Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel Paperback – Deckle Edge, May 26, 2009

"Snow Flower and The Secret Fan" is an epic tale which chronicles the lives of two Chinese women, Lily and Snow Flower. Set in a remote area of Hunan Province, Lily was born in 1823, "on the fifth day of the sixth month of the third year of Emperor Daoguang's reign." During her lifetime, Lily lives through the reigns of four emperors. Most Chinese girls had their feet bound and spent their lives in seclusion in nineteenth century China. Isolated and illiterate, they were not expected to think or to express emotions. They were expected to bear sons. However, the fortunate women living in Hunan villages of the Jian-yong region were exempt from some of this harsh oppression. They were taught to write a special women's language and they were allowed, on occasion, to form special friendships.This deeply affecting novel begins with Lily, an eighty-eight year-old woman, and our narrator, who looks back over her life with bitterness and regret. She is haunted by memories of the past, by actions and events she cannot change. And she remembers, above all else, her laotong friend Snow Flower. "This special relationship formed by two girls, is made by choice for the purpose of emotional companionship and eternal fidelity. A marriage is not made by choice and has only one purpose - to have sons." Often "this special friendship would be formed through an intermediary, like a matchmaker, much like an arranged marriage. Women of suitable birthdays, ages, backgrounds and birth-signs would be paired this way in a bond of exclusive sisterhood that would last a lifetime and would survive marriage, child-birth and widow-hood. A laotong relationship would be rarely renounced or broken."The people in Lily's village now call the venerable woman, "one who has not yet died." For her entire life she longed for love, although as a girl and later as a woman, she knew it was not right to expect it. As a third child, a second worthless girl, her mother looked upon her as just a temporary visitor, another mouth to feed, another body to dress, until she went to her husband's home.At the age of six, Lily never dreamed of sharing a laotong relationship. But one day, the town's foremost matchmaker, Madame Wang, visits her family and seeks to examine the child, primarily inspecting her yet unbound feet. Madame proclaims that Lily's feet are not developed enough to be bound at this time. "The girl is indeed very lovely but golden lilies are far more important in life than a pretty face. A lovely face is a gift from heaven, but tiny feet can improve social standing." She suggests that Lily's mother and aunt do their best to educate the girl in traditional ways. If she learns well, she might be eligible to marry into a well born family in the village of Tongkou. Madame Wang also speculates that Lily may be eligible for a laotong relationship.During the next year, Lily is taught the two Confucian ideals which govern a woman's life. The first is the "Three Obediences: when a girl obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband, when a widow obey your son." The second is the Four Virtues: " Be chaste and yielding, calm and upright in attitude; be quiet and agreeable in words; be restrained and exquisite in movement; be perfect in handiwork and embroidery." Most importantly, Lily's aunt taught her the secret women's writing Nu Shu. Believing women to be inferior, men disregarded this new script, and it remained unknown for centuries. Nu Shu, which is Chinese for "women's writing," was once written and sung by many of the women in Hunan villages.When Lily turns seven, it is time to bind her feet, a symbol for the subjugation of women in China. A perfect foot should be shaped like a perfect lotus bud and be no longer that the length of a thumb. This perfection is called the Golden Lotus. "Every pair of small feet costs a bath (kang) of tears." It is at this time that Madame Wang returns and tells the family that she has found a well-matched laotong relationship for the girl. Lily and Snow Flower are seemingly alike in all ways. The most important relationship in the girls' lives is about to begin and they are only seven years-old. Snow Flower has composed a poem of introduction for Lily, in Nu Shu, written within the tiny folds of a silk fan. Their friendship is sealed and they become "old sames."As years pass, through arranged marriage, childbirth, war, rebellion, famine, drought, loneliness and suffering, the bond between the two becomes stronger and they find happiness and solace in each other. Lily is blessed by good fortune. Snow Flower is not. Their friendship of over 30 years takes a turn for the worse. Although both friends are born under the sign of the horse, they are really quite different in spirit and in circumstances, and these differences become more marked by age and fate. Lily is practical and very traditional. It is easier for her to accept her subservient role, given her good fortune with a husband and many sons. Eventually her position is elevated to "Lady Lu," a respected community leader. However, she becomes limited in her ability to love Snow Flower. She can love her laotong "as a man would, valuing her only for following men's rules." Snow Flower, on the other hand, is a "horse with wings" who attempts to fly over life's constrictions. Now Lily laments that she didn't understand that "the bold horse of Snow Flower's childhood had been broken in spirit" by so much oppression. Lily was "stubborn enough to believe she could fix a horse that has gone lame."I have read all of Lisa See's novels and this is one of my favorites. I was really moved by the story of these two women and their fortitude living in such a terribly repressive, misogynistic environment. "Snow Flower and The Secret Fan" is a wonderfully rich historical novel. The in-depth character development is extraordinary. Ms. See's writing style is tight, fluid, and very descriptive. The author is a Chinese-American, (1/8 Chinese), and grew up in Los Angeles, spending much of her time in Chinatown. She has also traveled throughout China, to the modern cities and the most remote regions of the country. Lisa See has become one of my favorite authors. She has the unique ability to tell a tale while educating the reader. Very highly recommended - 5 Stars worth!!!Jana Perskie Peony in Love: A Novel On Gold Mountain: The One-Hundred-Year Odyssey of My Chinese-American Family Shanghai Girls: A Novel

