The Tricky Part: A Boy's Story of Sexual Trespass, a Man's Journey to Forgiveness

The above quote from Shakespeare expresses a kind of numinous awe; a feeling of inadequacy at having to express the character of this book. I was moved to order it by the unstinting praise given by previous reviewers here. Mr. Moran has managed to transcend the terrible pain he endured through the medium of his art; to me it seems miraculous.The confusion and suffering that took Mr. Moran the better part of thirty years to work out was not least because he was--and is--gay. This overlays the story with yet another dimension of complexity. The author notes the sexual and emotional longings on his part that were not only picked up on by his abuser, but that kept him returning to this man for three years despite his guilt and confusion. That guilt and confusion would continue to hobble Mr. Moran's sense of intimacy for many years to come.In my own circle, I know two gay men who suffered abuse when they were scarcely more than boys--one of them from a member of his extended family. The abuse did not make either of them gay; rather, it seems that in each case (as with Mr. Moran) the abusers sensed both the sexual orientation and the vulnerability of their targets.Despite immense changes in society over the past twenty years, too many boys sense a secret within themselves that they cannot tell anyone--frequently not even themselves. The derision and stigmatization of gays by ignorant religion and ignorant people alike do nothing to prevent anyone from becoming gay--only serving to set up gay kids to be taken advantage of by their abusers. Those who have been abused will find this book a fount of insight, courage and (hopefully) healing. Anyone imagining that using a vulnerable adolescent sexually does them no harm will have much to consider after reading the book. All readers will discover the wisdom and pathos of a man who could have ended up as an abuser or a misanthrope, but through (dare one say?) some mysterious grace did not. This book deserves every bit of the praise that reviewers here gave it.

Children (both Gay and "straight" both male and female are sexually molested), All too often they are taking advantage of by adults who were themselves sexually molested in their own childhoods. After sexual abuse, some adults chose to turn around and themselves molest children. It is in choosing to "work-out" their own childhoods upon the bodies of the next generation of children that they themselves become predators, grooming, taking advantage,using and abusing and al-the-while claiming pity only for themselves (crocodile tears but not for their own victims) only for themselves on the grounds that they too were ...Martin Moran although sexually abused, rejects abusing the next generations and charts his own path to "grace" beyond the "half-life."I appreciate the clarity with which Martin Moran tells us his (nearly universal) story. Unlike many writers who stick to the "preferred" Victim, Survivor, Thriver" format, Martin Moran's memoir is nuanced and so truthful that reading the memoir was scary and heartbreaking and personally healing. The Tricky Part is undoubtedly the best book I have ever read on the subject of child sexual abuse and its long aftermath in our lives.. After I finished reading my copy, I ordered copies for three men I know who are struggling for "grace" to deal with issues of childhood sexual abuse. Some go on to abuse others, most do not but like shrapnel wounds, they must heal from the inside out. And even then such wounds leave scars.

Author Martin Moran has done a miraculous job of communicating the emotional terrorism of childhood sexual abuse. This book, certainly one of the finest I've ever read on this subject, held me enthralled from the first few pages. Moran's prose is uncommonly rich and fluid, what one would expect from literary lions such as Michael Cunningham and Andrew Holleran.In less talented hands this material could have proven over wrought or maudlin. Moran exorcises his demons in such a way that we are able to relate to the events and their impact on his life without ever feeling overwhelmed or manipulated. He has done a masterful job of conveying a myriad of conflicting emotions, particularly in his depiction of the love-hate relationship with his abuser and the contradictory feelings of helplessness and complicity. He describes his sexual history in graphic detail without ever losing his focus or narrative drive.As bleak as this subject matter may be, "The Tricky Part" remains positive and hopeful throughout, even in the scenes where the author confronts his abuser. Moran has gone to great pains to show off the edifying influences he had in his life - a great aunt, a singing teacher, a slew of friends and the love of his longtime companion Henry - and to leave room for redemption and grace. Finally, this is a haunting story of healing and forgiveness. Finding God in all things, that's the tricky part.

I read this book 15 years ago. I remember I enjoyed it but did not remember much of the story. I am reading it again and it did survive the test of time.Now, I am in my fifties and I still find the story very touching, told with nuance and sensibility. Great memoir.