Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything

“If Art does not enlarge men’s sympathies, it does nothing morally,” (George) Eliot once wrote. “The only effect I ardently long to produce by my writings, is that those who read them should be better able to imagine and to feel the pains and the joys of those who differ from themselves in everything but the broad fact of being struggling erring human creatures.” ― Rebecca Mead, My Life in MiddlemarchI am an avid lifelong reader. It’s not only how I pursue my free time, it’s also how I identify myself as a person. Naturally, that’s how I discovered Anne Bogel’s amazing blog, Modern Mrs. Darcy and became interested in reading her debut book, Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything, which I think is a book that all kinds of people will love, including avid readers like me.This summer I had the pleasure of reading Middlemarch for the first time and I learned firsthand how skilled Eliot was in helping readers connect with so many diverse types of characters all centered around life in a town called Middlemarch. She must have been an astute observer of the human character and their various personalities to write Middlemarch. I also must add that I believe that the fact that she was a re-reader of Jane Austen’s works helped her learn how to sketch her characters as a writer.Thereafter, I read Rebecca Meads’ wonderful tribute to George Eliot, My Life in Middlemarch. Meads’ book made me develop an even greater love and respect for its author, George Eliot because Eliot was primarily devoted to her art to help readers “to imagine and to feel the pains and the joys of those who differ from themselves in everything but the broad fact of being struggling erring human creatures.” I believe that’s what attracts many of us to live as readers; we love the way reading a great story allows us to inhabit another person’s hopes, dreams, and ultimately, their very own being!Similar to Eliot’s fictional stories, Anne Bogel’s new book is also a wonderful way to help people learn about one another through the personality frameworks she discusses throughout her book. Through her research and passion for this field, Anne explains how people can understand these frameworks in a way that allows them to improve their careers, their relationships, and ultimately, their very own lives. Doesn’t this sound fascinating?Anne incorporates a lot of very interesting information from some of the most well-known personality frameworks, such as Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, and others. There are several chapters that focus on one type of framework, offering readers an overview of some tools that can help them understand themselves, others, and the world around them. Anne even incorporates some of her favorite book characters into her discussions, including a very interesting take on why our dear Mr. Darcy would be known as a “Rational” according to David Keirsey’s temperament framework.Anne’s voice can be heard as she layers her own experiences, struggles, and successes within the information she shares with her readers. The book reads like an intimate conversation with a friend, which I absolutely loved. This is a friendly, down-to-earth look into how our personalities can be framed and understood in a way that will allow readers to dig deeper into themselves while gaining valuable information about the people they interact with in their own lives. Imagine being able to understand your spouse, your children, your family and friends, your coworkers, and maybe even your boss just a little bit better so that you engage with them in a more satisfying and healthy manner… That’s really the gift of this book!I also loved learning about Gary Chapman’s Five Languages of Love and about how learning more about these languages can help bring us closer to our significant other. These languages are described along with personal anecdotes from Anne’s own marriage, which made me imagine how my own relationship could benefit from this knowledge. After all, who doesn’t want to learn how to love their loved ones in more meaningful ways?Anne Bogel has created a book that readers will eagerly find themselves reading and rereading to learn more about how to understand themselves better along with how to find more enjoyment in their future interactions with the world and with other people. Once you dig into these lenses and you comprehend more about how other people “read the word,” you’ll also feel more in tune with how others connect with one another and how to understand why people respond to the world around them in the ways that they do. As a parent of four children, this book is helpful in seeking to understand my children’s’ personalities and how I can continue to support their own emotional and social development.Anne Bogel has done a great job helping people “enlarge their sympathies” for one another in her thoughtful and fun-to-read book. She takes on the goal of helping us sketch the characters in our lives (including ourselves) and makes this information relatable to living in the modern world. Whether we read Eliot, Austen, or any other writers in our world, our desire to connect with others lays at the heart of our motivations for reading and book whisperer Anne Bogel shows us in her new book the art and the science behind our world of connecting with each other.

