Unbecoming Hardcover – February 23, 2016

Unbecoming by Jenny Downham is one of those books you eagerly pick up when you have time to relax.Ms. Downham is a gifted story teller. She has that rare quality of describing common sights in with fresh analogies bringing vivid images to mind. For example, “Pat brings the cigarette to her lips and takes a long pull. All the skin around her mouth wrinkles like a drawstring on a purse.” Perfect image!The story is centered on a teenager, her mother, and grandmother, each with their demons and gifts which have been influenced by their interrelationships. How the women respond to challenges like peer pressure, aging, homosexuality, abandonment, rings so true and resonated in me.The book is full of suspense which compelled me to keep reading just one more short chapter before I had to put the book down. I also enjoyed learning a little about the differences in the social networks and support in the UK vs the US.Thanks for the pleasure.

A well written book that shows the sad, fearful side of someone suffering from dementia and the joyful, happy side when the same person can share memories and "be in the moment." The Editorial Review on Amazon stated that this book was for Grades 9 and up. I am a peer of Mary's age but I enjoyed learning about the lives and struggles of the rest of the immediate family and how Mary impacted them.

So delighted to read this novel that touches on so many points and relates to absolutely more than one generation.I am extraordinarily sensitive to storylines that touch on Alzheimer's disease. Jenny does so while touching on the storylines of the other characters affected by the disease as well. Bravo.

Outstanding writing, good character development, interesting story line.

This story kept my interest. Realistic characters and emotions. .

Beautifully written. About the strength of love and the importance of communication. Also, no one's perfect and that is okay.

Daughter was a dealing with a lot. Loved her relationship with Mary.

Mary Todd has always had a spark of life that led her on wild adventures and she was always ending up in new places with new people. Even as she grew older she retained a captivating unpredictability. However, what might’ve been most unpredictable to fearless, invincible Mary was when her memory began deteriorating. Mary has maintained somewhat of an independent life with her husband for years, but her memory has continued to fade. When Mary’s husband unexpectedly dies, she’s left in the care of the most surprisingly foreign people of all --- her daughter’s family.Caroline, Mary’s biological daughter, feels anything but warmth toward the spontaneous and charismatic woman who abandoned her years ago. It’s already enough that she is parenting two teenagers by herself, while working a full-time job to support her family. What she needs is for her son, Chris, to behave and for her daughter, Katie, to be the good girl she knows. With her estranged mother’s sudden appearance, her children’s lives are turned upside down alongside hers, and her past is brought to the forefront in ways she never planned.Teenage Katie is busy dying of mortification from something that happened a few days ago when Mary materializes, and what better way to take her mind off of her humiliation than to get to know this mysterious grandmother she’s never met? As Mary and Katie grow closer, Katie becomes increasingly influenced by Mary’s bravery in being herself. Katie resolves to find some courage of her own and uncover the truth of Mary and Caroline’s past --- figuring out her own present in the process.UNBECOMING follows Mary, Caroline, and Katie throughout different periods of their lives, as told from the different perspectives of each woman. This style of narration definitely provides insight into every character’s actions and feelings, and it allows for a slow reveal of important past events, jumping from time periods in order to leave you wanting more.The characters are generally quite likeable, and Mary and Katie’s connection is touching, as are the gritty complexities of the other relationships within the novel. Because the characters in the book are so real and flawed, it is easy to get frustrated with some of their actions or reactions, but I think this adds another level of depth.The novel tackles a lot of tough subjects like coping with degenerative disease, family tensions, and learning to accept and embrace your own identity, even if it’s tough. The story is enthralling, and although some parts are a bit slower than others, as the characters develop, you can’t help but root for each of the women to have her happy ending. Within the plot there are a lot of important morals and messages that are conveyed subtly but with expertise. There are ups and downs, and at parts the novel is quite sad, but that being said, this is a story about family and living bravely, and considering this, it’s expected that there will be highs and lows just as there are in real life.For sisters, mothers and grandmothers especially, UNBECOMING is a book that is sure to tug at the heartstrings.Reviewed by Laura T., Teen Board Member

Unbecoming is a story of the chaos brought to seventeen-year-old Katie’s life by the discovery that she is attracted to her best friend and by the arrival of in the family of Mary, the grandmother she didn’t know existed. Katie struggles to deal with the repercussions of kissing her best friend at the same time as trying to work out what secret trauma lies behind the estrangement between her mother, Caroline and her grandmother, Mary, a mystery made more convoluted by the gaps in Mary’s memory due to her growing dementia and Caroline’s refusal to talk about the past.I found the depiction of Mary honest and moving, skilfully drawn through her present day point of view and that of her past self, with overlapping parts where memory segued into reality and vice versa. The scenes where she could not work out who she was talking to, where she muddled Caroline with Pat and Katie with Caroline, and where she saw the ghosts of each person at different ages seemed to me to express perfectly the way we hold on to memories to help us make sense of the present, and how losing those memories to dementia makes a person lose themselves. Giving us the overlapping stories of Caroline and Mary’s past from their different points of view told a truth about the shifting nature of reality, that it is possible to see the same thing play out from two different positions and come up with a different picture.Unbecoming was not without flaws. After speeding breathlessly through the first two hundred pages, the pace slackened and I found myself a little less engaged. It’s a tricky thing, building a picture of time passing in a book and of things that become regular such as the Katie and Mary’s walks and café visits. I was also confused by the timescale. If Caroline was 14 in 1968 when she began looking after her grandfather, and 29 in 1983 when he died, what did she do for the next 10+ years before she started having babies in her mid-forties? Surely if she was so damaged by the past this time matters?In all, I’d say Unbecoming was a strong contender for the YA Book Prize. I’d give it four and a half piranhas if we had half piranhas. What’s knocking it off the top mark for me is the flaws I’ve mentioned plus the fact that a five-piranha book is one I know I’ll come back to, and, though I’ll certainly read more by Jenny Downham, I think this is a one-read book.

I loved this story about mothers and daughters across the generations. A really good read very believable and likeable characters I could not put It down.

I really love this book. Once I started I couldn't put it down and it actually had me blinking back tears at several points. I think what's brilliant about it is the emotional honesty - I think it speaks profoundly to anyone who has a family. Couldn't recommend it highly enough.

great condition. Thanks

bought for my granddaughter - don't know

really enjoyable read about three generations of women and the dynamics between them

Amazing book could not put it down. Recommend it to anyone

great plot!

I loved this story of three generations of the women in this family, grandmother, mother and daughter. The hurts that were endured, the truth that was withheld and the past that was misunderstood. It is so very well written and woven together as the grandmother and mother share their own memories with the daughter that the truth is finally revealed making their story whole.

christmas presant to grand children

An easy to read book, found it rather lack lustre, tho a clever way to relate a story through the eyes of three generations - grandmother, mother, daughter - and unravel unspoken family issues and secrets. Easy to pick up and carry on reading where left off. Doesn't inspire me to read anything else written by this author. Shame, just not to my taste, tho I'm sure other readers will thoroughly enjoy it.

Good read