Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Every woman should read this to fuel authentic growth and empowerment.

"I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only’. Not ‘as long as’. I matter equally. Full stop." This book is a very small book (65 pages) with very important messages. I wanted to highligh everything. Please read it! The text that follows is a personal sharing and not a comment on the book. Is is about my journey and why I am commited to educating myself about privile and feminism. Consider yourself warned, be gentle and proceed with caution. I grew up with 5 brothers and all my life I did the same things they did: I loved stories, I played with legos, I had dolls but also cars and Dinosaurs (barbies use to ride a T-Rex), I had a bike and rollerblades and loved them. I did not like football, but not all of them did anyway, and it was mostly because of my clumsiness. I run in parks, climbed trees and got dirty. I did this almost always wearing a dress or leggins because of the freedom of movement. I was always able to choose my own clothes, except when we had lunch with my grandparents. I grew loving books, music and board games. I love Star Wars and Lord of the Rings as well as Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid and Alladin (We all still know these movies by heart). I was always absolutely convinced I would study STEM subjects. My father advised me to choose any engineering course (because I loved math and physics) but I chose biochemistry. I hated it so much that I wanted to get as far away from the subject as possible and went on to study management, specializing in finance. I did not know how privileged I was when I was growing up. In fact, I am still learning about privilege in general. I knew I was privileged in many areas of my life: I grew up with a family, I was able to study and have nothing significant lacking in my life. I am aware that this is a huge amount of privilege obviously, what I didn’t understand was how lucky I was to grow in a family that teach me I could be whatever I wanted. When I started going to interviews I was asked if I had a boyfriend, when was I planning to have kids and if I felt comfortable travelling since it would affect the family. When I started working in corporate finance we were 8 women in approximately 40 employees and only one was a Director. When I started going to client board meetings I was almost always the only woman in the room. In 10 years of consultancy I only spoke with 3 women with decision making power and only one of them was CEO. When we decided to have kids I really wanted a girl because of the extra challenge of preparing her for a world that it is still not equal for women. I wanted to raise a girl to be whatever she wants but aware of her privilege, as well as the dificulties she might face. Little did I know about the immensity of a challenge it is. I know what I want to teach her and is absolutely in line with everything written in this book. The problem is educating society. Society begins to invent gender roles even before they are born! I keep explaining to my husband’s family the kind of toys and clothes I want and go on receiving kitchen appliances and pink babies. At this point, I am not even sure if she really likes pink and purple or if it was manipulated by the tons of pink objects available in the world (I try to choose everything in happy colours to counterbalance but it is a challenge). I keep seeing friends and family raising their kids with gender biases and its tricky to interfere as nobody likes to be told what to do. Gender injustice is real, but I always have to prove its existence and its exhausting. Even the friends that acknowledge gender injustice have difficulty in understanding that a lot of their actions and language are gender biased. I feel very lucky with my life and what I have accomplished. I want to see more females in positions of power. I want it not to feel like luck and to be available to all women. I will keep educating myself and force my friends do the same and eventually we will #BreakTheBias.

This book may seem light and simple but is really quite profound. She is the first person that acknowledges sexism is more prevalent than racism-and she is African! Sexism exists in every race and involves half of humanity. If only people could see that it is freeing for men as well as women.

There's a tiny stack of parenting books from which I choose gifts for new parents - the books either help shift perspective into parenting mode or offer important insights and guidance in an accessible way. I'm pleased to add this little gem to my collection. Adichie, through her writing, has the ability to strip what matters and why down to its essence and then offers it up plainly, with little fanfare. She reminds me a bit of Hemingway that way - each word carefully chosen, and beneath each written sentence, an iceberg of ideas and consideration. Her fifteen suggestions for raising a feminist daughter are not necessarily profound: raise your daughter to value her inherent worth, to live in a world of diversity, to be proud of her heritage and her sex, to never tie morality to fashion. To be kind - but also to expect kindness. Basically, raise her to see herself as a person who matters, who deserves respect and should offer that respect in kind; show her that her opinions and perspectives matter because they're hers - and that she needn't acquiesce to popular thought or opinion. My biggest complaint is that, with very little restructuring, this book can (and in my view, should) be revised to "how to raise a feminist" - both boys and girls should be raised in the manner Adichie suggests, and with the ideas she promotes.

