You Are Your Own: A Reckoning with the Religious Trauma of Evangelical Christianity

Holy sh…… I truly have no other opening words. What do you say about something that changes your life forever in a matter of two hours?I suffer from religious-trauma syndrome. My therapist once asked me to write down what I believed, and having left the church a few years prior, I realized I didn’t know WHAT I believed. So in addition to my short list of what I believed, I wrote what I didn’t believe and what I was taught to believe. By the end of this assignment, I realized how brainwashed I was from christianity for my first 25+ years of life, and my journey through religious-trauma syndrome began.I started looking for resources as I began to lose my sense of self. I wanted to find out if anyone else could understand what I was experiencing and help me through this journey because they had been through it themselves. I needed someone “in my head”.I came upon this book. The title instantly grabbed me. I had no sense of what I believed, and here was Jamie telling me that I was my own. I instantly clicked on it, not sure if I was about to be brainwashed by another cult or if I would truly find an understanding soul. I was so thankful to find it was the latter.I purchased this book and started reading it as soon as it arrived. I didn’t put it down until I finished. I AM NOT AN AVID READER, folks, and have a lot of focus issues. This was a huge deal for me to read it instantly, and in one sitting. The two hours it took to read this (seriously, who doesn’t have two hours to change their life?) were filled with tears, enlightenment, self-reflection, acceptance, open-mindedness, and the strength to come out saying “YOU ARE YOUR OWN”. I’ve never looked back. I no longer run to my child’s room to see if she’s been “raptured up” when I hear a noise, because I “know I’d be left behind due to my sinful life”. I don’t look at the world as sinful any longer. I allow myself to have my own opinions instead of letting the men in my life dictate every single decision and thought for me like they’ve always done. IN A MATTER OF TWO HOURS, I FELT UNDERSTOOD! I felt I had the freedom to be my own person for the first time in my life.I purchased this book at the beginning of the year. It has changed my life 180°. I have been able to step back and look at everything (religion, politics, world issues, my appearance) from my own perspective for the first time in my life. I am an entirely knew person after finding this book. I’ve waited to write my review so not to be perceived like I was on a “high” from reading another “life-journey” book. This isn’t a self-help book. This is a “you aren’t effed up, let’s get through this together” book.-If you are searching for answers and have nowhere to turn when leaving your religion, BUY THIS BOOK.-If you are questioning your faith and want to know what to do, BUY THIS BOOK.-If you are a female raised in religion, BUY THIS BOOK.-If you are a male raising your family in religion, BUY THIS BOOK.-If you are the parent of a child you forced to be raised in a religious home, BUY THIS GD BOOK to know what you did to us!Let Jamie take you on an immersion through her own experiences to realize you aren’t alone in what you are feeling. There is hope on the other side; just give up two hours of your life. That’s the same length as a church service, after all. Skip the indoctrination and get validated. YOU ARE YOUR OWN!

Well written, with much empathy and also information and guidance.

It was a good read. I learned some things I never realized about my journey of religious deconstruction. But... I think it was a little over priced for how thin the book was.

Recommended by a therapist, this book was an insightful and honest glimpse into the author’s deconstruction process from Evangelicalism. I found it helpful overall.

As I was struggling to process my own stages of deconstruction from the various forms of churches and evangelical expressions in my journey, finding Jamie's book could not have been more timely. While my journey is slightly different from Jamie's experience, there is so much I could relate too. Reading her experience and the thoughts in the book really illuminated a lot of things for me, and helped me know I was in a healthy place in my journey. She also provides many wonderful resources and recommendations for those working through healing religious trauma and disembodiment.Wonderfully researched and presented in a concise and relatable format, Jamie's work is one of the best I've encountered on this subject. Jamie clearly states that her book is colored by her personal experience and feelings, yet she remains very objective and straightforward with how she presents the information.This book is an excellent resource for someone dealing with disillusionment or trauma from an evangelical or other religious foundation, or someone outside of this who would seek further understanding of someone who is dealing with the issues in this book. Must have resource for counselors or professionals who seek tools to help others deal with healing from these issues. Also for those within the church culture who are scratching their heads why there seems to be upturn in people leaving church, (and who actually wish to go beyond just chalking the answer to this up to a scripture saying in the last days there will be a great falling away), I highly recommend this book. It is very enlightening with many issues that church culture shies away from, hard questions and feelings christians are taught they should not ask or doubt, and some very strong things to consider in how church culture is conducted and influences people's lives.

Jamie teaches in-depth about the effects of religious trauma on our souls and bodies. She explains it thoroughly and with compassion because of her own traumatic religious past. I could identify with a lot of the things she felt and I also developed an eating disorder. Although my childhood wasn't abusive and I wasn't in a form of Evangelicalism as restrictive as hers in many ways, but in some ways more restrictive, I identified deeply with the whole "put God first" and "your body is not your own," harmful ideas and the effects they had on my psyche. I love, love that she said that it doesn't just show in our minds, but in our bodies and that we may know how harmful the ideas are in our minds but our bodies still need to catch up. I think my biggest catch-up I need to work on is with purity culture. I love the idea of releasing shame through dance and movement. There are so many valuable takeaways from this book. I can't wait to read her possible future book on purity culture.

This book was the missing piece to my puzzle. I've been in therapy for years, but never knew the source of where some of my issues started or why I had such terrible anxiety from a young age. I bought the audio version of this book and listened to it in just a few hours. It shook me to the core. I could relate to nearly everything mentioned in the book. I then took that knowledge to my therapist, who was able to pinpoint where some of my issues had started. It also has helped the healing progress. If you have ever been forced to go to an evangelical church and had religion crammed down your throat against your will, and feel hurt by it, just check out the sample of this book. It was money well spent for me.

First and foremost, Jamie Lee Finch writes with compassion. This book is a must-read for literally anyone who harbours doubts about the truth of Evangelicalism. The stories are heart-breaking; they reflect so many of our own experiences.I would say this book saved my life, but really it provides a honest, unobstructed view of the truth of contemporary evangelicalism, and offers new language and ways of thinking about the conundrum of being abused and trapped in various forms of toxic Christianity.We've left the church, but maintained a more generous open, kind and loving faith, in large part due to this book.It's a short easy read, but it challenges both institutional and personal beliefs, actions, and behaviors.This is a great book and did my heart and soul good. There are few books I can be grateful I've read. This is one of them.

This is a much needed book. There is so much validation in these pages, and I found myself nodding in agreement along the way. I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 only because the writing style was lacking a bit. There are strings of very long and wordy sentences, which made the info a little harder to digest. The organization is also a little hard to follow, and would have been better if she had broken it up into more sections or chapters. Those are just the opinions of this English major and upcoming Law student. Still worth the read for the important content.

The research Jamie has done and the argument is very interesting and a well done critique of Evangelicalism. This book sets up the foundation for more work and I hope to see more publications from her in the future.On a personal level this book really helped me see my experiences as trauma and explains my body’s response to growing up Evangelical. This has really cemented for me that I cannot raise my children in the same way I was raised.I wish the last section of the book had been a bit longer on the healing aspects and given some more specific practices survivors could begin. It felt a bit rushed. Still five stars though for the importance of this work and the well done thesis.

Very similar to my own experience, I'm not alone! Thankyou!!!Nowadays, one of the most wonderful things in my new life is being my own. Cheers to healing togethrr, highly recommend.

Unfortunately this book leaves a lot to be desired. It reads like an academic paper, hard to get engaged. I’m wary of the information on trauma and healing in this book as it is not coming from a place of being a trained therapist herself, but of someone having scratched the surface of research. If this book had been more of a memoir/storytelling I think I would have enjoyed it more.