Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere: Three Novels Paperback – October 29, 2008

If you find the title shocking then this book is not for you. If you get past the absurd premises of the three stories you will find some very interesting commentary. While this is not high literature it is a good read for the genre.

Humor can be a lot of things- insightful, instructive, intriguing... but all that doesn't count for nothi' if it isn't funny. It has to be funny. So let's address that point first and foremost. This book is FUNNY AS HELL!! I was reading this in the grocery store, pushing the cart behind my wife- who takes a long time to shop- and I was laughing so hard, it was embarrassing her, so she asked me to go read in the cafe/food court area at the front of the store. The humor here reminded me a lot of The Simpsons. There is a ton of great one-liners and minor story points which were not necessarily important to the plot, but which almost had me in tears, laughing. I love the journalists salivating over the boy trapped in the well... until they find out it's "just a hobo" and drop the story. Or the cannibal cops in L.A. and the basketball team. Or how the news anchor doesn't interview the scientist who actually invented the "time/space reverse polkafying device", but instead interview the scientist who doesn't know what's going on, but "has great cheekbones." Later, on page 141, when the CRNAA explains why he isn't certified... I think anybody who's worked in medicine will appreciate that one! This is pretty smart humor. It's obvious that "bizarro" fiction isn't just random or shocking. Mykle Hansen has something to say, and these three stories make you want to listen.Monster Co*ksTech Support drone Jack Stalker has a miserable life, and decides to turn his fortunes around by enlarging his member. He sends off for a mysterious treatment, which turns out to be more effective than he expected, when his growing organ develops a mind of its own. First it implicates him in a potential homicide... yadda yadda yadda ...one thing leads to another... and the planet's ecosystem is destroyed, with the last surviving humans floating on makeshift rafts in the ocean. So... okay, there's a little bit of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going on here, but maybe it's not all as supernatural as it looks. Don't most guys have at least one embarrassing story about being called to the blackboard at an inopportune moment, or a high school slow-dance that reveals one's feelings just a bit too much? My point is just that this "bizarro" stuff doesn't come out of nowhere. The same goes for imagery of monstrous members battling each other, and laying waste to the landscape, like Godzilla and Mothra. It isn't such an insane allegory, when a nine-year war and "too big to fail" banks are destroying the country. This should somehow be linked to a bizarro version of Lysistrata.I cannot leave this discussion without making special mention of the humor. The Tech Support humor Hansen comes up with is genius, and actually steals the show from the more obvious humor potentials. When Jack wants to hit the cop, his tech buddies hold him back, saying "Dude, It's okay.. Just calm down... Reboot! Reboot!" When Phil goes crazy, he tells everybody "You're on the Devil's network now! And he's uploaded me!" (you have to read the story to get the context there) ...or when Jack compares the Phil's brains to so many "trouble tickets"... that's good stuff!Journey to the Center of Agnes CuttlebottomA little bit like Fantastic Voyage, except the miniaturized team is going up the rectum of a comatose prostitute. There is a lot of funny commentary about journalism, as well as capitalists for whom nothing is sacred, and pop culture. I was particularly entertained by the character of Marine ski-doo brigade Commander Jock Thrustworth, who reminded me of Buck Turgidson from Dr Strangelove. The whole bit with the Live Aid-type concert in the woman's colon, where the National Guard has to be called in, had me rolling on the floor. Also, the time-share development in her transverse colon! As with the previous story, it's not hard to see that this is a highly-allegorical flavor of "bizarro", which is actually incisive social commentary.Crazy Sh***ing PlanetSorry to keep comparing these stories to other works, but here you have a time far in the future where the descendents of the rich live in beautiful cities in the clouds, and the ignorant poor live on the surface, bewildered by the assault of sewage and discarded consumer products which rain down on them. A comparison to The Time Machine is kind of hard to avoid. I enjoyed this story, but would like to have seen the character of Martha Trump-Hilton XII and the ship full of nuns developed more!

I came to this little gem via Amazon.com's personalization algorithms, which suggested it, given that I'd recently reviewed  The Baby Jesus Butt Plug . Well, yeah, the two kind of go together. As soon as I saw the title, I just had to read it, no way around it. Good or bad, I had to see what was inside.So, you've got three stories here:1. A corporate IT puke who wants more impressive, ahem, personal hardware, sets in motion a Jekyll-and-Hyde tale that ends in a Godzillian phallocentric apocalypse. It doubles as a highly indulgent tale of the unsung IT hero. There are plenty of arcane sysadmin terms, but knowledge of them is not needed to ascertain that our hero, despite the critical flaw of desperately wanting more man-package, is one electron-jamming wondernerd.2. A highly graphic colo-rectal  Fantastic Voyage , complete with lust, mystery, monsters, intrigue, and military operations (not necessarily in that order).3. A post-apocalyptic fantasy involving life, love, and longing, all taking place in a world covered in dooky, where it rains from the sky, and the oceans are nothing but.No, I'm not kidding.The irony of the first story: biological terrorists unleashing their horror on the world use the immensely inspired vector of men wanting bigger personal plumbing. Gosh, viruses spread by male enhancement come-ons? We're living this already.The irony of the second story: if such shrinking technology were available, in such an environment, it is not the least bit unreasonable to think that every single one of the manipulative, exploitive elements portrayed in this story would show up to do what they do best, for no one's good but their own.The irony of the third story: well, you've kind of got me there. And there are pirates and battling!All in all, this book wasn't nearly as bad as I assumed it would be. All three stories surprised me with depth of character and story, and some good turns of phrase: "...a new era of peace and genital pride dawns...;" "the porn...must flow...;" "...but this rectum needed us. How could we refuse?" among many other jewels, most of them unavailable for inclusion in this venue. Strangely enough, and this is a compliment: man, could I smell the worlds Hansen has created here. I could see them pretty clearly, but more than anything I registered smell. The venues are uniformly unpleasant, and I really did feel better after showering when I read these stories.As for this being satire, yeah, I can see that. Nike sure does get a grilling, as does the media, personal and corporate greed, lust for fame, vanity, the need for personal possessions, sacrificing innocents for scientific glory, and a whole lot more. Hiltons and Trumps get it pretty good, too (no relation to persons living or dead, of course).The book read quickly, its 217 pages done in just a couple of hours. A little treasure at the back of this Eraserhead Press release is twelve pages devoted entirely to bizarre fiction. Hoo, buddy, there are some way-out titles here...I think I'll probably order one or two.Bottom line: this book isn't going to work for most readers, well, for almost all readers. The subject matter is most decidedly adult. While the settings and action are all decidedly unpleasant, there is humor, and the dulled sheen of intellect can be seen through the muck. This is not Milton or Dante, but essentially you're getting the same stories.