I am fascinated with personality types, the psychology of why people do what the do, and how we can make all these different personalities get along. From the trusted Myers-Briggs to the complicated Enneagram and all the ones in between, personality quizzes can help us to understand each other while seeing one another as individuals. I learned so much from reading Reading People, except how to make everyone get along. 😉WHEN YOU TAKE A PERSONALITY TEST DO SO WITH AN HONEST LOOK AT YOURSELF.I know – this seems obvious. I thought so too until I read Reading People. I have taken the Myers-Briggs test about half a million times, and every time I’ve typed as the INFP personality. It wasn’t until reading this book and diving deep into that last category – Perceiving or Judging – that I realized I am actually a “J.” Why a J and not a P?I’m naturally an empathic, highly sensitive person, which I translated as being perceiving. It wasn’t until Anne’s description of the Advocate versus the Dreamer that I realized I am the Advocate. I get completely outraged at bad, rude, and hateful behavior and tend to confront the offender.I remember visiting the Statue of Liberty with my Grandmother and Grandpa Jack when I was thirteen-years-old. We were in a long line waiting to board the ferry when a man ahead of us started acting incredibly rude and obnoxious towards someone with an apparent disability. I was maybe 5′ and 85 pounds soaking wet, but I was ready to take that man on. My grandmother had to physically restrain me so I wouldn’t challenge that person.That was 30 years ago – these days we know it’s better to speak up and speak out. At the time, I was not diplomatic or tactful enough to speak out without someone getting hurt.“YOU’RE NOT CRAZY, YOU’RE JUST NOT ME.”People tend to assume extroverts are bad listeners, hate being alone, and are irrationally “needy” for the company of others.Y’all. Confession time. My mom is an extrovert. A shy extrovert but an extrovert nonetheless. We’ve already established I’m an introvert and an outspoken introvert at that.When I read the above quote in Reading People I knew Anne Bogel had been inside my head and even listened in on exasperated conversations I’ve had with my mom!I’ve asked my mom many, many times “can’t you just sit by yourself for 2 minutes?” in that condescending tone daughters tend to get with their moms when they think they’re doing something so much better. *deep sigh* It’s not true. I know it’s not. I know we are all doing the best we can with the person we are.It’s not true. I know it’s not. I know we are all doing the best we can with the person we are. It took reading this book to realize my mom was a shy extrovert and the opposite of me. Quite an eye-opener!Because we live in a world with many other people–people we work with, live with, and care about–we need to be not only smart about meeting our own needs but also gracious about their needs.I hear you, Anne. Loud and clear. And I’m sorry Mom!WHILE PERSONALITY TYPING CAN BE A GREAT TOOL TO KNOW YOURSELF, IT IS ALSO USEFUL FOR PERSONAL GROWTHAnne wrote probably the best introduction to Enneagram typing that I’ve ever read. It was clear, concise and touched on the highlights of each Enneagram personality. She also explains how the Enneagram is more about our underlying motivations as opposed to just a strengths-based evaluation. For that reason, using the Enneagram typing for personal growth is especially helpful.OVERALL THOUGHTSWritten with a Christian slant, Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything is a great introduction to several personality frameworks:The Five Love Languages made popular by Gary Chapman and a staple in the Christian ChurchThe Clifton StrengthsFinder 2.0 used by many corporationsMyers-Briggs Type Indicator used in most Psychology 101 courses,The Kiersey’s Temperaments which I still don’t understand andThe Enneagram made popular in monasteries.Anne writes in a conversational tone, sharing personal stories of how she determined her own type. Because she was covering a tremendous amount of material I was surprised the text did not get bogged down. The only section I did get confused was with Kiersey’s Temperaments. Probably because I’ve never heard of this particular framework.Anne did a great job on the research of each personality framework shared in Reading People. It was fascinating to learn that the Enneagram has been around since the Fourth Century. And that it was used widely in monasteries. And that throughout history people have been described as “Sanguine, choleric, melancholy, phlegmatic. Air, fire, earth, water…” So many other interest tidbits that if you love personality typing and reading people then you’ll love learning the history behind personality frameworks.If you enjoy knowing your personality type, getting more in-depth than those Buzzfeed quizzes, and figuring out the best areas to work on for personal growth then you’ll love Reading People. I know I did!

I am sorry - I really wanted to enjoy this book and write a good review. But for me personally this book didn't help me. I learned a few things about the author who explored herself through various personality tests (there are many book suggestions at the back with regards to various type tests) but if you want to read a book where you can take a test to get to know YOURSELF more - I'd recommend starting with Please Understand Me 2 by David Keirsey. Also - a note of caution about the Enneagram personality test. I had doubts about it - wanted some background as to what it is - and found an article online called: 'Tell Me who I am, O Enneagram' on equip.org. It you have any reservations about it - it may be worth your read.

I love this book! I was already familiar with all but one of the personality frameworks covered in the book and so was a little hesitant about purchasing. I went ahead because I love Anne's podcast and wanted to support her work - I use so many of her free resources that this felt like a good way to say thank you. I really enjoyed reading more about Anne's personality journey, but more than that the book itself was fantastic, not least because it helped me to discover that (like Anne) I had mis-diagnosed my Myers Briggs type, both through my own reading, and online tests. Anne's step by step look at the cognitive types showed me clearly where I had gone wrong.Anne's insights also added much more to my understanding of my marriage and parenting relationships; and her extensive booklists will keep me busy for the next little while too, going even deeper into some of the frameworks in the book. Highly recommended!

Personality traits, awareness explained through references of various books.What kind of person is Harry Potter, why my colleague gets tired talking a lot when I am fine, why would I like to take a walk when stressed where as my cousin would feel fresh reading a book? This book has well explained answers. We human beings surely need to keep reading more books to know what others think /we think. Anne explains via various book characters the personality traits and behavioural aspects which I love in this book. Even though we may not be able you read all the books as she has, surely it helps to understand self n other characters of life or books. Some parts were a bit technical of personality traits made it a bit tough to grab total focus while reading but outherwise a definitive book to know more about thoughts and personality traits of Kinds of people around us.

Loved how Anne has put all the personality systems into one book explained them so well, hubby and I are enjoying learning about ourselves and others in our lives. Very helpful, highly recommend.

super wuick