And incredibly compelling insight into the lives of women in early 19th century China. As Lisa explains at the end of the book customs varied from area to area in China. But the value of women was clearly very low. I found it difficult to put this book down. I found the end a little disappointing.

-- “I am old enough to know only too well my good and bad qualities, which were often one and the same. For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me - as a girl and later as a woman - to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.” --In nineteenth-century China, when wives and daughters were foot-bound and lived in almost total seclusion, the women in one remote Hunan country developed their own secret code for communication: nu shu (“women’s writing”). Some girls were paired with laotongs, “old sames,” in emotional matches that lasted throughout their lives. They painted letters on fans, embroidered messages on handkerchiefs, and composed stories, thereby reaching out of their isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments.It would be easy to modernize the narration and character opinions, but the author stayed true to the mindset of women of that time. I appreciated that. While foot binding is really a practice I could not begin to comprehend in my mindset along with seeing the “beauty” of having small feet, back then it was a means to a husband, family, and a better life (but it was probably also just another way in which women were kept submissive and secluded). Foot binding was accepted by the women of that time. As foot binding is hard to visualize (7 cm feet?), I went to the Internet to look for images of this practice. How sad to see how these women’s feet were, basically, mutilated in what was considered beauty of that time!Being able to keep the narrator relatable while also keeping the historical mindset was a challenge that I think See accomplished brilliantly. I was able to feel empathy for the narrator because I could understand her longing to be loved and was able to comprehend the difficulties she had in her upbringing that formed her personality. Eventually when she grew up, she had expectations about love that were never met because she herself never learned to bend. She expected Snow Flower to do as she did. She did not invest emotionally when Snow Flower did things differently. And WOW… talk about emotionally charged! This would be the second book that has brought tears to my eyes and made me cry while reading it. The first? The last Harry Potter!-- “Read a thousand books, and your words will flow like a river.”--Its so interesting how the story is about Snow Flower but told by Lily, whose eyes we see things through. We only know Snow Flower via Lily, and we really come to love Snow Flower just as Lily does if not more. The dynamics and development of these characters was what kept me reading! Women were thought of as nothing back then. Their value was in their sons. Snow Flower was one woman who wanted more in life while Lily ended up a product of what society told her to be. Snow Flower finds her value in her friendship with Lily, while Lily plants her roots within social constructs. She was married into a good family with a kind husband who never took in a concubine and never hit her, she had a healthy son first, she became a woman of importance, but she attributed this to her strict adherence to the rules and not to her own person. Because of this, I believe this is why she missed out on the love Snow Flower was offering her freely. Lily never really finds herself to be of value. Even when she first met her laotong, she thought of herself as inferior to Snow Flower and stupid. Her mindset is that she follows the rules, and she sees herself blessed from that practice. Along the narration, Lily realizes her mistakes over and over again in what she does not see with Snow Flower, but she still becomes that detached motherly figure, just like her own mom was to her. Do this, and you’ll find happiness. Do that, and you’ll cause yourself trouble! Make another son, and you’ll be happy! It’s the fallout of this relationship that really builds up into a strong finale for the story. Even after Snow Flower dies, Lily comes to realize that Snow Flower basically did everything Lily wanted her to do in her suffering. She took treatments she didn’t want to take, she held onto life because Lily wanted her to, she tried to please Lily, even up to her painful death. And Snow Flower’s realization of all she had done, how she had thought about how Snow Flower’s suffering affected her versus what Snow Flower was feeling, how Lily misinterpreted things and ended up ruining her laotong’s reputation, never asking Snow Flower what she wanted or how she was, and finally Lily’s reflection on all this in the end, all of these feelings build up and made me feel Lily’s loss of not only her friend but also the time and opportunity she threw out.Reading about these women’s lives was at times painful. The story is fiction but well researched. I really felt the culture, and I know little to nothing about Chinese history. Things about the culture were told in a matter-of-fact manner in the narration (“this is the way it is”), but I felt like I was breathing along with Lily and experiencing her hardships with her, like her foot binding. Its the emotions and needs of these women that are the same throughout history and make this story fresh and relevant. To remember the struggles of these women is, I believe, a credit to their lives which would otherwise have been forgotten.