Making Marriage Simple: Ten Relationship-Saving Truths Paperback – April 1, 2014

I honestly wish I could give it 10 out of 10 stars because of the power that is packed in these few, simple words on these pages.First, I must confess that Harvelle was a faculty member of mine who taught me pastoral counseling many, many years ago when I attended seminary at Perkins School of Theology at SMU. This makes me bias toward in his and Helen's theoretical perspective and their books. It is been pleasure to teach Intro to Family Relations for more than 20 years at the University of Arkansas and prior to that the University of Wyoming. I have used Hendrix's material in the creation of numerous lectures over the years, especially Getting All the Love You Want.Everyone of the ten points that this book makes is based on sound research conducted over the last 30 years on marriage and family and published in the leading scholarly journals. However, this research is hidden in this book because it is directed at couples who are seeking to improve their relationships and not to get an advanced degree in family therapy.I want to recommend this book to everyone because we know that understanding these 10 issues can, not only enrich a marriage, but help to revitalize a committed relationships.Buy it and read it as a couple and do the suggested "activities." You will be stunned by what this book and the little amount of time focusing your your marriage can do for you and your relationship. Go for it! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from experiencing the process of reading this book.

I have to tell you, my whole point of view on the problems we are having has changed since reading this book. It felt like the authors had been to my house and listened to the arguments we have been having. We are at the 10 year mark and what they have to say about relationships has explained to me what I didn't understand was happening. This is my third marriage since age 18 and I was ready to give up on marriage altogether and resign myself to getting a couple of cats and living alone the rest of my life! Now I understand the problems we are having on a whole other level and look at us from a different angle. If you are looking for help, and I believe we are led to what we need when we need it, & If this is where you are in your relationship, try a sample and see if it is what you need at this time in your life. I know it sure has helped me. The arguments have almost completely stopped & when we do argue, it is different now. My husband has agreed to go through it chapter by chapter with me because he can see how much it has helped me. I have only read it once and skipped over the workbook parts as they suggested. It is like a book with a workbook built in! I can't wait to get started reading it again with him & doing the suggestions.

"Getting The Love You Want" changed my life. It was a bit dense and heavy to read, but it changed the way many experts think about relationships. My first thought on cracking the cover of "Marriage Made Simple" was that the pendulum was swung to far in the opposite direction. But I am telling you, DON'T LET THE CARTOONS FOOL YOU, THIS BOOK IS TRANSFORMATIONAL. Hendrix and Hunt have been evolving their study of relationships both as researchers and as practicing therapists for 40 years, and we are the benefactors. There is a section on overcoming negativity that promises to be the new essence of what makes relationships work. I loved the exercises for "The Space Between" and "Training Your Brain." Hendrix and Hunt correctly illustrate how it's not enough to change your actions. To really elevate yourself and your relationship, you can, and must, rewire your brain's chemistry. This book is practical, fascinating and invaluable.

I bought this book because I thought Getting the Love You Want was great. I think the insights and presentation in that book show a creative and thoughtful mind, qualities reading this book points to as a result of a excellent collaboration between Helen Hunt and Harville Hendrix. Making Marriage Simple is informed by Getting the Love You Want and Imago therapy, but it also includes insights Harville and Helen have had since the writing of that book. Insights based on their work with hundreds, actually probably thousands, of couples and their own marriage--though it is mostly the latter. Unfortunately, this part doesn't work so well.While the idea of getting an intimate peek into the relationship and love life of two self-aware couple's therapists, is very interesting. This is not an intimate portrayal. The couple (the book is written in different voices of each of them) openly refers to some of their struggles and how they felt like hypocrites until they came through the other side, but it never gives us the real nitty gritty of the conflicts. I understand why such well known therapists wouldn't want to make themselves vulnerable by giving particulars and I'm not asking for such details to be a voyeur, but specifics do breathe life and empathy into a book. In Getting the Love you want, there were more references/stories of couples they'd treated (and identities disguised of course) with intimate details that made the book come alive.The other issue I have with the book is the drawings. I imagine they are supposed to be cute, but I just found them a bit infantilizing. Not a big complaint, but I'm not sure why they were included. It's almost as though they were unconsciously making of for the lack of illustrative written examples, with actual illustrations.All said, I don't want to give an overall negative impression of the Making Marriage Simple. I've gotten value from it. Helen and Harville are still wise folks, giving solid advice that will likely improve any marriage. For example, their advice to pay attention to the space between you is a good one. As is the reminder that conflict is growth trying to happen. They are definitely wise in the ways of a mature and loving marriage. If nothing else, it's great to have some of the reminders and refreshers from Getting the Love You Want (which I read years ago). Note: this book is a pretty fast read.