This book was among the very first books I bought on my Kindle, thinking that i'd give some "alternative" genres a go and all that. It took me quite a fair while to actually get round to reading it, as often when I was looking at what book to read next I was, almost inexplicably, drawn to another title... But one day I thought that enough was enough and just bit the bullet, and I couldn't be happier.Having seen the other chap rate this book as a 1 star I was tempted to plug for 5 to just help iron out the balance, but truth be told it isn't a 5 star effort, but a 4 it most certainly is! It's a set of 3 novellas if you will, each dealing with, what a forgiving yet indulgent grandmother would call 'colorful material' yet are genuinely delightful and vivid.They say that being crude just gives people a right to turn away from what you say, and this is crude, and you can easily turn your nose up at it but please don't. Give it a go and I do think you'll find quite a few lovely little journeys in this one ;)

You know when you want to just exist without being disrupted? Or you don't want strangers to sit next to you on public transport? This is perfect, the stories are good too

A subdued little passage. Only Monster Cocks et al. A real book for bedtime !! [fnaar, fnaar !!]

Habe mir, um erlich zu sein, dass Buch wegen seines Titels bestellt. Nicht das ich nicht wüsste auf was ich mich da einlasse, ich habe bereits Bizarro Literatur gelesen und ich fühle mich in diesem Genre sehr wohl.Das Buch besteht aus 3 Kurzgeschichten:1. Moster Cocks.Hier geht es um einen IT Fachmann, der sich Online etwas zur Penisvergrößerung bestellt... und das geht dann fürchterlich in die Hose.Monster Cocks ist wohl die am leichtesten zugänglichste Geschichte des Buches. Geradeaus geschrieben und wird gegen Ende hin sehr schräg. Die Story ist zwar lustig, aber leider habe ich insgesammt eher nur geschmunzelt, als ausgibig gelacht. 3 von 52. Journey to the Center of Agnes CuddlebottomNa das ist doch schon eher etwas. Eine alte, kokainabhängige Prostituierte wírd im Krankenhaus mit einer neuartigen Prozedur behandelt, in der ein Arzt geschrumpft und direkt in ihren Anus gesetzt wird um das Problem von innen zu lösen. Mit der Zeit ist es aber nicht nur der Arzt, der sich dort ansiedelt. Ihm folgen Presse, Geschäftsmänner, usw bis sich eine richtige "kleine" Infrastruktur dort ansiedelt.Im gegensatz zur ersten Story habe ich mich hier halb totgelacht. Die Geschichte wird im Stile von verschiedenen Interviews fortgeführt (zu vergleichen mit der Erzählstruktur von World War Z). FGür mich mit abstand der Höhepunkt des Buches. 5 von 53 Crazy s*** PlanetEine Geschichte über Freundschaft und FäkalienEine reine Bizarro geschichte, wo man keinen Plan hat was eigentlich abgeht, aber trotzdem spürt, dass sie viel Herz besitzt. Eine komplett Wahnsinnige Story über einen Mann und seinen besten Freund, die auf einer Welt leben, die voll ist mit den Fäkalien von der reichen Oberschicht, die in Himmelsstädten wohnt und in riesigen Robotern durch die Gegend fliegt. Hier regnet es Compute, Fahrräder... und natürlch ein Haufen Kacke. Bekommt von mir 4 von 5 Punkten.Fazit: Für mich eine gute, eine tolle und eine herrausragende Geschichte in einem Buch, dass für Leute mit schrägen Humor sicher zu empfehlen ist.

Obviously it was the title of this book that first caught my eye. I'm not sure how it came to my attention but with a title like that, I thought that this book merits further investigation. I had a look at some reviews on amazon.com and they seemed generally favourable so I thought I'd give it a go. Perhaps there was some humour to be found within its pages.I'm tempted to say that this book was one of the worst books I've ever read, but that would be untrue. This book was, without a doubt, the worst book I've ever read. It is awful. There isn't a shred of humour to be found in it, no matter how much you persevere. It's depressing to know that something like this is in print and in circulation. It's a blight on our planet.Don't buy this book. Don't read it. Don't even pick it up. Life's too short, even if you live to be 150. Normally I give my old books to a charity shop but this one is going in the bin. I'm even going to take it out to the bin in the street so that it's not in my house any longer.I think I'm going to be sick.