-- “The three most important powers are Heaven, Earth and Man. The three luminaries are the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. Opportunities given by Heaven are not equal to the advantages afforded by Earth, while the advantages of Earth do not match the blessings that come from harmony among men” --I kept hearing over and over how having a daughter was considered “just another mouth to feed” until she left for her husband’s family. It was continually beat into the girls’ heads as it was the reader’s. I didn’t find this to be mindless repetition but instead saw it as the way women were addressed and treated. It was part of the experience of feeling myself standing beside Lily. Women were kept in their “upper rooms” most of the time. When thinking about it, we all have “upper rooms” we stay safe in. At home on the computer or focusing on family and not myself... what mother doesn’t do that? Lily fell victim to these things in her “rice and salt” years as I think we all easily can even nowadays. Lily’s inner conflicts are relatable. You can also see this historical mindset in other ways as when Third Sister was dying from an infection and the family chose not to “waste” cash on things to ease her suffering while she died. The stories they sung about women being submissive in order to teach lessons of how they should live their lives was sad to hear too! While Snow Flower fought against this, Lily did not. Lily wanted to be like Snow Flower, but while Snow Flower had learned refinement and dignity, Lily only learned the rules she must follow. Lily knows that Snow Flower is being beaten, but while she sticks her neck out to prevent Snow Flower’s son from being starved because he is seen as weak (when they are stuck in the mountains hiding from marauders), she accepts that husbands beat their wives when Snow Flower was in trouble and being beaten. I think it strongly showed social constraints that Lily never broke free of.See is fantastic at imagery. I felt like I was watching a brilliantly directed movie as I visualized everything. The way Snow Flower would put her hand over Lily’s cheek at night to help her sleep, the intricate embroidery messages, the peeling open of the fan slowly, the look and feel of the homes, etc. In addition, See brings to life truly dynamic and strong women who, unfortunately, never learn to value themselves. They could have become more through their friendship, but harsh expectations eventually tore Lily away.The concept of nu shu is truly a beautiful one. To read about one way women rebelled against their oppression was amazing. Women found an outlet to share emotions and thoughts. In their homes they were expected to obey. In their writing, they could come alive to the women they formed a sisterhood with.-- “In our country we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men's writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother's love.” --See’s storytelling shows a wonderful grace that makes you look at your own life. When have you accepted fate at face value? When have you let anger corrupt your thoughts and relationships? How have you treasured your friendship? When have you looked fate in the eye and had the courage to change it? How do you love others and what do you expect from them in return? I remember moving right before the start of my 4th grade year to a new city. I was overwhelmed and sad. I had difficulties making friends. But I had a pen pal. Each time a letter arrived, my heart lifted. We would tell each other our dreams and our hopes for the future. I felt this same feeling all over again as Lily received her fan from Snow Flower. I think the power of a friendship through writing, where you have to wait for the letters to be delivered versus instant messaging, is really a lost art. But I knew what Lily felt when she opened that fan. I think the power of that is what really drew me in to this story. I firmly believe that friendship of this nature, through writing, is patient and long-lasting.This was a beautiful and bittersweet tale of the power of love between friends. Nothing in this book was predictable, and it always kept me on the edge of my seat. I felt constantly concerned about the characters as I read! Yet, it’s not just an incredible tale of friendship, it’s also about what it means to be a woman and what defines a woman’s life. From the magic See weaves in her storytelling in this book, I don’t think even Shakespeare could have written this tragedy any better! While I was so sad how things turned out for these friends, the journey was a memorable one and well worth it. I will definitely pick up another book See has written as well as read this one again.-- “Only one person ever truly mattered to me, but I was worse to her than he worst husband. After Snow Flower asked me to be an aunt to her children, she said – and these were the last words she ever spoke to me – “Though I was not as good as you, I believe that heavenly spirits joined us. We will be together forever.” So many times I’ve thought back on that. Was she speaking the truth? What if the afterworld has no sympathy? But if the dead continue to have the needs and desires of the living, then I’m reaching out to Snow Flower and the others who witnessed it all. Please hear my words. Please forgive me.” --

