Aikido in Everyday Life: Giving in to Get Your Way

I've used this book both personally and professionally in both a hospital and a university counseling environment ever since the book first came out in hardback back in the 70's. Granting some of the complaints of previous reviewers, the examples Dobson gives are now a bit out of date (Dobson cannot update them; he died a few years ago), but I have yet to have a college student fail to make his or her own update with little problem. Contrary to some of the negative reviewers' comments, I personally have found the book extremely useful, and so have the majority of the people I have introduced the book to over the years. I've especially had a number of university students tell me the book was very useful in helping them deal with their problematic professors, parents, girlfriends or boyfriends. Possibly some of the negative reviewers were hampered by the fact that they were reading the book all by themselves, without any counseling assistence or prior aikido training to help them fully orient to the concepts presented in the text. Without a doubt, the "geometry of conflict" theory presented in the book is sometimes quite arcane to the uninitiated. Nonetheless, the writing style is friendly, conversational and-- I find-- entertaining. As a supplement to Dobson, I also recommend people read "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith-- the original assertiveness training book. With a little creative thought and persistent practice, the techniques in both of these books are extremely useful. Not magic, not a quick fix, but the techniques work if you work at them.

The diagrams showing the six ways to handle a conflict totally work for me. The attacker is always a triangle pointing right at you. You can assume many shapes. A triangle also when you choose to fight back. A triangle facing away from the attacking triangle: when you choose to withdraw. A circle when you choose to parlay (talk it out). A shady circle when you choose to deceive. A square when you choose to do nothing. That's only five... and the book shows you when to choose which, the best way to do each of the five and overall, the root cause of conflict and how to end it. The sixth technique is brilliant. You agree with the attacker. They call it Aiki and it is a spotted circle. And it is amazingly effective. Easy read, fun and educational.

Authored by Terry Dobson, one of the earliest Occidentals to study Aikido in Japan under the Founder, and a self-described "oddball", this book is somewhat cryptic in its approach, and one might possibly have to understand a lot more about the author to really get their head around this one. One man's trash, another man's treasure...

Great book on verbal skills. If you struggle being heard or not being able to get what you want in situations, here is an excellent guide on developing excellent communication skills. Learn the dance of conversation, a lost art that can really infuse a new life changing skill in your life. Explained simply in an easy to read style with diagrams. No longer fear confrontations! Be confident with your speech and know what is going on behind people's speech.

Easy to read and understand. A must with dealing with controlling ur emotions in conflict

Wow! What a great book on effective communication. Nice & short & simple, with very easy to understand principles.I know others reviewers have said some of the examples are outdated, I have to disagree as human behaviours and interests can be a bit timeless.The book has been around for a long time, I've read a fair few books on communication and empathy that have been published after this one. I'd rate this one as classic & well worth the investment.

This book is not a Martial Arts book, its about Dealing with Everyday Conflict. This book should be taught to every child in Primary school, and if you are an adult, reading it will seriously help you with everyday conflict. I don't mean you will be able to one-up others in conflict, but you will be able to manage yourself so much better, I've already seen an improvement in my own life.

Because of its non-aggressive approach to conflict resolution, Aikido's techniques are often viewed as physical metaphors for side-stepping the stress and strain of daily life in the office, behind the wheel and at home.This is perhaps the finest bridge out there in transforming "an equilibrium of mind and body" into a way of life.I'd highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the martial arts, and all those who aren't.

Because I was afraid to try the martial art of Aikido, I instead decided to try this book. In an age where stress is such a huge factor in most people's far too busy lives, having a way to find calm and focus that does not have to be highly physical can be a blessing for anyone. This book describes how to negotiate in any kind of interaction by coming alongside rather than trying to overcome whatever is the "enemy". Finding that center of controlled energy and focus within our own body/mind/spirits is a huge asset. And the final sections of the book point out what is our greatest enemy: our own selves. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to find a source of connection with that inner power we all have to be centered and not controlled by our fight/flight/freeze biology.

Para desarrollo personal. Es práctico y con una filiosofia armoniosa con La Vida

Very powerful content. I am using it both personally and professionally. It is really helping me in resolving conflicts in the most desirable manner.

Bellissimo libro di Dobson, non strettamente legato all'aikido ma più alla filosofia che si trova intorno. molto bello, lo consiglio.

A fundamental premice of the `aiki' (`confluence') philosophy advocated by Terry Dobson in his excellent book, which is all about conflict resolution, is that an aggressor is a person who is out of balance and badly needs help. Our noble task is, therefore, to help him regain his balance, by skillfully `flowing' with him, which neither means allowing ourselves to be trampled by him nor destroying our opponent (as we may often be tempted to...). The book is written in a very warm style, is easy to understand, makes for an entertaining reading, and its simple concepts DO work. This little gem is a must-read for everyone, as it is a true life-changer. In my opinion it should be mandatory high school reading. I join the previous reviewers in my sincere thanks to the late Terry Dobson for such a precious gift, which I have been sharing with my fiends (I bought several copies to give them away). MM