Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family

I am a 37 year old widow with one child and am considering the possibility of adopting an older child and having a baby, either with a known or anonymous donor. I liked that the author raised issues pertinent to conceiving or adopting a child on your own, but I felt alienated by this book. It was directed toward aging single women who were considering conceiving on their own *for the first time.* I am a single woman who wants more family. I want my son to have siblings and want him to have the type of support system that comes as a result of being raised in a nuclear family. Considering that half of all marriages end in divorce, and that many young women become widowed and choose to not remarry, I think it was somewhat short sighted of the author to focus solely on women who had never married or had other children. I'm reasonably sure I'm not the only single mom out there who would like to have a family for her child or children. Should women like me have to find some man to provide for us and our kids? I don't think so.Also, the author seems to have a bias against women accepting any sort of government assistance. Because I am widowed my child and I receive Social Security benefits. I took offense when she made a point of writing in the follow-up section of the book that the women in her study were not financially ruined and receiving government assistance as a result of their choice to have children without a partner, then turned around and praised the women for being resourceful and securing Pell grants for their college aged kids.That said, it was a really good book. I liked it a lot. It was well written, easy to read, provided A LOT of information (though most of it was very general), and provided me with ideas for utilizing resources I'd not previously considered and a glimpse of what may lie ahead for my family.

I came into reading this book with low expectations based on some of the previous reviews, but I enjoyed it greatly. It's newer than many of the other books I've read of the subject - of which there isn't a large selection to begin with - and it's very thoughtfully put together. There are personal stories of women who arrived at single motherhood in many different ways, and also analytical breakdowns of different matters related to single motherhood. A very good read, and definitely a more educated piece of work than many others.

Once in a while you read a book that opens your eyes. This is one of those books: a compelling account of how women from virtually every class and race surmount convention to have children, provide them with richly supportive -- if often improvised -- home and family, and fill in the gaps they feel separate them from the "normal" family. Hertz has a gift for selecting the right stories to tell. She also produces a clear sociological analysis of those stories without being overbearing or jargonistic. This is a must for policymakers anxious to "save the American family."

Loved it! Dr. Hertz is a marvel!

There are many books on this subject I wanted to read, and I chose this one first because it seemed to be an objective, analytical sketch of a relatively new sociological phenomenon. But it turns out not to be the academic examination it purports to be. Hertz's "discoveries" are broad and simplistic; moreover, most of the dilemmas she reveals are the struggles not merely of single mothers by choice, but of all women who have to work to support their families, even 2-parent families. She does make a few insightful claims about these women and their choices, but then she repeats those claims over and over. The book should be half as long as it is.But perhaps the most unsettling thing about this read is that I was not expecting such subjectivity. Hertz makes assertions about the motives and ultimate effects of the choices these single women make, and her assertions clearly mark her moral and ethical stance, however much she tries to hide it. If you are expecting detached, academic insight, look elsewhere.The one very good thing the book does offer, though, is the vignettes themselves. The individual profiles from this diverse group of women are interesting.

As someone who is currently single and trying to become a mother, this is not a book I would recommend. I was looking for something a bit more practical and this read more like someone's thesis. Also, I didn't identify with many of the women profiled. Their reasons or the reasons given for choosing this path just didn't ring true for me.The one part of the book I enjoyed was hearing the different stories about how the women explained the "fathers" to the children. That was very helpful since I've been struggling with the story that I will tell.

This book is written in two seperate parts. I did not read the part for "single by chance" as I am going the choice route. This book was lame. REALLY lame! Not up to date on the subject. Also clearly written for a certain group (caucasian) of women. Does not speak to everyone--didn't speak to me at all. Would not recommend this book. There are SEVERAL better options out there!!

Great book to read if you are at that crossroads as I found myself at...what it doesn't tell you is how hard parenting is - but thats the case with or without a man. Withou a man means no conflicting messages, no fights, no let downs. With a man..you have monetary security - I am not a "money" person but there is no doubt that being a single mum puts you and your child in a vunerable position, especially in a recession.

This book is more of a sociological book than an informative book on the various options of becoming a single mother.

Occasionally a little dense, I think this is a scholarly analysis of the situation, not a 'how to' guide