The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder): A Guide to Living in an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who is on the Autism Spectrum Second Edition

My experience of a quarter of a century with an ASD wife had profoundly negative effects on me. It felt like I was throwing all of my love into a black hole, and it took a toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. A sense of futility was my constant companion, and I went so far as to question my own sanity.In a clear and concise manner, this book revealed that my wife's behaviors were explainable. It also revealed that my own turmoil was not a unique reaction to the situation. It offered the perspective I needed to regain confidence in my own sanity. It gave me actionable levers I could pull to improve the situation.The sun seems a little brighter today as a result of reading this book. It comes with a certain sense of closure even though the situation will be ongoing for a lifetime, but it also offers hope for some mitigation with actionable insights.I caution those with a female ASD partner to be prepared for the fact that the inclusion of a chapter dedicated to male ASD partners stands in contrast to the absence of such a chapter for female ASD partners. While this was off-putting at first, I found a wealth of perspective for us sprinkled throughout the text, and it really does not diminish the overall value. I would, however, urge the author to consider for a third edition the fact that those with a female ASD partner, already being in the minority, already find a paucity of awareness about their plight, and might appreciate the additional support.

Very helpful for those first realizing their partner might be on the autism spectrum or has received a positive diagnosis of such. Very affirming for the neurotypical partner, “you aren’t crazy!” Practicals on how to handle typical situations that might arise in a neurodiverse relationship.

I appreciate the sincerity of the author. I agree with a large majority of the book, but some parts seemed very uncomfortable to read...like the part where my non-ASD partner is likely to blame my "bad traits" to my disorder as if my identity is separate from it. It's a neurological impairment... it's literally me. So, apparently I'm still the problem no matter who we pretend we're really blaming. I AM Autistic...if you blame Autism for me being me, you blame me for being me.

It is very well written book helping both partners to navigate in relationship and smooth the edges especially for Asperger partner.

I bought this book because I thought it might help my marriage. As I read it started rubbing me the wrong way. More and more, when the final sentence read “your decision to stay (in the relationship) or not to stay should be based on your partner’s personality and the things that your partner can make their own decision about, not just the fact that they have Asperger syndrome.” I knew something weird was up. The whole book has a weird patronizing tone towards autistic folks. The book encourages a parent child dynamic between the non autistic partner and autistic partner. This will never work… so upon more research it turns out that Maxine Aston was in a relationship with an autistic man that ended very badly. This prompted her to invent a disease for people who have been negatively affect by being in a relationship with an autistic person. She supports FAAS which is essentially an autism hate group. FAAS has the goal to eradicate autism though eugenic, mandatory disclosure of autism and even chemical sterilization.So if you value your marriage RUN AWAY and don’t look back

This is an important book for those involved in any contexts of its subject. Though the author initially stresses that autism/Asperger's syndrome is a "mental disease", the extent to which the aberrance is environmentally entrained (or conditioned) is obvious, and even made obvious by the author. If a disease prevents one processing social, verbal, emotional cues, and thus aut/Asp is not a "psychological" disorder, then how can it be that counseling (based on changing interactions between couples in speech and expectations, etc.) can resolve the issues and "normalize" the relationship?Despite the contradiction in thesis (so to speak), this book is valid and important in the ideas and techniques it presents. For those living with Asperger's on the "high-end", realizing that the aberrance is not a true "disease" (such as epilepsy) and can that counseling interaction-changes can "normalize" a relationship should be relief -- and resolution -- and recommendation for reading.

This reads very much like an extended brochure. It is helpful, especially if this is your first read on the topic. A great place to start. Ultimately, I doubt other books will do more than elaborate on the simple truth: if you are partners with an Aspie, you will need to have realistic expectations, learn how to communicate in a very concise and direct manner, and draw firm boundaries to protect your selfhood.

This book has been a Godsend. I didn’t want to put it down. It has taught me to rethink and react differently. I used to just “blame my husband” for not caring enough. Now my eyes are opening up to the reality and it has made me take on our relationship in a whole new way and understanding.

I read this due to living with an undiagnosed partner, who refuses counselling but is aware they possibly have Asperger's Syndrome. I was driven to despair and knew there was something wrong in our relationship and often felt we were both speaking different languages resulting in him withdrawing or having stupid fall outs. The book helped me to realise AS is the problem and has been for many years. To save my sanity I chose to read the book as self-help and research. It now means I need to change my behaviour in how I communicate with him, not easy but I don't want to walk away from 43 years of commitment even though I have felt broken many times and alone.

Very disappointing. This is really an absolute beginners’ guide to Aspergers and relates almost exclusively to incredibly stereotypical presentations of Aspergers. Anyone (like me!) whose partner’s Aspergers is a little more subtle, nuanced or complex won’t find anything at all of use here. I shall have to look elsewhere.

Understanding that your partner has Asperger's can transform your lives. This book tells you how you can recognise the symptoms and vastly improve your relationship as a result. But the person with Asperger has to accept that they have it. If not, says the author, "the chances are that they will often blame their partner for the misunderstandings that occur in the relationship". I mentioned this book to a psychotherapist friend and she said that most of us are probably on the spectrum somewhere. I agree. I know people whom I now assume have some Asperger-like restrictions on their ability to relate to others. Reading this book helps me have better relationships with them.

New partner fits every aspect of Asperger’s details in this book...have felt as if I couldn’t take anymore but this book has given me the strength and understanding to make a go of it with him.Even from whirlwind romance, how the partners see atheists AS as quiet, etc and nicely not a party goer... right through to the “honeymoon” period and difficulties the shining through.Partner undiagnosed previously ended at 57 he is suffered thinking he odd and hated himself all his life and I’m the only person that’s ever talked to him about it despite a 30 year marriage before his wife died.Has given me the strength and understanding I need.Grateful for this books exact details..

This is very readable and informative. I bought it as I believe my husband has Aspergers and from the start, ‘found’ him on almost every page. It reinforced my gut instinct and gave me reassurance and ideas for moving forwards. My only reservation - and it was really disheartening - was finding a very negative point made about Aspergers in the final paragraph of the last page. It’s made me really hesitant about sharing the book with him. :-(