In Dear Ijeawele: A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie offers a deeply personal yet universally relevant guide on raising a child to embrace gender equality. Written as a letter to a friend seeking advice on raising her daughter, Adichie blends poignant storytelling with incisive social critique, crafting a work that is both accessible and profoundly impactful. A central theme is the dismantling of gender roles. Adichie emphasizes the importance of teaching children that "gender is not an indicator of ability" and encourages questioning societal norms that perpetuate inequality. Her advice to empower girls by prioritizing self-worth over societal expectations is both timely and transformative. Reading this book reshaped my understanding of feminism, highlighting the subtle ways gender biases manifest in everyday life. Adichie’s candid examples—from language choices to the division of domestic labor—compelled me to reflect on my own actions and assumptions. While the book’s conversational tone makes it engaging, its brevity sometimes leaves certain ideas underexplored. Readers seeking more depth may find themselves wanting additional context or examples. Overall, Dear Ijeawele is an inspiring and practical guide for fostering equality. Its simplicity is its strength, making it a must-read for parents and anyone committed to a more equitable world.

Adoro questo libro, si può leggere tranquillamente in un'ora o anche meno. È bellissimo.

Libro de ágil lectura, súper-interesante e indispensable para cualquier persona que quiera educar a los más pequeños en unos valores cívicos, democráticos y justos. Feminismo del sentido común.

Perfect book for everyone, adults and kids no matter the gender or age

Si me preguntaran qué cosas cambiaría sobre cómo fui educada desde niña, pediría que lo hicieran así como propone Chimamanda. Me parece una reflexión bastante significativa sobre lo que significa, para otros y para una misma, nacer mujer. Me encantó la manera de abordar ciertas cuestiones, de visibilizarlas y de plantear una formación diferente. Quisiera que hubiera profundizado más en ciertas cuestiones, pero igual pienso que la extensión favorece el ritmo de lectura.

I loved every word expressed especially as in most cases it took the words off the tip of my tongue - thoughts out of my subconscious, lifted the feelings in my heart. I would have preferred to listen to Chimamanda reading as I always feel her spirit whenever I hear her speak. All the same her voice rings in my ears as I hear and read each word. Still I appreciated the reader who did it justice. I have recommended this book to all my friends and family. I am the single mother of a son born to a Nigerian father. Pregnant at the age of 29 and single parent out of my expression of female and Independence and feminism during a period in my life when I walked the talk which Chimamanda exposes. So proud of my one son who chooses beautiful pink or yellow shirts for his son knowing that it flatters his son's complexion. In particular I look forward to hearing from my Trinidadian cousin who recalls my 'Nigerian' accent whenever he hears Chimamanda speak. He refers to the way he 'understood' me in those years (1970's) when during the Biafran war my late father 'allowed' me at the age of 15 to leave Lagos for Trinidad and know my estranged mother in Port of Spain for the first time. Chimamanda expresses rules for humanity and gives reasons for each and every one for the benefit of every race or creed. At my age of 67 Chimamanda confirms for me that I have followed most of these suggestions like commandments in order to survive my life as a single parent. As a convent girl both in Lagos and Port of Spain I was well versed in the study of Catechism. By being 'that' feminist in my twenties I have survived a guilt free single parent life-style and kept my sanity and confidence through all that life has thrown my way especially as a black woman here in London. I have learnt to not question my son wearing dread locks when he started university and respect his need to assert his race, creed and sexuality in his own way. Thank you Chimamanda