quick and far in between. In fact, it wasn't until chapter 11 (about 4/5 of the way through the book) that this was explicitly stated as the solution - and even then it felt muted. Why didn't she put that chapter at the beginning if it really changes everything written before?Doesn't Jesus know about loneliness when his friends abandoned him in the garden of Gethsemane at his time of need (Mk 14:32-42)? Doesn't Jesus know what it's like to have to wait for his wedding day with his bride, the church (Rev 19:6-10)? These things motivate me to love and focus on Jesus rather than focusing on myself and working on a laundry list of to-do's so that I can thrive as a single. I felt like Lina wanted me to get my eyes of myself, but rather than showing me the beauty of Christ - she gave me a list of things to do.2) While I appreciated Lina's honesty in sharing her story, I will say that I felt the tone throughout the book was along the lines of: "here's something I used struggle with, but now it's not an issue any more." I don't know Lina, and I want to give her the benefit of a doubt as a sister in Christ, because I value her courage and transparency - but I couldn't shake the feeling that she wrote as someone who had arrived rather than a fellow traveler. I felt patronized at times, which added to the weight and burden.3) I wish there was more time spent in actually digging into the text. It all felt very surface level, and often just a smattering of texts and examples thrown at me quickly. Even when the majority of the book looked at 1 Corinthians 7, there was nothing said about the context: why are these commands about singleness given in light of "this present distress" (7:26), and why does Paul mention "the appointed time has grown very short" (7:29)? I wish that there could have been deeper study shown at least to back her exposition of passages, rather than just citing Wikipedia and Dictionary.com.So although the book was helpful for it's diagnosis, it is not a book I will re-read. I kept wanting her to take me to the proper motivation instead of to more lists of to-do's, but never got what I wanted substantially.[As a side note: the best thing I have read on singleness is Tim Keller's seventh chapter in his excellent book  The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God . I would recommend Keller's book as a book worth reading and re-reading (as I plan to do again).]

A friend recommended this book to me, and I was initially hesitant to give it a shot. I wasn't looking for a Christian chick flick commiseration manual. I didn't want to be talked down to, and I didn't want a bubble headed pep talk on positivity. The general Amazon description does not really give the impression that you are about get whacked over the head with truth. You might come away expecting the author to use phrases beginning with "Girlfriend, have I got a hint.....".I didn't expect a raw, honest look at a (STILL) single womans life, that is not laced with tips to escape the "dreaded state". Thrive is a good title.Yes, I read through the entire book and finished it in (almost) one sitting. No, I would not recommend it to someone who was young, wide eyed and unready to deal head-on with some pervasive and serious sins involving sexuality - there is some tough stuff in there. And yet, the book is not one that wallows in lusts and exagerates sins of that nature above other equally "sinful" sins such as pride, self-centredness etc. In all, one chapter covers those things.I found the book to be straight talking, biblically based and very forthright in dealing with situations and failures in the authors own life. In fact, I can't think of a book that I've read in which an author has been so honest. Not the usual "Woe is me, I used to be such a sinner....." type of drivel either. It feels like a close friend sitting down and confessing / discussing struggles, temptations, triumphs and strategies for overcoming sin, and getting to root causes of it. And *not* pretending like they have it allllll sorted out now.This is not a book which is going to meet us in our single state, and offer fluffy pink hugs and hot chocolate. In fact, it gives several well placed (if metaphorical) boots in the behind. ;) The thing is, THIS IS NOT WRITTEN BY A MARRIED PERSON. Or even an engaged person. There is no trumped up "there, there..." sympathy. The author is 40, has had 2 broken engagements, and instead of milking that, talks openly about those experiences and how she learned and grew through / from them.There are no magical formulas to follow in order to get more dates. No lists of "10 top qualities to look for in a husband". No opening lines you can use at singles meeting, to discover "that hot guy's" spiritual gifting. The author is fairly intent on uncovering our idolatry of marriage, and calling us to thrive, grow, prosper, flourish in our relationship with the Lord, and in our lives RIGHT NOW. And she does it splendidly.In summary, this book is about living a life of dedication and worship towards our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. About glorifying Him in every area, that others might know our lives are full, because HE has filled us. It's a must read.

I just started reading this book but it was a bit of a turnoff. The author of this book should be more honest and open about herself possibly even with herself. I think she enjoys being single but doesn't want to be thought of as a prude, boring, unattractive, you know the bad things people would think of you if you live a celibate life which is a real concern. She was engaged twice but called off the wedding both times. Is it a fear of commitment? Thats also understandable. I don't think she was really in a place to write this book quite yet.I'll give an update but this is my opinion now.Ok. I finished the book and I do think she comes from a very privileged position. She is a doctor and was quickly accepted into a ministry position at her church for example. She never talks about if she wanted a family. And what about those who go to church for years and try to be involved but don't get much of a response or who live in a small town where not much is available? I've been going to a particular church for over a year and barely have been spoken to even when I do get involved. There is not much going on and there is no singles group that I can find near where I live. I'm looking for a different church but still. What about those who struggle with forming friends? What about those in areas where there is just not much to do? What if your job takes much of your time? I'm a divorced single and lost custody of my son. I try to do the right thing and seek God but I don't know if He's mad at me or what because my life just isn't going great and I'm not sure how to improve it in my current circumstances. I need a new job so I'll have more time and energy to volunteer. That is a big thing I see missing in my life and pursuing interests. I want the life God has for me but seems like I always mess things up.

This is the best, most refreshing book I have ever read on single life as a Christian. Lina writes with raw honesty, humor, personal transparency, practicality, compassion and Biblical truth broken down into real life applicability. She does not cushion the truth yet she speaks with humility from a place of personal experience and identification. And throughout the entire book she inspires you to do just what the title says - Thrive!

Lina speaks about faith and the challenges of singleness in a frank and candid way. Using examples from her own life and grounded in scriptural truth, she outlines the ways in which one can live a purpose-filled life regardless of marital status. I HIGHLY recommend it.

This book is great in much of what it says, but my greatest critique is her inaccuracy. She was not careful on details and so included specifically biblical details that were simply not accurate and should have been caught by her and/or her editor. I may use it for my curriculum, but I am not sure I could use it without giving a fair number of explanations.

Love this Author!