Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes Hardcover – January 14, 2025

A must read. Being able to speak up safely and do so tactfully is a skill to be learned. Thank you Dr. Sah for sharing these valuable insights and I enjoyed your classes at Cornell. Thank you for the gift of sharing this knowledge with the world.

A great read! I loved the examples the author used throughout to highlight the differences between defying and complying. I also loved learning about the remarkable author and some of her inspiring family members. I'm now ready to move through the world being more authentic to my true self, even if that means defying some people's expectations.

An enjoyable read that is easy to understand and relatable. Drawing from historical events, current affairs and personal experiences, Dr. Sah finds the unsung heroes who practiced defiance and dissect their journeys to provide us with a guide to find our own true consent or defiance. A good read for anyone looking to better understand human behavior or to gain some perspective toward self-improvement.

How often do we say “yes” when we really mean “I’m not sure”—or even “no”? When interacting with others at work, in our families, or with professionals, we constantly navigate expectations, judgments, and pressures. We often feel compelled to comply with those, even when they conflict with our values or intentions.In Defy, Dr. Sunita Sah argues that our agreements should be acts of consent, not compliance. She does not see defiance as an offense to relationships but as an assertion of self-respect—the choice to live according to our values, “even when faced with pressure to do otherwise.”This reminds me of Albert Camus’ concept of lucid rebellion—a refusal to submit unthinkingly to imposed structures, not out of nihilism, but because of a commitment to engage with life fully and ethically. Defy presents a similar concept but does so in very practical terms. It offers a roadmap for managing our interactions with as much clarity, autonomy, and self-respect as possible. Dr. Sah draws from her expertise in behavioral science and medicine to translate defiance into concrete strategies that ensure when we say yes, we genuinely mean it.Her methods are incredibly useful. I recently encountered a proposal that required a reflexive yes, which made me uneasy. Inspired by Dr. Sah’s approaches, I paused and identified what was troubling me. There were key implications I didn’t fully grasp—I didn’t completely understand what I was about to commit to. As the book recommends, I expressed my concerns and suspended my consent. In response, my partner provided additional details, allowing me to move forward confidently and at peace.Reading Defy feels like diving into a well-written book on negotiations: we know we must negotiate effectively, yet achieving success is difficult without good advice, encouragement, and practical tips.This book contributes to a healthy, well-functioning culture—one where we don’t default to passive compliance or reckless defiance but instead engage with a spirit of constructive defiance.

This is a book we should all read. I certainly wish I'd had access to these ideas much earlier in my life! Chock full of research and very relatable stories, I found myself nodding my head in recognition of how, when we know who we are and what we stand for, it's much easier to stand up for what we believe.The Appendix is a great, short encapsulation of the main ideas in the book and I've photocopied them and put them in my notebook to be able to keep them top-of-mind and available for any time I need them. Highly recommend.

DEFY couldn't come at a better time. Based on compelling scientific research and real-world examples, Dr. Sunita Sah masterfully unpacks why we often stay silent or compliant when our inner voice is shouting at us to do otherwise.The book transforms defiance from a negative trait into an essential skill that we can develop and refine—providing practical tools to align our actions with our values. From dissecting the actions of well-known rebels to everyday instances of compliance and her own personal experiences, Dr. Sah has created a definitive and crucial guide for anyone who wants to stand up for what they believe is right in today's conflicted world.Too often we acquiesce to bad advice, inappropriate behavior, and unreasonable requests in our lives, so to help kick start an overdue rebellion, I am wholeheartedly recommending this book. It will certainly change how you think and feel about speaking up.

very clear, very persuasiveher voice is clear and her intention powerfulshe helps me feel empowered to be defiant

Defy is an empowering guide for anyone who has ever struggled with the pressure to conform, say yes when they wanted to say no, or felt the weight of expectations silencing their true voice. As someone who deeply values authenticity and personal empowerment, I found this book to be both validating and transformative.Sah weaves together compelling personal stories, rigorous research, and real-world examples to show how we can reclaim our decision-making power. Her own journey, shaped by the pressures of authority, culture, and societal expectations, is something I could deeply relate to. Like many, I was raised to be agreeable, to respect authority, and to avoid making waves—but Sah reveals how these ingrained behaviors can hold us back from living with true integrity and confidence.I love the blend of storytelling and science. She offers actionable strategies to help readers recognize and resist undue influence, whether it’s from bosses, colleagues, family, or societal pressure.The ability to say no is not just a skill—it’s a necessity for personal and professional growth. Defy isn’t just about saying no—it’s about saying yes to yourself.