An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal'

What is normal? How would one know when you were raised in dysfunction. This has a lot of valuable information on healing. I definitely recommend it.

I am GenX and was raised by boomers who joined a religious cult. This book is a step by step guide to my childhood issues. And it gives me validation knowing that I’m not crazy and there’s others out there like me. Great book. Highly recommend.

Whoever said it was too cookbook hasn't appreciated the the value of having a thorough one at hand. I loved the Friel's approach. It is a bit harder on the ego than the Woititz ACOA book but this one includes ALL dysfunctions, and I know even after years in recovery I will still find valuable resources in this book to guide me along my bumpy journey. As one who has NO idea what is normal, yet somehow manages to function at the basic level in society, I definitely appreciated the simple yet thorough approach used here.This book isn't another "blame the parents--give you an excuse" soother. It requires that we take responsibility for our adult lives, recovery, happiness, misery, relationships, dysfunctional patterns & our future. This book shows me exactly what healthy (they don't believe in the statistical normal, to them normal means emotionally healthy, which is a far more useful definition of the ambiguous term "normal" anyway) living means, looks-smells-tastes-feels like! I can use this book as a check-up to see if I'm on the right track and if not, follow the suggestions or get further help.Most of all this book helped me to recognize that recovery isn't an overnight process, can't be done alone in isolation, that I'm human and mistakes are actually a GOOD and WELCOME experience and do NOT have anything whatsoever to do with my self-worth. This book even includes several chapters on how to respond to con artists, abusers & generally rude, mean or unhealthy people. How to deal with zingers, how to set healthy boundaries & protect ourselves & our healthy boundaries, I could go on for pages praising this book.I've bought numerous other self-help books & this one was the best. The authors do suggest waiting until one has 2+ years of recovery before tackling this book. To hell with that. Read it now, and every step of the way on your journey. Start feeling better about YOU & your life right NOW, today. Good luck on your journey, happy discoveries to you.

This book is a quick read but it is filled with numerous examples for how to deal with situations that occur in life, from dealing with loneliness, stress, perfectionism, dealing with people who say inappropriate or abusive things to me, and parenting children etc. Recommend it to anyone who struggles with codependency.

This book really resonates with me--an adult child of alcoholism. It is written in a style I can relate to--not too academic--just real and relate-able. I am just beginning to read it cover to cover, but have read sections in nuggets as time allowed, and I have gotten a lot of personal insight from them. It is a very thought-provoking and a wonderful self-growth book as I had / have no idea what "normal" is. I am obsessed with recovery this year via the 12-steps and fellowship with like-minded 'travelers.' I love this book--so far so good- and am anxious to spend more time with it. 👍🙏💚💓

I gave this 5 stars because I think depending on what you are working on, it could be. It wasn't as helpful to me. I was hoping for something that would tell me more about what "normal" people do because I know that I learned some odd ways of thinking and behaving when I was growing up. It did help somewhat in this, but I think the title is slightly misleading.I recommend this as one of the first books to read if you believe that there might have been something dysfunctional about the way you were raised but you are not sure what or you're just starting your exploration of those issues. It's not a "parent bashing" book, but instead a kind and compassionate book on how to get better, not blame.Chapter 19 about perfectionism resonated with me and gave some nice tips on how to deal with it. Unfortunately, that entire chapter is just two pages long, so it's not worth buying the whole book just for that.It's an easy read and well written, so if you're on the fence, buy it. I think you'll get something valuable out of it.

I have been in the therapy for years. I couldn't see where I was heading to. I just knew something wrong with my life.I read "Adult Children: The secrets of dysfunctional families" and I read "An adult child's guide to What's Normal"I am grateful someone out there working on this issue. This book has been helping me to open my eyes along with my therapy work. I actually practiced some of the normal actions and stay away from a destructive and abusive relationship, which I didn't know it was even abusive before.Feelings are to be accepted. Thoughts are to be understood. Only words followed by actions count."How do you know about my life so well?" was like my feeling when I read this book. I am taking my life back. Thank you so much on your work, John Friel, Ph.D. and Linda Friel M.A. Now, I am going to learn how to appreciate others and me with my heart, not with "doing his/her favor".

This book was life changing for me in that it introduced me to what normal relationships could be, a concept which I did not understand. It was wonderful to discover a new way to interact. An alternative universe to live in. Very nice.

Knowing you grew up in a dysfunctional family does not necessarily mean you know how to deal with it when you are grown up. Knowing they are manipulative doesn't necessarily help you to defend yourself against their manipulativeness.This book very helpfully identifies some behaviours that are both common and unhealthy-then shows you, equally helpfully, what to do about them. It's reassuring on another level too-you realize that the craziness you grew up with is someone else's, not yours, and that you can live differently. It IS a bit American self-helpy, but still worth it.And it's set out in such a way that you can use it for quick reference.

Bought this book as it was recommended by Amazon, while buying another book. The content is not at all what was expected, and certainly not helpful. There is no flow, or clarity as to who the book is trying to help, or what it is trying to achieve. Certainly aimed at the US market. But confusing and a waste of money.

It wasn't what i expected. As a student counsellor i don't feel it hit the nail on the head, it is a very very basic guide to how to reinforce boundaries, I would recommend an attachment theory book instead for those who come from dysfunctional backgrounds.

First I read Adult Children: Secrets of Dysfunctional Families. A great book to read everytime you feel "different" from the rest of the world! And then came this book: having completed my intensive 1-week psychotherapy for A.Children, and not having read any books on the adult child isssue before, I found this book to be precise, straight forward and realistic.This book easily explains the origins and repeated patterns of adult child behaviour, processes that may have led to addictions (alcohol, work, food and other), and the essential personal work to lead one to the root of the problem. I certainly found this book helpful towards the road to recovery.

Useful, practical book, well written, with succinct chapters. The style feels as if the writer was a good friend of yours. Highly recommended.