Sadie Paperback

This book is incredible. It is absolutely breathtaking. What a page-turner, it will have you reading it in one go and you'll be left feeling bereft and shaken. You'll feel helpless and sad, but also kind of relieved and proud. Proud of Sadie and all she was able to accomplish, despite the lack of closure you (as a reader) get in the end.Everyone's going nuts over the ending, but I found the ending so realistic, so beautiful, exactly the way it should have been. I applaud Courtney Summers for her courage in writing such a poignant and important story and in ending it so fearlessly.The format of this book reminded me of a documentary format. Almost like I was watching "Making a Murderer", where you follow the series of events that occurred to someone through the eyes of radio producer, West McCray, who following Mary Beth's request (who was like a grandmother to Sadie and basically raised her), is determined to find Sadie and to get to the bottom of things. He does this through a podcast titled ‘The Girls’ to record and report his findings through episodes. At first, he is reluctant to go on this hunt, but his employer basically pushes him to do it. Once he starts his journey, he finds himself drawn into the lives of these people and especially that of Sadie.Sadie is nineteen years old, and has spent her whole life protecting her younger sister, Mattie. Their mom was a junkie, who eventually abandons them, and Sadie makes it her life's mission to protect her sister, first from her mom, then from her mom's countless boyfriends, and finally from life in general. Only Sadie realizes she couldn't protect her well enough, when Mattie is found dead in a ditch. A year later, when the case is closed and the police making little effort in the investigation to find her killer, Sadie sets out to find him herself.We read this story in alternating perspectives, one told by Sadie and the other by West, and it is executed to perfection. I loved Sadie's character, her strength, her stutter and how she managed it, her self-loathing, yet unconditional love for her sister that continued to drive her long after she was gone. I found myself falling in love with Sadie and the incredible selflessness and disregard to her own safety. I found myself rooting for her and applauding her craftiness in getting the information she needed. Her quest to avenging her sister was so pure, so honest, and I hated the guilt that she lived in, and wished I could comfort her and give her the love that she deserved. Sadie broke my heart.I also loved how Summers was able to show us so many different perspectives, and how well she was able to illustrate the "there's a different side to every story" phrase.It's not an easy book to read. There's a lot of violence and shocking content to get through. Topics discussed and portrayed are disturbing and sensitive and dark, but they are also real and thought-provoking and honest.Sadie needs to be read. Sadie is an important book. Sadie is real.

On a reread, there are still a lot of things I'm troubled by with this novel. I don't know Summers's history - and it's none of my business - but I feel uncomfortable, as a survivor of CSA, with non-survivors writing narratives like this. Of revenge. Also, I just don't find it particularly original, or fresh, though that's a much less complicated feeling.The ending also feels like a cop-out.I just feel like PTSD and trauma were handled a lot better in All the Rage.But there were good things, too, don't get me wrong. I still gave it three and a half stars.The way the fact that abusers can do good things at the same time as terrible things, it was good to see that. You can't tell who will do monstrous things just by looking at them.The sisterly and daughterly relationships were well done.It was written propulsively and sharply.But I can't get away from the fact that maybe people love this book because it conforms to their expectations of what CSA survivors are like, then because it truly represents us. Maybe that's unfair, but when you take on such a fraught topic, you do invite these speculations, I think.

I took this away with me on holiday and devoured it in less than a day. It was absolutely amazing and the second I'd finished it I messaged a bunch of friends to tell them they simply had to read it. I don't want to give away any spoilers so won't talk about the plot or go into too much detail, but the characters were incredible and 100% felt like real people (far too often I read books and think to myself, 'No one is like this in real-life....').The format, half from Sadie's POV in first person, and half podcast transcript really worked for this story. It was a format I'd never seen before and I hadn't realised before I started reading it that that's what it was, but I'm almost glad I didn't know because it might have put me off a bit and I might have looked over one of the best books I read in 2019.I have to applaud Courtney Summers for being fearless in her writing, she tackles difficult subjects with sensitivity and skill, and that ending... well it's a work of genius is all I'll say. I can't recommend this book highly enough, even months later I'm still thinking about it (and still recommending it to anyone who asks me what they should read next). I don't say this often but I wish I could give it more than five stars because it was honestly that good.