Part history part story. Excellent book.

This was a beautiful story. I had never read anything from Lisa See before but I was re-reading some Amy Tan and See's writing came up. I read the overview and I thought that the story sounded like something I wanted to learn about. See is a wonderful writer.She seamlessly includes superstition and magic along with everyday life and she follows the mind of a child through to an adult and an old lady with the gift of someone who lacks pretension and presents everything with beautiful honesty. There's so much information in this book that I will be reading it again to pull the research into my eye. It's been expertly researched and it was one of the best historical books I've ever read.There were two areas that I felt could have been a bit better. The first one is that See is a bit heavy with her hints of the future. Her foreshadowing left me too aware of events that would happen and I felt that detracted from some of the surprises the book offered. This is a stylistic choice and I'm not really into foreshadowing and prefer the surprises. The second area is that she avoided the discussions about the parts of the story that didn't have to do immediately with her friendship and the secret fan.Again, this is stylistic. I felt that more about her husband and her children could have been included, especially about her husband. The men in the story were decidedly flat and I have the opinion that adding some extra pages to the book and fleshing out her relationship with her husband in particular would have been valuable. She does note in her writing that she didn't want to focus on that relationship and that was essentially another story, I hope that it actually is and there is another book about the rest of Lily's life.Overall though, these small complaints aside, this book was enrapturing. I didn't put it down the day I got it and read it from cover to cover the first day I got it and I'll be reading it again. It was great. I want to read more of See's books too and see what she's like about other subjects. This book was addressing some topics that touch women of every culture and had a strong resonance. Her knowledge and her sharing of this knowledge is a beautiful gift as well.If you're trying to decide if you should read this book or not go for it and buy the book. It was well worth it and I'm so glad I took the chance with an unknown (to me) author.

Amazing book in it's own category, I bought it second hand. Dilivery was fast , book condition was good . It's is a 2006 edition .

Fantástico. Ambientación realista e historia muy interesante.

I usually have short attention span and very little time to read books. But this book keeps me interested and I almost finish the book in another week. It has so many details and I am learning so much about the foot binding culture.

While this book went from one hardship to the next, it was laced with deep insights into a unique and interesting culture. A story about love and fate, shows how women can be so incredibly strong and resilient - in the unimaginable toughest of conditions. It was eye opening to read about the Yoa community in China - their customs and beliefs.