Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More and Argue Less As Your Family Grows – An Evenhanded Guide for Spouses to Stay Connected During the Early Parenting Years

This book is phenomenal and I wish I could give it 10 stars. Not only is it smart, well-written and organized, and highly entertaining, it's also insightful and solution-oriented. I've read a number of books on marriage and parenting, but none that ever combined the two the result is one of the best books I've read in years. This book will clearly be bought and read predominantly by women, but I'd say it gives near-equal billing to men (not bad for female authors) and does an excellent job of telling the male side of the story. The authors seem to truly empathize with the largely untold story of men having their worlds turned upside down (albeit not nearly as much as women) by parenthood. One day they are the center of their spouse's universe (and vice versa) and the next they are relegated to secondary status. The book does an excellent job of describing why this is necessarily (and temporarily) so. Simply stated, if moms didn't focus 100% of their attention on babies, the human species wouldn't survive. Similarly, if males were not so focused on sex (before and after having kids), the human species wouldn't survive either. This powerful idea arguably explains the bulk of male-female disconnect, post-kids. Speaking of sex, the chapter on that subject is amazing and well worth the price of the book alone. The 5-minute fix, which some people might take issue with, is probably not for everyone. But it takes up 1 page out of nearly 300, and as with every suggestion in the book, it's soft-pedaled and clearly stated as something to think about rather than a strong recommendation. The other chapters are full of excellent and entertaining advice - from managing in-laws and multiple kids to striving for life balance (yeah right). My favorite part of the book was the end, which provides heartwarming reflections from grandparents. Most importantly, early parenthood is JUST A PHASE, not unlike military boot-camp. If couples work hard TOGETHER and respect each other's needs and idiosyncrasies, the ultimate payoff is incredible, and your marriage can grow stronger due to parenthood. I've read a number of blog reviews on the book and they seem to be overwhelmingly positive. There are a couple of negative reviews, which I suppose is to be expected from a book that's original and opinionated. The funny thing is, most of the controversial/offensive stuff in the book comes from interview quotes rather than the authors themselves. Anything that might come across as offensive is likely meant to be humorous (and this book is really funny). If anything, the authors are extremely balanced and non-judgmental, which is impressive given the controversial nature of the subject material. I can see where feminists might take issue with some of the content, but I see A LOT more here that feminists would embrace. Parts (as with any good book) require at least a somewhat open mind. That said, I think the political substance here is very very mainstream. Anyone who's mildly curious as to the subject matter of this book owes it to themselves to give it a try. It's had a profound impact on how I think about marriage and parenthood, which will ultimately make me a better parent and a better spouse.

I read a negative review before I read this book. The review said the book took a very negative approach to parenthood. I disagree. Everyone knows being a mother or father is magically wonderful. But everyone also finds out the hard way that having a baby will to some degree really rock your marriage! I think the book took a real approach. Parenthood is the best thing in the world!!! However it is the most challenging thing for your marriage and relationship at the same time. I know I am not alone. It seems like all couples go through the same or similar trials/frustrations/contention when a baby comes into the family, but not everyone realizes that it is not just them! It is universal and this book is spot on. It first describes the common "issues" your relationship faces and explains why there is the disconnect and how men and women think differently about things. My husband said it was scary how accurate this book was. He said, "Even if I don't want to admit it, some of the things this book said about how I am and how I'm thinking is probably true." It is based on thousands of interviews with parents all over the country over several years. The writers found the most common issues and tried to get to the bottom of what causes them and how to overcome them. It gives simple, common sense, humorous, easy to follow advice and explains the logic behind it. Example: (in my terms) "Have more sex---it will stregthen your marriage. Once a week is not too much to ask and a necessary minimum to keep everything peaceful and healthy. It is amazing what a 'five minute fix' can do to remotivate a man and help him feel loved and appreciated." Seriously following this books advise (and having both partners on the same page) will bring your relationship back to the greatness of the pre-baby times. Wouldn't that be great? To have the amazing experience of parenthood co-exsist with the blissful times of the pre-baby relationship? It is possible and this book will get you back there.

Overall I thought this book was great for new moms/dads, regardless of whether you are expecting your first child, just had your first child, or have two toddlers (my case). There was so much I got out of the book, but mainly learning that we are not alone in our marital issues. I actually felt a sense of relief after only reading the first few pages (yes, I am a martyr, a scorekeeper, etc). The authors provide some good tips on how to not play these types of games with your spouse. Also, I enjoyed reading many of the quotes/testimonials from the men, as it helped shed some light into how they think. Again, good book...I think it's worth picking up or even buying as a gift for soon-to-be or new parents.

