The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Mass Market Paperback – May 11, 1998

I recommend this book for anyone looking to feel more safe in the world. Excellent read, very informative and insightful wish I found this book sooner!

"Real fear is a signal intended to be very brief, a mere servant of intuition. But though few would argue that extended, unanswered fear is destructive, millions choose to stay there. They may have forgotten or never learned that fear is not an emotion like sadness or happiness, either of which might last a long while. It is not a state, like anxiety. True fear is a signal that sounds only in the presences of danger yet unwarranted fear has assumed a power over us that it holds over no other creature on earth."~ Pg. 277I want to get this straight: this isn't a book, it's the script of a Criminal Minds episode. Okay, not really, but it feels like it. This nonfiction book is written with beautiful prose that reads like fiction and kept me turning page after page, like I needed to know what happened next, even though I've heard or read previously about most of the cases enlisted. It is compelling, if one word must describe it. A gripping (not to mention enlightening) look into violence, intuition and the human mind, all in 300 pages.Gavin De Becker goes in depth into many things through the course of this book. In the first chapters we explore not fear (the title is slightly deceiving) but instead the things surrounding fear and violence. Chapters one through six explore many topics including danger, intuition, violence and prediction. It is a valuable and fascinating tool, not only into the monster that all humans are capable of being but also into the human psyche in general.Throughout the remaining chapters, Becker delves into specific acts and aspects of violence and violent crimes (not only based off of the cases he has worked but based also on his personal experience) including but not limited too: people who can't say no, violence in the workplace (no, not just post offices), domestic violence, date stalking, violent children (thanks, for reminding me to be afraid of people my own age), and attacks against public figures.Probably the most interesting aspect of this book isn't the crime it explores, but the aspect of one's self that is explored. Including (but not limited too): how to learn to listen to yourself, learning that intuition isn't feminine, the differences between panic, anxiety, worry and fear (thought they were all the same thing, didn't ya?), and learning to differentiate between real and imagined threats. Oh, and we learn quite a bit about threats too.Ultimately, this book left me wanting to read it again, wanting to get everyone around me to read it and wanting to sit down for a chat with Gavin De Becker and ask him "what can you tell me about me?" but knowing better.

This book was recommended to me by my ninjutsu instructor, who is also a US Marshall that deals with highly dangerous fugitives. If you are considering this book, allow me to boil it down a little for you. Think of how you can sleep in your own house, city or country, with all its unusual sounds, etc., and it won't bother you at all - you sleep right through it all - but if you travel somewhere else, it can be harder to sleep because you notice new sounds. Or, you can have a loud noise next to you that you're used to, so you will sleep through it (like an alarm clock!), but you'll wake SHARPLY at the quietest creak of a floor board? That *should* be counter-intuitive, right? One is loud, the other is quiet? DeBecker explains how the subconscious is processing something like (and I am misquoting him here I'm sure) 2000 things per minute when our conscious mind only does 50 (the ratio is similar even if the numbers are off - feel free to correct in comments if you recall the real numbers). So, while you sleep, your subconscious was processing all those sounds as normal and not normal, and that loud ice machine (or alarm clock lol) is "normal" - it belongs there. That floor board creaking oh so quietly? NOT normal, wake the hell up NOW!THAT - your subconscious' ability to process thousands of things we aren't even aware of, then GIVE US CLUES - is the "gift of fear". What we struggle with as a society is knowing when it's that, and when it's just paranoia (hence the avoiding the news [or wrong/too much news] comments).This book teaches you how to clear off the cobwebs and learn how to understand what your brain is telling you. I'm EXTREMELY analytical and empirically-driven - YET - I have always had strong intuition, and it didn't make sense to me that a "gut feeling" could be so accurate when it didn't have "empirical data" to back it up. It gives people like me who need to see a scientific reason for intuition just that - because it actually is simply a cause & effect of real processes.There are so many astounding examples that I'd LOVE to put but I don't want to "spoil" the "OMG no way!" effect they had on me when I read them - so despite my enthusiasm, I will resist! But the examples, though some upsetting, are really astounding. To get the most of each, take each example and see if you can see how the principles apply. Train your brain.The reason I say this is helpful in more than just crime and violence is that the subconscious processes clues on more than just violence and danger. It processes EVERYTHING. Body language experts do this, for example. The "intuition" aspect of this has also helped me in business and people relations, because I've opened myself up more to subconscious cues that I thought I was getting before but were "silly" - turns out they were NOT silly, and by learning how and when to listen, I make better decisions and actions.If you really pay attention - maybe read this book twice! - this can really sharpen your skills in multiple areas. This is a book I recommend to so many people for so many reasons.

Bought copies for my nieces, as more often then not women are taught to shrink ourselves, be polite and accomodating, and sometimes to disastrous results. This book encourages one to develop their intuition and trust it, and lays out how with examples. High recommend!

Excellent book. A lot of focus on internal interpretation of your senses and how we should trust our instincts. Easy read and lots of good rationale for writers theories.

I wish this had been around before I was married the first time. It might have prevented that disaster.The message is basically, TRUST YOUR GUT!!!! Something so many of us don't learn until we are forced to, and by then, it might be too late.If you have a kid heading out into the world, into the wild, or are yourself taking that step, this is the perfect gift for them or yourself. It gives you a leg up on understanding why the hair on your neck just went up, why you just do NOT want to turn your back to someone that "feels" a bit skeevy. Even I, long past leaving the nest, learned a lot about trusting my gut, something I've instinctively done, in most cases, most of my life. And it helped me understand why I failed myself in situations I failed to "read" correctly.I don't care who you are. You need this book.

I asked a friend who was a psyvol major, to recommend a book on the subject. Great recommendation to anyone with an interest. Really makes you think and compare scenarios in your own life.

Apenas lo empece a leer y debo decir que es adictivo, casi sin darte cuenta pasas capítulo tras capítulo. El escritor explica las cosas fácilmente y pone ejemplos sencillos y cotidianos. La verdad que el regalo del miedo es un imprescindible para las mujeres que vivimos en entornos violentos (casi toda america latina y por lo que leí EUA).

Das Buch ist sehr gut geschrieben und sehr interessant. Es ist hilfreich und für jeden zu empfehlen.

I would recommend this to be read by everyone. Being a parent, I was able to relate to many things written in the book

Si quieres conocer el miedo, sus características, la información que nos aporta, sus formas y la forma de prevenirlo...Este libro es de gran utilidad. Ameno, interesante, con información y detalles que valen oro. Un ejemplar para leer en varias ocasiones.