Loveless Paperback – International Edition, April 30, 2020

“ ‘You want someone to know you,’ I said.”I think everyone wants to feel known and I definitely felt known and given affirmation to by this magical delight of a book. Especially in Georgia its aromantic-asexual protagonist who brings visibility to a sexuality that isn’t as widely talked about or understood (as I myself struggle with the concept of intimacy and being close to someone/comfortable to show certain parts of myself so I loved seeing that represented in a way that deeply resonated and spoke to me). I also find that kissing someone or having sex for the first time can be deeply scrutinized as they are both rites of passage that people feel pressure to succumb to before they are ready, and it is stigmatized if you aren’t there at a certain age, and I thought this book was able to have real, deeply affecting explorations into that with a continually life-affirming sense of tender, thoughtful profoundness.Feelings of self-identity and the process of finding love, whether it be romantically, platonically, or within one’s self, aren’t easy and are invariably vulnerable, taking plucks of courage and incrementally realized steps of bravery. The process can also find you in a discomfited, messy, painful, or awkward place that invites the most intimately sensitive parts of the self and heart that have to take a try at being exposed. Through all of this, you want someone to care about you, hold your hand through the embarrassing moments or admissions, brighten your bad days with your choice comfort food, work with you patiently through your negative self-talk or just be there for you quietly with a smile or slight squeeze of the hand, and regard your feelings with the utmost sincerity that can give way to and form an authentically beautiful openness that can be fostered. And ultimately operates as genuinely and honestly as an intricately rich form of poetry, flowing from the inward crevices of one’s self.“I was a dreamer, maybe, who liked to yearn and believed in the magic of love. Like the main guy from Moulin Rouge, who runs away to Paris to write stories about truth, freedom, beauty and love, even though he should probably be thinking about getting a job so he can actually afford to buy food. Yeah. Definitely me.”Georgia, quiet before you get to know her and a fan-fiction loving nerd at heart, has to go on her own journey of self-discovery and awakening at her first year of university. Along with her two best friends she knows from high school, Jason and Pip, who decide to attend the same university. University being a non-linear experience, confusingly intense mass of intensity and time of bottled, knotted emotions coming to the forefront, and acts of experimentation that she has to find ways to contend with.Also accompanying her on this journey is her roommate she meets who is her striking polar opposite from the surface and definitely upon first glance. Boldly outgoing, outrightly flirtatiously sensual, people magnet Rooney. Who as time progresses, though, ends up having some past traumas to confront and deeper secrets of her own, that linger like darker unspoken ghosts, which, in turn, reveal that no one’s identity is static or consequentially always what it seems in that people can act a certain way to cover up a larger, more damaging truth.“Like the way friendship can be just as intense, beautiful and endless as romance. Like there’s love everywhere around me – there’s love for my friends, there’s love in my paintings, there’s love for myself … ‘I have a lot more love than some people in the world. Even if I’ll never have a wedding.’ ”Georgia, on the other hand, continually dreams of how it would feel to be in a relationship, but the actual reality of it seems to be very different: as she feels repulsed by touch, being in too close proximity to someone, kissing, and idea of the sex. She has to find ways to be honest with herself and come to accept herself on her own terms before her own experimentation hurts someone, but unfortunately it does before she can completely and I thought that part of her character was well-developed. As she faces conflictions with how to act so she will feel and appear normal and where she can be more true to her inner nuances and more subtle callings. Willfully trying to force yourself to feel and fabricate desire will never end well and I think Georgia comes to realize that and that the best way to remedy that is to find smaller, though no less impactful, ways of being comfortable and proudly unapologetic about the person she is and holding as steadfast to that as she can.I thought the pondering, meaningful focus on identities, coming into one’s self, and finding out that friendship can be the most powerful, enduring form of love were moving through and through. As this book will hold a special place in my heart for the ways that it brought me clarity and remarkable reassurance that there is no one right way of being a person, loving, or living.

I'm very new to the aroace community. Having just discovered the term about 2 months ago. This book was constantly be recommended. I really wasn't sure I'd enjoy it. I can't say that I'm a YA fan. The story is coming from a female prospective, Georgia being the protagonist. So I didn't think it would be relatable. Wow, was I wrong. So many of Georgia's thoughts and experiences felt so familiar to me. Georgia has a hard time accepting herself as Aro/Ace. That wasn't the same for me. I'm sure that's to do with me being in my 30's. I went years just feeling like something was wrong with me, feeling broken. So finally having a word and knowing others where the same was very validating. The friendships of Georgia, Rooney, Pip, Jason, Sunil, wow I loved it!Reading about someone going through the exact same thoughts, worries and confusions as I did was ground breaking to me. I'm now craving more aroace characters.If you or someone in you life is Aromantic (Aro), Asexual (Ace), or both (aroace), or you just want to be a better Ally give this book a read. You'll leave with a better understanding.2 Quotes from the book that hit home for me:"I don't know when I started to realize that I hated it. For a long time, I was just dating and having sex because that's what people did. And I wanted to feel like those people. I wanted the fun, exciting beauty of romance and sex. But there was always this underlying feeling of wrongness. Almost disgust. It just felt wrong on a fundamental level. And yet, I kept trying to like it. I kept thinking, Maybe I'm just picky. Maybe I haven't met the right guy. Maybe I like girls instead. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe never came. It never got here.""Having a partner is what some people want. For others, it's not. It took me a long, long time to figure out that that's not what I want. In fact...It took me a long time to realize that it's not even something I CAN want. It's not a choice for me. It's a part of me I can't change."

Let me start off my saying that I LOVE Alice Oseman. I discovered their work a few years ago, in its infancy, on a this little, rinky-dink webcomic called Heartstopper. I was immediately drawn to what they were writing, how they presented it, and how much they respect and value the reader- given the age demographic. Loveless is the 6th Alice book I've read and the first time ive ever been let down! Womp womp. I didn't even finish it. I got a third of the way thru and the pacing was so deathly slow, I had to stop. Nothing really happened, either. She went to college, and the plot kind of became stagnant after that. I really wanted to love this- it was the first book ive read where an ace person had been centered- and I'm so sad it fell short for me! It has not deterred me from reading Alice's work, though, as I have bought EVERY book they've ever written. And I will continue to do so til the end of time because I believe its important to support queer authors.Despite my opinion of this book, I know how deeply it has touched the ace community, and i know what it means to them. Alice has a way of touching the souls of the exact people who need it, and thats why I'm giving it 4 stars. Alice is still magic.

The novel says it itself -- the aro & ace spectrums are vastly wide and everyone's journey is different. And going into the novel, I was worried I wouldn't be able to relate simply due to having a different path through accepting that I'm aromantic and asexual, but this novel instantly slammed me with so many accurate depictions and moments of relatability that I think anybody who's ever had difficulty in acceptance of their identity will relate, or at least be able to sympathize and learn about being aro & ace.