Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked, Revised Edition Paperback – September 25, 2001

I'm going to be moving in with my boyfriend and his young son in a few weeks, and I ordered "Stepmotherhood" and "The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role" to give me a little preparation for what I should expect. I found that "The Enlightened Stepmother..." gave a much more thorough discussion on the difficulties of stepparenting as well as giving creative and helpful tips on getting through the hard times, whereas this book emphasized the negative aspects of the situation you might be facing. "Stepmotherhood" gave very few suggestions of how to deal with individual problems that might come up, and didn't seem to have been researched half as thoroughly as "The Enlightened Stepmother..." whose authors interviewed hundreds of stepmothers from all walks of life for help with their material, in addition to being stepmothers themselves. If you're looking for one book to both support you in the hard times and give you directions to the good times, I'd thoroughly recommend "The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role," but I'm going to return this book.

I have been a stepmother for 10 years. I wish I had this book earlier! I definately recommend this book to anyone considering marrying a man with children. It is a rocky road no matter how you look at it! I always felt guilty for some of the feelings that I had but this book has reassured me that my feelings are normal and felt by most other stepmothers. After 7 yrs, I had my own child and boy does that throw everyone for a loop! There are feelings of jealousy and awkwardness that prevailed. By reading this book, I have tried to be strong for what I believe in, be more accepting of my stepchildren (and less critical) and not blame them for their mother's problems. I want to provide them with a stable family environment, one which they do not have anywhere else.

This was the second book I picked up on Step-mothering, and I found it to be tremendously helpful and informative. This book focused not just on what the children need from you, but on what YOU need for yourself-- everything from personal time away from kids to the supportive partner you're desperately going to need. It didn't sugarcoat anything; the whole messy picture is laid out for the reader, but I didn't finish the book feeling hopeless or overwhelmed. I highly recommend it.

A pretty good resource for step moms, although there are others I'd recommend instead - "No One's the Bitch," for instance.NOTE: This product was a personal purchase for myself at the normal retail price. I'm reviewing it solely because I want to share my experience with other potential customers. I have received no compensation for my review, nor do I have any relationship with the seller or manufacturer of this product.

Overall I enjoyed the read and found the stories all too relatable. My one critique is that it is very specific to male/female relationships and how those stereo-typically unfold (man gets new wife...) versus an all-inclusive approach. With so many possible configurations in today's society it might be nice for the author to tap into some more wide-ranging scenarios.

Although the book has been useful and has given me insight, I am not a fan of how little the book talks about the children being born from relationships (not marriages). The entire book focuses on the failed marriage/new marriage, which is fine, but it didn't exactly apply to me. There were some thing in there I was a bit frustrated about. Some suggestions led me to believe I couldn't react a certain way because as a stepmother I had no right to, and to just sit back and let certain things happen and not bring it up (except to my husband) and that I'm just not a fan of.

I first bought this book for myself about 30 years ago when I was about to become the stepmother of four, including some teens. I found it to be practical, very useful and realistic, and quite readable. I just bought the latest edition to give to my niece who is becoming a stepmother herself. Cleary this book as passed the test of time if it's still in publication for over 30 years!

A good aid in making you not feel that the situation you may be facing in your life as a stepmother is insurountable and makes you realise that no matter how much effort you put into being a good stepmother, you will never be thier mother.Gives many references to interviewed stepmothers which was interesting and very relatable.

This book is very easy to read. As the part time "carer" for my partners 2 children I found this very practical and I didn't find it "preachy" or too "touchy feely" for me. It really has helped me to realise that a lot of the mixed emotions I've been experiencing are normal and that I'm not a hard hearted monster because I feel jealous or unappreciated.In order to try to get my partner to appreciate and understand my emotions I have urged him to read this book too. This book is opening his eyes to a lot of experiences that hadn't even crossed his mind and he's the parent!!We both thouroughly recommend this book to EVERONE with links to the "stepfamily".

I wanted this to have advice tailor made to me. Obviously no book is ever going to do that, but there was precious little I could relate to. It is useful in a general sense, however there are some better discussion boards on the Internet if you need advice pertinent to you.

However I bought it as my ex-boyfriend has a 2 year old son but then we broke up.I am still reading it and however I have no reason to have it, I found it interesting and it is great for parenting too.

Quality of this book was good and it arrived promptly

As a stepmother to two boys aged 12 and 7, I was looking for some guidance. I am in the lucky category of stepmother who had time to get to know the kids well before moving in together, and I also have the joy of having two stepsons who are trusting and loving towards me and do accept me. Nevertheless, even in this ideal constellation, stepparenting can be a handful, so I bought this book.I appreciate that it is practical and pragmatic, not asking the stepmother to compensate for the broken home (which in most cases, she didn't break!), but also not talking about discipline and the importance of 'house rules' all the time either. Instead, it strikes a healthy balance between preserving one's home, lifestyle and personal values while accepting that there is already a family which might have its own set of habits, behaviours, rituals etc. In short, the book suggests we compromise without compromising our own core values or giving up all of our wishes and plans.Most helpful to me was the author's insistence that we let go of the unwritten commonplace laws surrounding stepfamilies. Instead, she stresses that you don't have to love your stepchildren and can still be a good stepmother and share a lovely relationship with them. You don't have to play big happy family. Your expectations don't always have to take a back seat. Saying no when you mean no doesn't make you wicked in the children's eyes, but it will make you feel more content. And just because your stepchildren don't always treat you like family, doesn't mean they dislike you. This is a relief to all who feel pressured to be like a true mother to stepchildren but feel down when they fall short emotionally and don't get anything, or not enough, in return.What struck me as odd is that the author seems to assume in many instances that a normal stepfamily situation begins with marriage: man takes new wife, they start married life, and boom, in drop the previously unknown stepkids. In my experience, most stepmoms already know the children prior to moving in together, and well before marriage. Which poses its own set of complications, because the relationship changes when she goes from a person staying at the father's house to the person at whose house the children are staying. This change has its pitfalls for all involved, and it changes authority structures, expectations, and rules.Where actual advice is concerned, this book is not the strongest. To me, that was ok, but if you look for tricks and tips to handle individual situations, rather than a broad perspective on stepmothering, maybe another book that takes a frog's- rather than a bird's-eye view might be preferable.