The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read: (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) Hardcover – February 4, 2020

Everyone is or has been at least one of these things: Parent, child, grandparent, grandchild, uncle, aunt, niece, or nephew. Most of us inhabit more than one of those roles, and they can define us, shape us, and not uncommonly, dominate our self-understanding in ways both good and bad. There is no shortage of specific advice to parents on subjects from children’s sleeping habits to discipline, and it comes in a vast range of qualities, from excellent to dreadful.A theme common to many of these parental-advice books is to frame matters in training terms: Sleep training, potty training, discipline training, and so on. While the training mindset may be useful for specific subjects a child needs to learn, it’s inadequate to the big picture of parenting. That’s what makes Philippa Perry’s “The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read” a refreshing and highly worthwhile alternative to read.Perry, who practices as a psychotherapist and admits to her own parenting faults refreshingly and openly in her book, makes the excellent case that, fundamentally, “we should not see our babies, children, and teenagers as chores to feed and clean or otherwise fix but as people from the start, people we are going to have lifelong relationships with”. In an engaging and warm tone, Perry offers thoughtful and accessible advice useful not only for parents, but for grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even adult children as well. Over and over, she directs many of the common complaints and conflicts of adult-and-child interactions to the root cause of considering the underlying relationship.It’s hard to look at a newborn and imagine that in very little time at all, that diapered bundle of cries will turn into an adult. But the more deliberately the adults around that child consider their relationships with the child (especially in times of conflict, but also when laying the groundwork to avoid conflict), the better the outlook for how both individuals and the relationship between them will mature.This is a book with insights containing value for anyone – even a childless orphan of advanced years, unless perhaps that individual is cloistered away from all human contact. But everyone else can gain at least some useful insight into relationships between generations, whether for current relationships or for understanding past ones. Perry reminds the reader that, even though we are all imperfect, parents (and other adults) don’t have to strive to perfect the children in their orbits, because “[Y]ou are creating a person to love, not a work of art”. The book’s title may be over-the-top, but its advice is exceedingly well-grounded.

This book has invaluable insight and will make you a better parent. You will be able to collaborate with your children instead of being too strict or too lax. When you make a mistake, you will learn how to own your mistakes and repair the rupture.

Alot of it is common knowledge when you work with kids,have kids , been around kids but it can be hard to put into action. The pregnancy chapter I recommend the most. So helpful . All in all a good read .

I want to make sure I am not behaving in ways that will impact my children to need therapy in the future. I want them to know they are loved, wanted and needed, and that I enjoy spending time with them. I don’t want to be critical, and I want them to respect me while also knowing I respect them. This books aids in ways to execute all of that. It provides the reader with easy to implement communication tools and very clearly explains how to help children through, -and articulate, their feelings. 10/10!

I was moved by this book. The writing is straightforward, optimistic and grounded.I appreciated the parts about setting boundaries with your child and telling the truth about them—they are expressions of our feelings: I want to leave the playground bc I’m bored and cold, or I’m not ready for you to ride the subway home alone at night, even though I feel you are responsible. As a parent, I’ve sometimes felt as though my own feelings weren’t a proper basis for boundaries, but it was so helpful to read that not only is this acceptable, it’s good for your child bc she will learn to recognize and state her own feelings and grow to be a good communicator.There were many good insights such as this one and the tone was kind to both parents and children. I felt buoyed in spirits by the end.

"The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read" by Philippa Perry is a refreshingly candid and empathetic guide to navigating the complexities of parenthood. Perry brings her expertise as a psychotherapist and her own experiences as a parent to offer insightful advice on fostering a healthy parent-child relationship.The book goes beyond traditional parenting manuals, focusing on the emotional aspects of parenting and encouraging parents to reflect on their own upbringing. Perry provides practical tools to build communication, empathy, and understanding within the family dynamic. Her conversational writing style and real-life examples make the book accessible and relatable."The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read" is a valuable resource for both new and experienced parents, offering a holistic approach to parenting that emphasizes emotional connection. It challenges conventional wisdom and invites parents to embrace a more open and compassionate approach, making it a recommended read for anyone seeking to enhance their parenting journey.

Excited about reading this book as I am just starting . I am just a little disappointed it came slightly water damaged and now doesn't have the feeling of holing a brand new book.

My therapist recommended this book to me and man it was a game changer. I wish so badly that I had read this before I had my daughter but things come to us when we need them most. 10/10 would recommend over and over again. Plus I loved the authors voice and accent when she read it for the audiobook.