The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict Paperback – July 13, 2015

Leadership is a tricky task. No amount of technical excellence makes a good leader. The Arbinger Institute, a leadership research group, suggests that a heart at peace internally is the most important component for individuals to lead effectively. They contend this assertion applies to almost every realm of leadership, from parenting and organizations to world politics. And they show exactly how in this leadership fable.This story tells about a group that resolves family conflicts at a counseling center named Mount Moriah. The center deals with troublesome teens while the parents learn how to deal with their own leadership issues. The parents improve primarily through being confronted with themselves – their attitudes and dispositions, their “ways of being.”A Palestinian Muslim and an Israeli Jew guide the group. They talk about how their own life stories have reconciled themselves to each other despite prevailing war among their peoples. They have not solved Mideast peace, sadly, but they have brought their hearts to a greater position of peace. They seek to convey the lessons learned to these parents. The impact involves not only their families but every element of the adults’ lives.This book is a prequel to another bestselling book by the Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception. Its principles are similar about being in and out of “the Box,” but this work better extrapolates what their views of leadership incorporate across the whole of life. The conflict-resolution lessons taught here do apply to business, but it reaches and engages much more. Thus, by using Martin Buber as a sage, the book explores more philosophy than just organizational leadership.Conflict resolution is central to leadership’s task wherever it is exercised. After a certain age, most of us have a leader’s role in life whether we like it or not. Therefore, this book’s appeal is fairly universal. Even when we live a solitary life, we usually must become involved in local, national, or world events that themselves ineluctably involve conflict. So we have to learn to do the hard work ourselves. This successful book lights a healthy way to start remedying conflict.

To get the full effect, the three books must be read, in no particular order. I began with Leadership and Self Deception, which intrigued me so much I immediately bought Anatomy of Peace and Outward Mindset. These books expose our inner motives, which is painful, but as the book is titled, it leads the reader to real peace. I've suggested this book to friends of mine: Sherrie was struggling to cope with her daughter's eating disorder which was spiraling out of control. She read it in 2 days and she's able to view the entire situation with a new vision and serenity.I began reading Leadership and Self Deception with a group of business partners looking to maximize ourselves to better serve others. We do this on a monthly basis and all the books we choose are profoundly life changing. Of all the books we've read in the past few years, this is number 2 (Insidious is number 1) and I refer back to the lessons regularly.

This is such a great book. It really made me think about how I was coming across and how my intentions might be affecting outcomes.

I got this book for a class, and as far as textbooks go, it’s decent. It’s written as a story, which I found challenging because it makes it harder to judge whether certain principles are truly useful—the author can shape the scenarios however they want. That said, the concepts in this book are fascinating, and it really opens your eyes to different perspectives.

Over the past 15 years, I have read and revisited the principle of self-deception taught in Anatomy of Peace numerous times. I may be overstating its importance, but this may be the most valuable idea I learned in life so far. It comes up every day, in every relationship, and it is deceptively powerful and subtle. But becoming aware of my self-deception and how to address it has opened the door to tremendous freedom and personal growth. The lesson of self-deception gave new perspective to the oft repeated advice, "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and "Do unto others as you'd have done to you."This has been an extremely valuable book in my family. It has helped me invite tremendously valuable improvements in my marriage, my relationships with my children, my coworkers, and everyone else I cross paths with as I go about life. I have lost my interest in making people change. I want to meet them where they're at in life. I want to understand their perspective. I want to help them, where I can, to make their own life better. I can't do it for them and I don't want to. Life is a wonderful experience. I would rather help people in their own efforts to realize their full potential, as opposed to fussing and fretting because other people aren't "doing it right". Why am I the right one and they are wrong? I have not only learned that we are smarter than I, but I welcome other's perspective and insights, which help me to see more clearly than I can on my own.

This was well written and had good insights of how we can deal with challenges in our families in a way that brings peace to both sides. Thank you!