The Love Machine

[THE LOVE MACHINE -(1971)- Widescreen - directed by Jack Haley Jr.] I don't care what anyone says, this flick is a lot more cultishly campy than 'Dolls', and a lot more trashy, tawdry and downright shoddy. Sleaze that aims to please, yessir. And I mean that in the most favorable way possible. John Phillip Law in his most animated role I've seen as a TV news anchor (known as the Love Machine), sleeping with every floozy imaginable, as he ascends to the top of a respected television network, only to self-destruct in half the time of the proverbial New York minute.The women involved are star-banging, back-biting, gossip-mongering, flat-backing, deliciously disingenuous and calloused carnivores who make this film a festival of frightening conduct and mannerless man-grabbing, god bless them. Naturally, the supreme-deity of depravity is Dyan Cannon, who makes the price of admission worthwhile in and of herself. As gloriously bitchy, needy and manipulative as the other femme fatales are, the film would be worthless without Dyan's charismatic presence and cut-throat contributions. She literally owns the final act of this cinematic sewage, elevating it not to art or a good film, but a delightful expedition into the seamier side of a seedy world we love to wallow in and hate. Therein lays its value and virtue. No more, no less - no one in their right mind approaches this film or novel seeking art or esthetics except the exceedingly delusional.Sure, there's much to chastise here but remember, this is a Jacqueline Susann novel with Jackie presiding over the proceedings (insisting as such as she despised what Hollywood did with her 'Dolls' film) and what did she really know about filmmaking? Bubkas. Even with the studio hiring Jack Haley Jr. ('That's Entertainment!') as director, this trainwreck was predestined to be the trash it was always touted to be. But it's transcendent trash in hindsight, a carwreck we can't turn away from as we search the wreckage for carnage and bloodshed. And that's where we aren't disappointed here, not by a longshot.David Hemmings in a great role as a gay photographer, Shecky Greene at his slimiest as a TV comedienne host, Jackie Cooper as an elder programming exec soon on his way out, Robert Ryan as Dyan Cannon's older husband and network head, and Maureen Arthur, Claudia Jennings, Jodi Wexler and Sharon Farrell as the feral felines all make certain we don't stay bored or indifferent to the time-honored clichés on display for too long. For a trashpic, there's not a lot of nudity and the ever-present exploitative element appears a bit tame, even by early 70's standards (eg. 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls'), but there is enough lowbrow camp to keep most of the core audience appeased. My generosity after seeing this flick is going overboard by giving this one five stars, but those of you who appreciate solid 70's celluloid sleaze will probably agree...

After reading the book and enjoying the story I had to watch the motion picture version and I will admit I was let down a little. The reason I felt a bit disappointed was my favorite character in the book was Maggie and she was only given a few scenes in the movie. The campiness factor was in full swing and it never lets up from the beginning to end. Most of the characters were underused and the story in the movie was left unclear at the end but for the most part I did enjoy this movie. It's a good thing I have read the book prior to watching this because I would have been lost for sure. The acting wasn't to bad but the motives of the characters were not explained well in the movie. Now getting past the bad stuff I was able to enjoy the movie for what it is worth. It is just as campy as Valley Of The Dolls and it is just as fun to watch! Don't take it to seriously and you will enjoy it!!

This film is an absolute hoot. It doesn't pretend to be anything short of trash, but what entertaining trash it is. Basically, this film centres on the story of Robin (John Phillip Law Stone) who is a new anchor who sleeps his way to the top. That's really all that you need to know. There are some real laugh-out-loud over the top moments. This film is best watched in a group that on ones own. This gets 4 starts for the sheer outrageousness and camp.

If u liked Valley Of The Dolls you will love this film. Worth the price for Dyan Cannons acting what a laugh she has great sup cast

The LOVE MACHINE is actually TELEVISION, and Jacqueline Susann's double entendre title is the best thing about this movie. Hard on the heels of VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, this could have been a fun movie if somebody hadn't dropped the ball. In Valley, the fun was in watching the antics of Patty Duke as Neely O'Hara and Susan Hayward as Helen Lawson and wondering whether Judy Garland and Ethel Merman were anything like these screen characters.THE LOVE MACHINE is about the wheeling and dealing and philandering that goes on in the world of Television circa 1970 something and the problem is that you just won't care. This is TV, small screen, smale scale and cheesy, which is surprising considering the fact that it was a follow-up to a blockbuster. John-Phillip Law, a flash-in-the-pan from the 70's plays Robin Stone, a supposedly charismatic TV executive who is irresistable to women. He is not at all believable because his performance is colorless and bland. If you're a bad guy, BE a bad guy! The women in his life are uninteresting as well. This is death for a soap opera like this movie. If you don't care about the women, you have no movie.Dionne Warwicke is on hand to sing an imitation Burt Bacharach title song, which is a dumb idea considering the fact that Andre and Dory Previn, not Burt Bacharach wrote the hit theme for Valley of the Dolls. The theme song from this movie flopped.Dyan Cannon is too young for her role of a cougar married to a TV executive.I don't remember the name of the actress who plays Amanda, that's how bad she was. Only Maureen Arthur is intriguing as Ethel Evens, the "Celebrity Boinker", but her role is to small to make this movie worth watching.David Hemmings gives possibly the all-time worst performance by an actor as a gay fashion photographer. His portrayal seems to be a blend of Bette Davis as Margo Channing and George Sanders as Addison DeWitt in All About Eve. This performance is as odious as a dead skunk and just as appealing; however it is the most interesting performance in the film.The movie never explains Robin Stone's motivation. In fact, no situations or set-ups are ever resolved. The movie just kind of ambles along and ends, as if they ran out of money or lost interest in it. You'll lose interest in it, too!The only other interesting detail about this movie is that the book on which it was based popularized the Egyptian Ankh as a Love symbol and, for a while, people started wearing them around their necks.This movie is also a dead skunk. don't waste your time on it.

wow, lve wanted this film for years. l was happy that Amazon had it. its a great film full of excitment! love ,sadness ,betrayal, funny ,humor ,greed ,sex, violence all in one movie Jacket Suzanne knew what she was doing when she wrote this awesmely amazing masterpiece , yts great!!!!!!!!!!

Didn’t recall the entire movie. Glad I got it….quite different than the book. J Suzanne was also in this one. Tooo bad she died as she was way before in her time for storytelling🙁

Best bad movie ever.