If Only: Letting Go of Regret Paperback – July 1, 2014

I am not a big reviewer of products. For this book I made an exception to my reviewing habits.This book awed me. It is a very honest and constructive approach to dealing with our past baggage of regrets. Ms Van Loon reaches in her heart and tells us poignant observations of what went awry in her life with the hopes of helping each one of us to deal with misgivings in our own daily lives. Each chapter ends with some very thought provoking questions and a beautiful prayer.

Enjoyed the perspective in the book..obviously, God doesn't want us to spend our days regretting our mistakes. I never thought about it that way.

Encouraging and revealing.

Good book.

A balm for the soul

Michelle Van Loon writes candidly and graciously about regret, reminding readers that regret is neither something to be totally ignored nor fully indulged. "I have beaten myself up with the past I thought would please [God] better than the past I have lived." If only . . . If only . . . If only. This refrain is recognizable to anyone who has lived earnestly and yet fallibly. We certainly can't change the past, and Van Loon is clear to say that God doesn't want us returning mercilessly to our mistakes. However, "Our regrets may be a sign that we're responding to God's work in our lives." Perhaps our regrets mean to drive us deeper into the gospel, where we remember that, "Jesus didn't carry a list of exemptions when he headed to the cross." Regret forces us to confront the imperfect people we are and the bad decisions we've made. But it also reminds us of our loving and generous God who doesn't waste our regrets. "There is nothing - not a single thing you currently claim as a regret - in your history," writes Van Loon, "that is beyond God's redemption." I recommend this wise book for people struggling to forgive, not only others, but themselves.

Michelle Van Loon writes, “Regret is never, ever, meant to be a destination in our lives.” For many of us, it’s not only a destination, but a way of life. As a past the middle of life wife, mom, and author/writer, Van Loon understands the power of regret. She vulnerably shares some of the choices that she has made throughout her life which have contributed to her own wrestling matches with shame. She drills down into this powerful emotion with wisdom, authority, and humor. (My favorite laugh out loud passage in the book: “We were like a two-person, twelve-step self-help group.”)Perhaps the most winning attribute of Van Loon’s book is the warmth and utter lack of judgment. She comes off as the big sister we all wanted: empathetic, funny, and generous. There’s an unstated understanding that Yes, we all screwed up but let’s not lose anymore ground to our accuser. Let’s grab hold of God and each other and keep moving. Insightful questions end each chapter along with an honest, accessible prayer. Buy the book. You won’t regret it.

None of us are without regrets. Some regrets are the light-hearted stuff of dinner-stories, but others carry our deepest shame and fears. Common to both, however, is a struggle to know how to make peace with and move forward after decisions or situations that we wish had been different: whether things done to us or by us.Reading Van Loon's little book felt like sitting down over coffee with a warm, wise friend: one who listens without judging, who has been there, who has compassion and who also holds out hope. She weaves personal story and (often hilariously retold) Biblical stories with insight and warmth - and a strong, encouraging conviction that we need not live imprisoned by the coulda shoulda woulda's of our lives.This book is easy to read, and yet profound and challenging. I finished my copy having dog-eared a dozen pages to come back to for reference, and having underlined a couple dozen more. It is a book worth reading, worth recommending, and worth buying for others as a gift... because as much as this book is about letting go, this is not a book I am willing to part with."What if," asks Van Loon, "regret is our Redeemer's gift to us?" With humility and insight, Van Loon guides her readers into a new way of dealing with our regrets - seeing them as signposts to areas that we can yet bring to God and see redeemed and healed. And with a friend like Van Loon as one's guide, loosening one's grip on some of our deepest regrets seems so much more doable than we might ever have imagined.Highly recommended for readers of every age and stage in life. We all have lived long enough to wish we'd done something differently; and we all have years yet to live freely without the burdens of the past.