I just finished reading this book, and I have to say that it is great and has a wonderful sense of humor. It is more catered to the woman, but it offers a lot of great tips in having more patience with your spouse while having a crying baby around, and ways to keep your marriage strong when it's hard to make time for each other. I don't know if I would let my husband read it as there is a lot of husband bashing (which is a great outlet for women to relate that are absolutely fed up with their husbands at this difficult yet rewarding time). It's true that no matter how strong and in love with each other you are, a grenade gets thrown into your marriage when you have a baby. This book has helped me understand the dynamic of my relationship and while I'm not sure if I'd let my husband read it, I do let him know the things it advises, and it makes sense to him and to both of us. So with that said, it is a great book, but I would read it with an open mind and a light heart as it could be a little brash and rough around the edges.

Don't read this book if you are expecting your first child as I was, it's a total downer. I naively read the reviews and thought this book would help bring some realistic and practical advice for my husband and I as we entered our changing roles as parents. Instead, this book is really disappointing and totally useless, i didnt really get all the "humor" people raved about, it was more like sarcasm, a lot of jabs about men and these cliches. My husband and I found it really negative towards marriage and it doesn't help anyone improve family life. There are really no practical tips for self-improvement and the women are just bickering about all their bad experiences. They make it sound like family after marriage is a nightmare and they all had good marriages prior. I wouldn't give this book away, it's so bad! A much better book we also got and just started reading is To Raise Happy Kids Put Your Marriage First. Haven't rated this book yet because we only got through the First chapter, but already it's filled with more valuable info about communication and nurturing your marriage with helpful, practical advice. I can't tell you how disappointed I am with Babyproofing, thank goodness I bought it used for cheap and I still think it's a waste of time and money. If you like reading about people complaining with no constructive solution, maybe this is for you but I don't think this is a healthy choice. please take in consideration the other low reviews, more so than the high ones, I agree with them 100%, I wish I took it more seriously before I bought the book.

I like that this book will show the view points of both partners. As the wife, pre-children, I struggled with working 40-50 hours a week, taking care of dogs, and the house. What is awesome about this book is that it helped me to put into words the frustration of doing the 'lions share' of housework. I also liked the humor, which is always a plus, and it also gave my husband and I some things to think about before we have kids. Just making sure we put each other as a priority and not forgetting about our marriage. What I didn't like is that this book boiled men down to sex robots. It's all they want all the time, and if you want him to think you're a goddess, give him blowjobs and sec him a lot. It's all he needs. While I agree sex can be important in relationships, it is not all men need to be happy and satisfied with a relationship. I feel like this focus on men in the book kind of discredits them. We all need sex, but we also need love, compassion, warm meals, compliments, and so on. Overall, I would still recommend this book to couples. It has great talking points for both sexes and gets a dialogue open about who will do what work, how work will be divided, and making sure daddy gets baby time too.

I know, you "don't have time to read." Believe me, as a stay-home mom of a 2-yr-old and 2-month-old, I KNOW. So why get another book? This is why I like it and why I've given it to a few close friends: 1. It makes me feel NORMAL, whereas before I felt like some freak of nature and the only person going through these problems! That alone has done wonders for my psyche. 2. It's written by real people moms and not academic experts - they have been in the trenches and lived to tell about it. I especially like the story of the woman who was so exhausted she tried to breastfeed her husband's arm in bed. 3. It shines a lighthearted and humorous light on some otherwise very weighty and serious topics such as extreme fatigue, resentment and other sensitive areas (see chapter titled "Coitus Non-Existus.") I laugh out loud every time I read a section, and a little laughter goes a long way - real stress relief! 4. The analogies are always right on and also funny, like comparing a baby to a hand grenade thrown at a marriage. And then comparing a baby plus a toddler to a full frontal assault including tanks and heat-seeking missiles. Painfully true!!! And comparing husband and wife to circling wolves, ready to fight over any scraps of "free time" that get thrown their way. 5. It is refreshingly non-biased to either sex - both points of view are really represented fairly, so instead of staking wife against husband or vice versa it puts us all on the same team, in this together as parents and spouses. 6. You don't have to read it all the way through. I've only read sections; I can pick it up at a different place each time to get a little perspective. For immediate humor and reality, check out the table on page 196.

I read many technical books, and, although I don't expect a book on this subject to be written to the same audience, I do expect an informational book targeted at ADULTS to be written to some minimum standard. Let me explain by first acknowledging that the book contains some valuable insights, accurate recognitions of possible problems, and some reasonable solutions. However, the writing style of the authors is best characterized as PAINFULLY casual -- imagine the type of superficial discourse one might encounter at an informal social gathering of adolescents. ...10% substance, 90% fluff? What I hope to find in this book was a professional, pseudo-scientific foundation of analysis upon which the authors could draw some valid conclusions. Instead, I had the impression that the authors read a couple of books and interviewed the local PTA members. Perhaps that degree of research is adequate for this subject, but it is not what I hoped or expected. Nevertheless, my primary criticism isn't with the type of preparation the author's conducted or the conclusions they drew. Rather, my complaint is with the writing style that, on many occasions, forced me to literally put down the book in a fit of frustration. My conclusion: Good information coupled with a writing style that is almost impossible to endure.