22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome Paperback – May 15, 2009

I have to admit that this is the first book about AS that I have read. I had seen a book on a shelf once with a picture of a child with eyes tightly squeezed shut. Title: Open your #$%@$# eyes! My husband has always had a terribly hard time looking at people. Even me! Some people accused him of being insincere or dishonest and he even once lost a job because of it. I am ever so grateful to Rudy Simone for the ease of reading and understanding in this book. First an explanation of the statement, then a case picture of a couple and how it played out for them, then a quote or 2 or 3 from an Aspie man about the topic and then a positive spin for the woman to put on the "problem." I felt so glad about this and what I learned and could see how burned out both of us are after 41 years of marriage (separate rooms by the 8th year and now separate dwellings and LOTS of horrid fights, tears, suicide attempts, prayers, counseling from Pastors and therapists who did not have a clue!) He had NEVER been dx'd and even though I became a licensed therapist I had no idea either! Finally I read something aimed at the woman in the relationship and something aimed at adults rather than techniques to help or train children on the spectrum. --All this to say that maybe a 5 is too high but I am so happy I'd give a 10! My husband was willing to read it (an utter miracle because he is almost never willing to read something I suggest!) but for some dang reason Amazon does not allow lending of this book on my Kindle. I talked to Amazon customer service and the guy at the call center did not know why some books do and some don't. Boo Hoo doesn't begin to cover my irritation at this glitch. Reading this one though led me to get a couple of other Aspie couples books (didn't even know were out there.) And to renew discussions w hubby as he was officially dx'd but by a therapist whom he considers a kook. Rudy Simone mentions how important to have a doctor and/or therapist who knows about AS. OK, but, uh, seriously, where do we find such? It would improve the book if you had an appendix with such lists in the back.----Anyway, thank you for clear, simple, short, to the point with no criticisms or put downs and with excellent tips so I already see improvement for us.

This book is about neurotypical women who love men with Asperger's Syndrome. And, so when reading it, I assumed it was written by a neurotypical woman. Throughout this book, it seemed that if this book was written by a neurotypical woman, then she was very depressed, and in a horrible relationship with her Aspie husband of a few years that was quickly falling apart and headed for divorce.After I finished it, I did some research online, and the author actually has Asperger's syndrome, too. This made me rethink most of my criticisms of this book. What I took for depression and a bad marriage was actually just the overly severe and compartmentalized way that Aspies can describe things.This book is mostly written to depressed spouses of men with Asperger's Syndrome. This book will not help you out of your depression, because it's too depressing, but it will let you know that there are tons of other women like you that suffer through the same things. I guess that is one of the first steps of dealing with depression, so maybe it does help a little bit.It's very informative, and covers a ton of good information. Here are some examples of the 22 points: "There will probably be no public displays of affection," "He will take you and the relationship for granted," "There will be times when he embarrasses you," and "People will tell you he's just being a man." The topics hard to read, but they're important to read.This book also represents a diagnosis as the panacea for Asperger's. My guess is that a diagnosis helped a lot in the author's life, and I'm sure that often men with Asperger's will listen to the person making the diagnosis more than they listen to anyone else. But I think that the decision of a diagnosis can be a lot more complex than this book makes it out to be, and a piece of paper just by itself never did anything to anybody. So, I wish that the book had at least one step to do after you got a diagnosis.Overall, it's a very detailed and interesting book, if you're careful with the depressing parts.Pros:+A lot of detailed information about Asperger's Syndrome+Fills a needed niche+Short, but not too short. I read it in about two hours.Cons:-Depressing-Will probably make you think twice about a relationship with an Aspie-Even though the book tries to be positive, even the "Positive Note" sections can be depressing-Doesn't give enough details about why a diagnosis is a cure-all

This is a good little book which gives an accurate but brief overview of the most common issues that arise in a relationship with a man who has Asperger Syndrome. I think it would be a very good choice of book to read if you have a friend or loved one who is in a relationship with an Aspie and you want to know more and understand their situation. But if you are actually in a relationship with an Aspie, you will need more than just this book, and I recommend highly the Kathy Marshack book and also "Alone Together" by Katrin Bentley. Still, it is a useful addition and in particular, has a nice positive comment at the end of each chapter, re how to see the positive side of each difficult trait/issue. I believe there is a lot you can learn and grow from in a relationship with an Aspie, so it is nice to see these positive comments, encouraging an empowered attitude rather than sinking into despair.

Excelente!

Rudy Simone is one of the easiest to read experts in the field of Aspergers. Her books are a true field guide to dealing with the challenges of an autism disorder. Got this for my son to give to his girlfriend. It is very informative.

Non conoscevo l'esistenza di questo libro che consiglio a tutti coloro i quali debbano o abbiano dovuto interfacciarsi con persone affette da Sindrome di Aspergere. Con un linguaggio semplice e affrontando situazione per situazione, l'autrice spiega in maniera chiara quali siano i comportamenti, i motivi e come attutire l'impatto che spesso risulta spiazzante e fuorviante. Un libro che sarebbe bello se esistesse in italiano.

I found in this book all the answers to my questions... After a long struggle to know what was wrong in the relationship with my boyfriend, and finally checked about asperger's syndrom, this book (recommended by a wife of an AS man on a forum) was an enlightment.It's simple to read, with a pinch of humor and, over all, positive ways to go futher the problems you might encounter in such a relationship. Everything is in it. Read it!

This book totally opened my eyes.i identified with with so many topics covered and it had me stepping out of thinking like a silly female who believes she can do anything because it's love right? Wrong... This bookHas me questioning if i can love someone who will one day abandon me. I'm not saying I'm ready to run I'm saying I am being more cautious before considering any form of commitment